"Careful, that pony had a lot of water"

The woman called me a guru and then made the choice to go and start running, and then she actually did it. Talk about inspiring. She kicked my ass for sure because the best choice I made yesterday was to not steal the rest of the boyfriends' ice cream and then pretty much only because he's sick and I don't want his germs. Geez, what a show off.

I didn't have a lot of time for exercise because I had to expend all my energy and sanity searching for my damn cellphone. Because I am a moron. I searched the car twice and I made a sick Matt search the car too. I made him call it forty two times even though it was on vibrate. I kept touching things like the dude in The Dead Zone incase I felt the vibrations through solid wood and or from across the room. I searched every item of clothing and finally after torturing Matt "Ok, what did I wear Monday? What about Tuesday? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW!!!" for hours, I found it in the laundry basket. It had fallen out of the clothes I was so very carefully searching, you know, with my eyes closed.

Right now I'm drinking chocolate soymilk and planning my day. I'm very busy. Brood, brood, check the mail, brood, go for a walk at lunch and buy lettuce, brood, have some fat free pudding, more brooding. It's a little like an Angel episode only with daylight and chocolate pudding. It's very boring at work since I got all uppitty and closed down the banter. It might not be readily apparent but I'm a fun girl. One might even say that I'm the life of the party here at work and it's mighty silent of late. One of those deafening silences that leaves bodies in its' wake.

It would be wrong to say I hold a grudge. I don't hold grudges. I snuggle them to my bosom and feed them from a bottle and fashion tiny pink bows for their hair. It's not a very adult way to be, not something I'm particularly proud of, but not something I can vanish in an instant either. I really want to stop being angry because the stress is killing my back. I'm thinking angry kickboxing wasn't the best way to work out my emotions now that my neck is all tight. I've hit up the pilates twice since then and still, OW. I can hear my mother telling me to meditate and seek therapy and also to take aspirin which I never really understood. I think aspirin was her cure all, her apple a day, while mine is pilates so I'm going to keep trying. I believe that very gentle stretching will eventually conquer all. I really think taking up pilates is the best thing I've ever done, for my body and my mind. Just don't tell Ana that I hate her favorite teaser.