10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

"Charlene, I think you're special..."

There was a very sweet, very christian girl selling personalized children's music cd's in the booth across from us at the fair. It was sort of awesome/horrible but she was super adorable so I can almost forgive the fact that I will have every single one of those songs stuck in my head for the rest of my life. She did all of our names and I asked her if she had Barack, but sadly that's not an option. It would have rocked.

We just about broke even and since we have a few more shows to do we should have a profit at the end. A lot of the other crafters were very disappointed in the turnout. We felt pretty fortunate. Our theory is that most people buy wreaths every year and ours were pretty cheap...it was a blue light special sort of day...unlike some of the other products that they had to work a little harder to sell (how many people need a dinner plate clock for instance). It was very educational. We learned that Hemlock and Pine together is a very big hit, sometimes you can't have too much gold on one wreath (that was a special experience, I wish I had a picture), and glitter makes everything better. We had a pretty good time altogether and I got a very nice loaf of wheat bread from a wise vendor who didn't want to take it home. Which I totally understand now.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

"No, I kneed it then."

So far, we've made almost half of what we spent. One more day to break even!

Friday, November 28, 2008

"windy with a chance of murder"

Tomorrow is the first real test of our crafting skills. It's extremely nerve wracking. Fortunately for my nerves there was a rain storm that melted all the damn snow so I got to have a few runs this weekend. Life is better with running, it just is. Pounding the pavement really clears my brain, I should really look for a treadmill on craigslist. I had to go to walmart this morning which I thought would be awful but actually it was fine and I even got to park up front. There were cashiers standing around begging to ring people out, it was really bizarre. I asked them if the morning was busy and at first she shook her head and then she said that the numbers beat last year by 10 am. So wow for that. Every year "they" say that people are cutting back for christmas and blah blah blah and every year they're wrong because americans don't consider christmas optional. They might starve in January but in December they're buying tickle me elmo. It's truly fascinating.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

"You smooth talking sex maniac"

I didn't make it home for thanksgiving so we're having thanksgiving in miniature by ourselves. Actually we're hiding out from Matt's family and hopefully it doesn't bite us in the ass but at the moment I can't seem to care. There is far too much to get done above and beyond cooking an impromptu tiny ass thanksgiving dinner.

Sadly, I burned the edges of my mini pumpkin pie, bad, bad baker, but I'm hoping to do better with the mini apple. Matt requested a cornish game turkey but this was the closest I could get. I expect he'll have a whole tablespoon of stuffing and gravy but he's far too busy to care. Hopefully Christmas is less trouble.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

"she irons her jeans, she's evil"

These are the running sneakers I bought the fall before I moved out of Bar Harbor, two years ago. I was very careful to only wear them for running, to protect my investment and also because they're super white nikes and not exactly my every day style. I bought some new running sneakers this summer because apparently you're supposed to replace your running shoes after every third run or something so two years seemed about right. I've been wearing the old ones around the house, for running when it rains so my new shoes don't get trashed, I've worn them every day for wreath making. Every other piece of clothing I've worn down in the shop is trashed, pitch and dirt and spray glitter and yet these sneakers are like they're out of the damn box. I think maybe they're possessed. There's no other explanation. My sneakers might be evil, definitely undead. No other explanation for them being so damn white after two years of use.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

"And yet I feel no pain. Just a sort of disinterest."

I am seriously broken. We've been getting our wreath on all day and I'm tired and dirty and there are pine cones in my oven. It actually smells really awesome in here, piney. I'm trying to get home for thanksgiving which is sort of reminding me of being in college. Working until the last minute, packing frantically and then driving for a much too high percentage of two short days. Not that I'm complaining. I really, really wanted to go home this thanksgiving. What is the purpose of being unemployed if you can't spend holidays with the fam. I'm feeling guilty both about staying and going and very stressed which seems totally unfair since I'm supposed to be obligation-less. But there is no such thing is there, unless maybe you're a cat.

My brother is in his own apartment which is a new development on the home front. It seems he's been on a list for a very long time for a semi-assisted living situation. It's obvious that he can't live on his own, living with dad is not helping him or dad and my almost 70 year old father is right to worry what happens to my brother if something happens to him. My sister can't take care of him and her three children and he'd be even more isolated here and god knows my sister in europe isn't going to be able to, so he has to be in the system. He needs more help than we can give him, more structure. He's never been able to do normal things on his own, like take a shower every day without being forced (as in not just stand in the bathroom with the shower running for two minutes like people who actually bathe won't notice that that's not long enough and also that your hair is dry) and other more unpleasant acts of personal hygiene and it seems unreasonable to think that after thirty four years he's going to get better.

He's not going to get better and it's time to accept that and do what has to be done. Unfortunately, this means he's going to have a roommate which is worrisome. His college roommate didn't take too well to the not showering, we can only hope that this roommate is equally insane or that the staff is extra super excellent. My dad is terrified that he's going to get kicked out for his behavior. My sister says that if he does get kicked out it'll be to a more structured environment because he is obviously not ok and not capable of living a normal life. There was a point during his last psych ward visit wherein he lied compulsively to the staff and they said if that behavior continued they may never be able to let him out. They obviously did but I don't think he was better off. He really, really likes the psych ward and since nothing else in the whole world gives him pleasure...maybe he should be there.

Monday, November 24, 2008

warning, actual post ahead

Third day of not being able to run and already almost three pounds up. Fark. I can't run on the road because of the snow. The snow that apparently was centered on our wee hamlet and left about 8 inches while it wasn't snowing anywhere else. Tomorrow I'm setting up my bike for indoor cycling to make up for the cardio hours I'm missing from my runs. Today I have to make about 20 wreaths and I just have to set that cycling goal for tomorrow. I know you're not supposed to make goals for tomorrow...all the best intentions and all...but I just can't do it today unless I finish all my wreaths early. Which is a strange reward, finish all that manual labor and you can exercise for an hour, WHOOO! By the end of this expedition tarring and feathering would be something to look forward to, anything but pine.

And also, of course, there is the food. On the one hand, when I was working I was out of the office a lot and it was really easy to pick up this or that and then completely forget about it when it came to rationalizing the day. At home, everything is at my disposal but it's quite as easy as buying a soda or chocolate and running back to the office. I don't buy a lot of things to grab and snack on. Anything we want to eat, we have to cook first. I really think exercise is my biggest hurdle, (pun totally awesome) and I have to get that figured out before it's January and I'm going backwards.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I think we're in a cold snap

Ya think? It's 18 degrees right now. 18. It's November...this is wrong, just wrong. It's far too cold for November. I'm severely displeased. I'm all kinds of cranky today because of the cold and the snow and the fact that I'm pretty sure two of the four nightgowns I've now sewn won't be wearable. I made a big sleeve mistake. Sleeves are a serious pain in the rear and I'm pretty sure the way they are sewn will prevent tiny arms and heads from getting their pajama on. I can A. ignore it and hope for the best or B. put in a zipper or a button or the like. I could make them sleeveless except for the 18 degrees problem. It's tricky being a seamstress. I'm never sewing clothes with sleeves again. All vests from here on out.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Firstly, it's been snowing all day and the weather channel says it's clear and windy. Not even thanksgiving and the battle begins. I was supposed to do some tipping and some wreathing...I have serious craft fair homework and so far I'm failing. I'm getting an F in craft fair. I think I'm getting an A in flattening birch bark though. I have a big damn piece drying in my bathroom under some ridiculously heavy steel weights from Matt's machine shop. Matt originally suggested using the iron but I'm pretty sure the indians sent theirs to the dry cleaner so I'm giving this method a whirl. It's supposed to be a sign for our booth but maybe we'll make a canoe for old times sake.

Pajama party '08 is coming along well, the second gown is officially done. I thought I liked the flowers better, and then the ice cream, and now I'm not so sure. Any votes? The seams are a hell of a lot straighter on this set though, which is good because finding crooked children is a pain in the ass.

Friday, November 21, 2008

"I'm so sorry if my agonizing pain is inconveniencing you."

Firstly, after a number of experiments conducted lo these weeks of unemployment I have decided that a banana and oatmeal is the best pre-run breakfast. Normally, when I had a job and a schedule, I ran before breakfast. Lately it's so freakin' cold that the longer I put off my run the warmer it is. A few degrees is a lot when it's 30. I'm pretty proud of myself actually for not being more of a wimp and giving up completely. I might have to invest in a face mask though, before my cheeks actually fall off one day.

I keep forgetting today is friday and that thanksgiving is next week. I need to make myself a post-it. Our first big ass craft fair is the weekend after thanksgiving and we're killing ourselves to be ready. We didn't seem to think there would be very much work involved because we aren't very smart. It's going to be a learning experience for sure. And also it's very sticky. I've washed my hands more times this week that I have...probably ever. I might not have any skin left by christmas.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

"ten wanks beyond fussy!"

Pajamas a la me. We finally got one of the machines working (oil, who knew) and I got the first nightgown done. It looks really great from a far. It's sort of worse when you can see the seems but that's the great thing about children's clothes because children grow so fast they might just outgrow the nightgown before the whole thing unravels...always thinking!

I have to make three more and then my christmas sewing is done. Fortunately the children are progressively smaller and I'm getting faster with each seem so by these calculations I should be done before I start the third pair, it's like flying west. Can you call it a pair when it's only one? Pajamas are confusing.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

A very Brady christmas to you too

So, we're up on Etsy. With three whole items. WooHoo. Wanna see what we've been up to these last few days, check us out!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

imaginary business

Today I made exactly one wreath and my hands are so black with pine pitch I look like my boyfriend. I now know how boys get so dirty, it's really not that hard. So, I made one wreath that I sort of hate, I accidentally painted Charlene's beautiful took her two hours wreath with silver instead of clearcoat and while I feel reallllly bad about that it looks pretty awesome.

I'm getting ready to post some things on Etsy tomorrow. I'll put the link here so you can see how we're spending our unemployed time. I'm no longer foolish enough to think we'll make any profit but we're having a good time. Good times are better than "oh my god I'm unemployed" times so everyone wins!

Monday, November 17, 2008

If you can't beat 'em, balsam

Making wreaths is effing hard but it smells awesome. We made nine today, four of which look like the christmas decoration equivalent of pissed off and rabid wildebeasts, but whatever. It's a learning process. We're going to try again tomorrow...starting with bow making 101. Maybe I shouldn't have given the florist so much shit at the old job, it does suck standing all day working at a table. I'm a mean, mean girl and I'm feeling repentant.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

"fabulous but semi-crippling"

Working hard at the Maine Grind in Ellsworth, with cupcakes...yay for customer appreciation day. We were discussing our imaginary business and reading Martha Stewart. Charlene has some super awesome ideas if we can actually figure out how to make a wreath. If we can get past that hurdle, well, we're golden.

This morning it would not stop raining so I missed my daily run. I made up for it by helping Matt lug firewood. It was seriously demoralizing. He did two trips to my one, I was the weakest link. He kept saying it didn't matter, everything I carried was something he didn't have to carry, but I felt completely useless. And now I feel completely knackered. Which I suppose means I got my exercise quotient but I don't feel energized like I do when I get my run in, I just feel tired. I suppose that's the difference between work and exercise.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

cautionary tale

I grabbed matt's ugly ass orange fleece as Charlene and I were leaving to search for balsams yesterday. I'm not a mainer but it's a habit and I was shocked that Charlene didn't have a stitch of orange on or in her car. She was worried about bears and I'm worried about hunters. Matt has officially banned me from wearing brown, white, basically any color that any dumbass with a gun could possibly think was a deer. I'm not even allowed to carry a plastic hannaford bag because they're either white or brown, I had to find the one blue one. A long time ago he told me a story of a woman who was in her back yard with white mittens and was shot because someone thought she was a deer. I always remember that story and today it was in the paper. That was twenty years ago and the anniversary is today. It's pretty hard to read but I wasn't here twenty years ago and I didn't have to live it. I feel terribly for both parties, I really do. A family lost their wife and mother and a hunter took a human life, whether he's able to admit it or not.

The article says that hunting is safer now and blah blah blah but I think a lot of what the victim's husband said of 1988 is still true today. Hunters think that their right to hunt is all that matters and that anyone who objects is against hunting and against guns and is a liberal communist pussy. Really, there are t-shirts. They noted a housing boom as a cause of the accident. Personally, I think if you're going out somewhere with a gun you have a responsibility to know where the fuck you are (and have, you know, permission) and what you're shooting at and if you show up somewhere and there are houses maybe you should re-think your plan. Recreational land users in Maine drive me fucking crazy. They really think they can take their guns and their atv's and their snowmobiles anywhere they want to and it's just fine. Dig up our road, trash a blueberry field, shoot a homeowner...I don't think most of them are aware of consequences because for so long everything was just paper company land or unorganized land and now it's owned by individuals and Roxanne and they're unable to deal.

There is a distinct inability to adapt here, to accept change. Which is bullshit because it's damn hard to live here. I sometimes wonder if the populous survives on sheer stubornness. There is a complete inability to accept change. If you work for the paper mill and the paper mill shuts down...no one moves. They all just stay there and starve and say gee things were better when the paper mill was here...I do not understand. I do not understand because I am an outsider and I'm sure that Kevin Woods is right when he says it would have made a difference if the hunter had killed a local woman. If it was a Mrs. Baldacci that was shot, or anyone named Beal it would have been a different story.

I am genuinely scared when I'm out in the woods because Matt is scared for me. He's a hunter and he knows a lot of hunters and if he thinks most of them will shoot anything that moves I trust him. I can't wait for November to be over and the fear of being shot in my own yard gone (well, lessened anyway). I hate wearing orange and wondering weather my burgundy sweater is going to get me killed, it's no different than victims in rape cases being criticized for their clothes. I don't think it's my responsibility to keep morons from shooting me but I don't want to die for it so I wear the orange...and I make Charlene wear the orange too. I told her bears are afraid of orange so everyone wins.

Friday, November 14, 2008

"She's so hot, she's making me sexist - bitch."

The wreath making odyssey began today. We bought some supplies including some ridiculously fabulous flocked 1960 reindeer that I frickin' love. I'm not all that into christmas decorations...strange considering my new venture...but I seriously love these reindeer. They stepped right of the wonder years I swear. They're magnificent in their ugliness. We also bought some stuff that's not ugly, like ribbon and rings and blah blah all the other stuff you need to make cool stuff. Tomorrow we're going to scope out some craft fairs and check in on the competition. We're amazingly on the same page with our design ideas. I knew we thought a lot alike before but we really clicked today while making our choices in the shop and then driving through the woods (don't ask) and I'm really excited about our plans. Even if we don't break even, we'll have a great time so that's something.

What is not something, well I guess it is but it's a sucky something, is that I gave my friend the last kitkat in the bag this afternoon. WHICH MEANS I ATE AN ENTIRE BAG OF KITKAT MYSELF. No, really. I gave half of one mini kat to Matt and one mini pack to my friend and every other one I friggin' ate myself. No damn wonder I've been holding at 180. What is a wonder is that I haven't keeled over dead one morning coming up the hill. Can one have solid chocolate in the arteries, I know about cholesterol but what about chocolate...what is the survival rate of the kitkat bypass surgery? Is there anything more embarrassing in the whole world than offering candy to your new business partner and then having to admit you ate the WHOLE BAG because you already told her you were having a slight kitkat problem that morning. Yeah, no. I really need to get my shit together. What is the point of killing myself to run every morning and pushing myself further and GROWING EMOTIONALLY to then eat an entire bag of halloween candy? I hate myself so much right now, you have no idea.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

the big licker

This sweatshirt was covered in fur. It belongs to Matt, so it really belongs to the meow and we've just been pretending it doesn't exist because wow was it furry. I stuck it in the washer as was and this is what happened. Doesn't it look like a constellation? Perhaps it's a great piece of art exploring the nebulaeic depths of the universe. Perhaps I should clean my house more often. Perhaps I should blog on a topic that isn't cat related.

I had a really sort of sad run today. I was not in to it. I find on days like this that I just keep hitting next song on my shuffle until I realize I'm just standing on the side of the road and that's not so sweaty an activity. I added a few new songs recently and that did the trick for most of last week but today not so much. Nelly is really the only music that keeps my feet moving, it is getting hot in herre and it must be the money because for some reason those two songs have consistently pumped me up. Yay nelly. Unfortunately it's not really in the budget to buy new songs every week just to keep on the trail. I've got to find some other motivation to get me to endorphin euphoria. What do you do when you get tired of your exercise music, do you buy a ton more or get over it?

I'm really enjoying my early runs despite the music problem, it's a different thing altogether when you aren't in a hurry to be anywhere..."why yes, I can run a bit further...why not go another half mile" so far it's very positive. I fixed my pants so I'm better dressed and perfectly warm and so far not shot (I did see a deer tied to a honda civic today which was a bit like a elmer fudd cartoon). I'm not seeing a huge weight reduction, I'm down around five pounds and holding but oh so impressed with my new muscles. I love feeling myself up.

I read something recently about using your blog as a resume and somehow I think not. But then maybe everyone doesn't write about grabbing their own ass. I guess it depends on the profession.

"We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and we're gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos."

So, don't even tell me how many years I am behind because I don't need to know...I just, just this second got hooked on friggin' entourage. It must have been a while back because they're dancing to toxic and their Mac is a G4. The wreath business officially begins tomorrow but my pajama party is in tatters. Grandma's machine is, uhm, well I can't get to the damn bobbin. Any of y'all sew, I'm totally desperate. If anyone knows how the hell to get to the arm of a Singer Stylist 533 write me urgently. I have half useless sewing machines all over my newly emptied living room and it's damaging my chi. I feel like my meme, only without the 32 years worth of styrofoam McFishwich boxes stacked in my bedroom.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tricksy sewing machineses

Obviously I suck because I had to publish to see what the pictures would look like and whoa, it's like a collage. Not that it matters, photojournalism this is not. Anyway, here's my new sweatshop. Or it would be if the sewing machine worked. Something is happening between the thread and the bobbin and it makes an unpleasant sound. I guess in the three years since I've sewn anything something went awry. Or more likely I put it away broken and figured it would be fixed by the time I used it again. Which seriously didn't work. I have another sewing machine downstairs that hopefully works...it just comes with one of those huge ass desks. Can you see the size of this room? I spent all week trying to make more space in my sky trailer and now I have to bring up another desk. Argh.

I'm trying to make pajamas for the children for christmas. I already cut all the pieces so hopefully I can get a machine working because it would seriously suck to sew all that by hand. I made Matt's cinnamon bread yesterday but it was still cooling last night. I used it for french toast this morning and decided that I am a genius. But not genius enough to take a picture. I did take a sort of creepy picture of Sam from the end of the first lord of the rings. I have a lot of time to kill so trilogies it is. Back to the future tomorrow. I almost wish I had tv, the silence is killing me. And still, no braids...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

"He's alright, as far as violent pissheads go."

Officially tired of unemployment. Considered cleaning bathroom grout with toothbrush simply to pass time. Set up twitter but as I'm doing nothing 25 hours a day, no tweets. Opened bag of halloween candy, bad decision. Frozen kit kats suck. Considering going outside to be eaten by bear for blog fodder. Cat would not allow me to braid her fur, said something about boundaries. Help.

Monday, November 10, 2008

"Somewhere a rainbow is weeping."

I dun broke my running pants. Must've been running too fast, too hard, too run-a-lisciously. Yeah, whatever it's going to be a long month but I seriously did break my pants. I'm distressed, the cord broke in the middle of the, err waist band, and somehow I have to fish it out because I'm way too poor to buy new ones. It's going to take hours, which fortunately I have, but at the moment I'm too lazy. So this morning I had to wear my pippy longstocking socks with my not long enough sweatpants (seriously, capri sweatpants...what was I thinking) and my horribly yellow sweatshirt so I'm not mistaken for a deer and some truckers from canada honked at me. Sassy bastards. It was quite a look, like short stop on the baseball team of hell. How's that for imagery. Aren't I writer-y today. Hemingway, Hemingway, Hemingway.

So clearly I'm going frickin' insane in my house. Too much time alone and I'm completely out of things to dust. Just me and the meow. I'm going to braid her fur later and then we'll play truth or dare, it's gonna rock. I can't wait for my friend to get laid off so we can be bums together. Top of the list of things I never thought I'd wish for.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

"Jesus is coming - Look Busy!"

So, something happened at the funeral that has been driving me crazy and since I have to post every day this month why not get it out of my brain and into the blogosphere and then maybe get over it. Matt's mother introduced her sons to the very kind and eloquent reverend as "this is my son "Matt's brother" and his beautiful girl "girlfriend" oh, and this is Matt and Amy". I'm a big petty jerk but damn does that seem insensitive to you?

I edited this part where I wrote about Matt's frustrations because they're his and not mine to discuss at length on the internet. I will say that it makes me cranky when they treat him badly. He gets guilt trips for not going to each of the three to four birthday parties for his brother's girlfriend's children but no one seems to care that the brother didn't make it to say goodbye to his grandmother who was dying for over a month. Children that are in no way related to matt and have so much family that they have a handful of birthday parties every year merit more time than your actual grandmother who has asked to see you one more time, great family values. I'm tired of us being the pariahs because we make different choices. And also, the brother made a remark that Matt has a mother and not a girlfriend because I cook for him instead of stouffer's every night...sorry you're jealous buddy..nothing I can do about it.

I know I'm the odd one out and that's fine with me most of the time. I'm not going to pretend to go all gooey about her babies (for whom they put diet coke in a sippy cup, WHAT THE FUCK) and christmas and say "gee, aren't men helpless" all the time just to be like his mom and the perfect, beautiful girlfriend (who didn't vote because she didn't have the time...that pesky every four years is so hard to plan for). ARGHHH. I'm just frustrated and Matt is frustrated and I'm tired of sucking it up. I'm taking a break from sucking. I'm going to be vapid and petty and whiny today and maybe I'll be a grown-up tomorrow. Afternoon.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

"And that's why you don't get your money's worth when you wear jeans to a strip club"

Currently baking a pie, making applesauce, folding laundry and watching Smokey and the Bandit. I'm a busy, busy girl. My friend from the old job and I are getting our christmas wreath venture all sorted out. We even have some customers already! Yay! We're going up to the wreath making capital of Maine next week for supplies. Expect photos of wreath-y goodness. I'm planning to print up some christmas cards too, I'm SO crafty when I have the time.

Because of the crafting I've pulled out all my printing supplies. I have a stack of soft block to carve. I've been storing it with some styrofoam plates that I used for valentine's day a few years back. It was silly to save styrofoam, they're not exactly heirloom printing plates, but I did and man was it interesting when I pulled them out. Apparently, when you stack soft block and styrofoam together it turns the styrofoam into rubber. Which is fascinating. The soft block plates are fine, even cleaner after the rubber pulled out all the ink residue. Next time I'll store them for 10 years and hope for diamonds.

Friday, November 07, 2008

"God was my co-pilot but then we crashed into a mountain and I had to eat him"

A long time ago when my mom was just sick instead of gone, my aunt gave me one of those pink ribbon magnets for my car. I should say she tried to give it to me, I wouldn't take it. She had bought a whole bunch of them, she had one of every color on her car: cancer, the troops, one for everything. My refusal was sort of a big deal and apparently I have no tact with that sort of situation. I don't always see the benefit of lying for the sake of others and probably I'm a bad person. I admit it freely, and right up at the top here because the rest of this post gets a little cranky..

Today at the grocery store the wall o' pink products was on sale. It was very difficult to not buy a pink broom, or some pink pot holders or anything really because I love me some random pink stuff. But I couldn't do it and not just because I'm not supposed to be spending on random things. I hate all that breast cancer awareness crap. That might even be too specific, I hate all that raising money for a cause by buying stuff to stick to your car or because it's a certain color. I don't believe that buying cupcake liners with pink ribbons on them cures cancer, I just really don't and it makes me insane that companies profit from selling us the idea that they're doing a good thing by offering us these products to buy.

My aunt bought those magnets because she genuinely thought it would help. I think sitting with my mom when she was dying was what genuinely helped. I think it's despicable of companies to take advantage of people who want to do good in the world. I think it's despicable that cancer will never have a cure because it's just too profitable the way it is. A friend of a friend just cured his own cancer with a natural remedy that his doctor was legally not allowed to tell him about. He found it on his own and his cancer is gone. But that doesn't make his hospital any money, or the insurance company, or the pharmaceutical company, never mind any of the researchers that work so hard until they get close to a discovery and then disappear. I guarantee you that's a story you'll never hear on Oprah or any other mainstream media.

I hate that companies use the disease that killed my mother to make money. I hate that people who collect for that kind of thing outside the grocery store look at me like a I'm a bad person because I don't donate. I give happily to families struggling under their medical bills because of cancer and inadequate health insurance but I won't give to the industry. I don't need a pink frying pan to remember my mother and her suffering, I never will. And it sucks because I'd love a pink frying pan, ironic.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

"dude, I have to see some penguins like right now..."

I'm doing some interview work for a job I really don't want and waiting to go to a funeral I really don't want to go to and there's like no candy at my dad's house. He did offer to go buy me some when I complained about it, which is something I suppose. Matt and I drove down last night and we're going back tonight because my car needs work. It sucks because I wanted to spend time with my family but I have to wait till my car is fixed. I think I'm just in a whiny mood today and should probably suck it up and shut down the computer. The random dying and falling asleep for no reason is only adding to my insanity.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

"A psychotic horse toward a burning stable"

I can't seem to get my unemployed ass in gear today. I did my run as usual and since then nothing. I've filed exactly one thing. it's awful, this election hangover. I stayed up too late even though I could have gone to sleep happy after pennsylvania. Even with my predictive map red all over there was no chance for a mccain with without pa. Bless them and their all white meals with white gravy and no vegetables ever, bless them.

So, I drank a soda and ate a kitkat and still no enthusiasm. How disappointing that you can't ingest enthusiasm. You can fly to the moon and elect a black man president and you can't take a pill to get your house clean, shameful.

338 to 163

I'm so relieved, I have no words.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

"passed me running, caught me standing still"

This is sort of the middle of the line. The woman next to the bakesale sign voted for Nader last time out of spite. I didn't need to know that, I really didn't.
The line went around the town hall and up a flight of stairs. The stairs were sort of sad because there were lots of old people waiting in line but they seemed to be in good spirits. People kept saying "historic day" and the like. On the stairwell there is this beautiful statue...it's called "hope", which I thought was sort of wonderful and such a happy sign.
This is a better shot of the statue and the line. I'm about 40 minutes into waiting here and things were pretty festive, another 15 minutes and I was back into the sunshine. I'm almost mourning my lack of television. It's going to be a long night.

Monday, November 03, 2008

"condolences on your sudden promotion"

I've been grinding my brains over my internet connection for two days because the cord wasn't pushed far enough into the jack. I would be suicidal if I wasn't so grateful that it's working again. Almost ruined Nablopomo on the third day. That would have been SAD. I unplugged it so I could completely rearrange my house. The bedroom did a 360 except it wasn't a 360...Matt thinks more like 270. Anyway, it's much better this way but probably not worth almost two days internet-less. And Seth from the phone company was very nice and very not sarcastic when the brevity of the problem was revealed. Bless him.

Meanwhile, my mess is a house. It's awful all the stuff I found that I have no idea what to do with. Is there any reason Matt needs every pay stub he's ever received since 1992? Seriously, no. The minute I accidentally burn them you know he'll be all mad about it, sheesh. I've found keys to cars I no longer own, more pens than any person could ever need in a lifetime, and why so many paper clips...WHY? Office supplies come here to die, that's what I've learned.

So this is my new office/bedroom. Since you never saw the old one maybe you're not that impressed. Just think piles upon toppling piles of pay stubs instead of desk-rific orderliness.

I'm starting on the livingroom/kitchen next. Right now that's where all the piles are living. I could take pictures but children might weep. On the upside the cleaning has provided excellent exercise. I think I pledged and wiped about 6 cats worth of fur. Pledge, wipe, walk to the trash...rinse lather and repeat. My next cat is totally going to be furless, or a poodle. However, pledging the floor has rewards when it comes to furries...absolutely no traction with those tufted paws. You just put a catnip toy at the epicenter of slideyness and it's hours of fun. Provided you walk around in socks and end up in traction yourself.

Sunday, November 02, 2008


Funny that I'm on the dole just in time for NaBloPoMo...no excuses this month. I'm also just drowning in narcissistic reflection so I'm going to try to not make this the most unreadable month of blogging known to man. I'm gonna try real hard, you betcha. Sorry, I've been watching some Palin clips and it's killing me. I'm dying of alaskan colloquialismitis.

In other news, this is my cat fulfilling her life's ambition to turn everything I own white. If I had bought a blue or say a green computer bag she wouldn't look twice at it, but black...black is her favorite. I'm "this" close to dipping her in nair.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

"Oh you mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills?"

This is Matt's breakfast, caramel cinnamon rolls which totally don't need icing but he insists. I made a very large dozen and they're all gone. I might have to break my oven in order to lose any weight while I'm home. Or maybe move it downstairs. On the upside not a single piece of candy was eaten yesterday. 'Course I bought 6 bags in a fit of "oh my god I want trick or treaters" and of course we didn't have a single one. What I'm going to do with the rest of than candy I just don't know. I can slowly feed it to my boyfriend but he's all anti-sugar unless it's been mixed and baked and covered in frosting. A purist he's not.

Yesterday I snapped some photos on my way to mail some resumes. This is a blueberry barren in my hood. See that mountain in the background, that would be my yard. I have some more blueberry pictures, the plants turn with the season just like the trees and the fields are all purple and red and crazy beautiful. More pictures to come.