10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Friday, August 18, 2006

blessed are the forgetful for they get the better even of their blunders

does looking at the clock ever make you hungry. i keep thinking, gee it's almost lunchtime, i must be hungry. like i'm ticking off hours till it's ok to eat again. that's healthy. speaking of which, i just noticed that i've been drinking mold.* it's been a big day here and i can't wait for it to end. this weekd has sucked. yesterday i took in five cat piss soaked checks. now, i looked at my boss and i gave her the "do i have to take these" face and she started talking to the customer so i assumed that yes, i had to take those. and today she says "we don't have to accept anything we don't want to". well shit, if that was the policy why did you let me touch five soaked in cat piss and still very wet checks. for the love of humanity, if your cat ever pees on a months worth of paychecks do me a favor and dry the bastards out before you bring them to the damn bank. direct deposit is beautiful in a whole new way for me now.

and not that you all care about banking, but the five dollar bill situation is making my life hard and my need to find another ben and jerry's milkshake very great indeed. we're running out of fives and you'd think it was the end of the fucking world. if you're not a customer of my bank, i don't have to make change for you. and if you're an asshole, i REALLY don't have to make change for you. even if you're a customer and you work for a business that doesn't bank here, i don't have to give you fives. if you take your deposits someplace else get your change there. i don't care if you're the post office, or you work nextdoor, if you don't have an account here don't give me shit because you have to walk two blocks to get your damn change. if i don't have it, i cannot give it to you. it's that simple. and it may not seem like a big deal, but we actually have to pay to get change. we do this for our customers because they are our customers and we want them to be happy. your national bank having happiness i care not a shit about.

sorry about the rant, i'm going crazy and what therapy is cheaper than a blog? and it has less calories than that shake. i have the feeling that if the shaw's flyers aren't in the post office boxes today i might snap. they call it going postal for a reason, that place is like the bermuda triangle of fuckedupedness. maybe i'll walk to our competitors and barter fives for my sales flyers. black market bills. (if i don't stop now i'll delve into a trenchcoat and brimmed hat fantasy and whoa would that ever stick out in the archives as the day i officially lost my shit. wouldn't want to be obvious...).

*trust me that further explanation will not be appreciated.


Rebecca said...

i have such new appreciation for bank tellers...

have you ever waitressed?

if so, would you rank it as being that sucky?

damn...i hated waitressig but i think everyone should do it just once in their life!

Amy said...

i never did, i wish i had now that i live here. they make serious bank here if they're any good. but i'm sure their lives are hell dealing with these assholes.

Jennette Fulda said...

Well, if you did lose your shit you could just blame it on the cat piss fumes and all that mold you've been drinking. You've obviously been poisoned and cannnot be held responsible for your actions.

Wendell said...

Yes - looking at the clock makes me hungry but pretty much everything does. Typing the word hungry, for instance. Sorry you drank mold and had to deal with cat piss - there really isn't a worse smelling substance. I waited tables for a while, but I sucked at it. I think you have to not hate people to be any good, or at least be good at pretending.

Amy said...

it's hard not to hate people.