10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

it's a very ani week

i am not a pretty girl
that is not what i do
i ain't no damsel in distress
and i don't need to be rescued
so put me down punk
maybe you'd prefer a maiden fair
isn't there a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

i am not an angry girl
but it seems like i've got everyone fooled
every time i say something they find hard to hear
they chalk it up to my anger
and never to their own fear
and imagine you're a girl
just trying to finally come clean
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling

and i am sorry
i am not a maiden fair
and i am not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere

and generally my generation
wouldn't be caught dead working for the man
and generally i agree with them
trouble is you gotta have yourself an alternate plan
and i have earned my disillusionment
i have been working all of my life
and i am a patriot
i have been fighting the good fight
and what if there are no damsels in distress
what if i knew that and i called your bluff?
don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down
whether or not you ever show up

i am not a pretty girl
i don't want to be a pretty girl
no i want to be more than a pretty girl

an old friend from highschool is getting married. i'm sure i should be pleased for her, and in the case that that is what she's always wanted and she's getting it, i am. but it's hard for me to be happy for people getting married just so they can say they got married. i can't deny that a public statement that someone wants you is a powerful thing. a needed thing for many people, of both sexes. in the case with this girl, she never felt pretty enough, good enough on her own. she always wanted a boyfriend. and she didn't have one all through highschool. it's like she went to college with two goals, get a boyfriend and then a degree. she got a boyfriend, dated him on and off for 7 years and now she's marrying him.

i am the only one to think that's kind of sad. i couldn't settle for an on again off again marriage and divorce in the long run. but then i don't want to be married. matt would do whatever i wanted. if i wanted him to marry me more than anything else, he would. but then i'd have to stand in front of a bunch of people while they pick apart my dress and my flowers and my table arrangements (i know exactly how much his family would hate my "dream wedding"). i have a blender already, i don't need a wedding. and i can have people over to critique my place settings for a lot less money. but i accept that that's just me.


Kyra said...

I've watched those types of marriages fall apart. Honestly, I think that most people get married just to do it, not for the marriage itself. hence, the high divorce rate. Go figure.

I married my husband, because we were meant to be together, not for the wedding. If I could do it over, I would spend every dime on a vacation to somewhere like Jamaica, and get married on the beach just the two of us. Afterall, the marriage itself is just between you two for the rest of your lives, why start it off with the big wedding (which I had, and it was beautiful, don't get me wrong). That was a mistake back then - a wedding is for everyone else, not for you. A marriage is just for the two people involved.

Jennette Fulda said...

Two words: Vegas, baby.

Amy said...

we keep saying "have you met so and so's first husband?". it sucks when you can see where something is going to end and they can't. and the in-laws hate her, they sit together and tell him he can do better with her right there. this is not an easy road she is choosing.