10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

"The shaking is a side effect of the fear."

you ever have a hungry day? when you could eat all the oatmeal in the world and you'd still be like mmm, yogurt. i'm so having a yogurt when this post is done. and then maybe a cheese stick. since i changed the way i eat hunger is a very different feeling. i used to get all dizzy and sick when i was hungry and i just never realized that that wasn't really hunger. taking better care of myself so this doesn't happen has given me a new experience of hunger. which i assume is more like the experience of others (and wow do i want to expound about how everyone's frame of reference blah blah blah because i'm reading this book with a psychologist in it and it reminds me of my mom and she would have loved to expound with me) when they feel hunger.

imagine living 25 years and not knowing hunger, mostly because by the time i got there i was half concious. why did i never see a doctor, no idea. it's totally better now. i'm sort of re-learning how to deal with hunger. you know, in a rational how many fingers kind of way. there's something particularly satisfying about feeling hungry lately, and eating something appropriate to stave off the hunger. this is dumb but it feels like a job well done. like gold star, good doggy, A+. this is the place to come when you feel like a dork right? to write about how having sandwich when you're hungry gets you on the dean's list of healthy living. it's just what i've been thinking about today. being in control and liking it. and now, since i compared myself to a dog graduating with honors i think i'll leave it there. no way i can top that imagery, not with the massive snacking i have pencilled in.


MayQueen said...

Ever since I started my new job I've been hungry every day like I used to get in school and it makes me wonder how the hell I ever had the energy to learn anything after 9:30am.

Amy said...

it's no wonder, your day starts so early you burn up all your breakfast before then.