you know your hair needs help when your hairdresser phones your place of work while she has laringitis because she's been thinking about your hair and something must be done. you know you look like someone's hapless aunt when you get that call. the aunt with the cat sweatshirts who buys those collectible dolls from the home shopping channel. so tomorrow, if i don't flake and forget, i will be getting a "choppier, funkier" do. the adjective that would best describe my hair right now would be wide. maybe attractivity challenged.
for honesty's sake, and posterity, i've had two milky ways and one m&m peanut pack. but i feel like that shouldn't count because it has peanuts. which have protein. which you need to live. but maybe i'm over thinking it. if you got a call from your stylist and she couldn't live a moment longer knowing your hair existed you'd eat the milky ways too. don't tell me you wouldn't.