"Did the corporation once touch you in a place that made you uncomfortable?"

So, I've been too busy to really put any time into blogging.  I've been shopping way too much for one, and I got a haircut that requires a lot of straightening, Jolie pup had her annual exam and Knox has an ear ache. There's a lot going on.  Especially with the hair thing.  It's a little short.  I'll post pictures later but yeah it's a little short and a little wide, like a house trailer, when I don't spend 12 hours straightening it.

My job is a little crazy too.  It's only part time but they're training me like I run a nuclear power plant or something and apparently you have to wear nylons while running a nuclear power plant or EVERYONE DIES!  I really hate nylons.  Or panty hose, which is the word they used when they explained the dress code to me...slowing with small words.  I think panty hose must be the worst phrase in the history of ever, let alone the worst product.  I'm doing my best to flout the system with brightly colored and obnoxious tights, and very short skirts to go with them.  Also kickass shoes, because that's how I roll now.

"The company feels that if we ease up because someone dies, it will only encourage other people to die."

My sister recently learned that she is pre-diabetic.  It was something we expected because she had pre-natal diabetes three times and hasn't been any more successful than me in becoming a supermodel since.  Now that it it official and she has a sincere desire to keep her feet she's trying really hard to get to the gym.  So, I want to encourage her the most I can.  I gave her all my tips, for as much as that is worth, and I want to get her a special water bottle.  Why a water bottle? because she doesn't drink enough water and it's kind of important, at least in my book.

I want to make her a customized Sigg bottle that says something like "My sister is awesome" heh heh.  Actually, I'm stuck on what to write on it exactly.  Something motivating, without profanity because Handing Diabetes it's Ass!  while probably awesome she'd probably never use because her kids would read it and say it at school and get detention and then she'd miss her gym hour.  Do you have a great idea?  Let me know in the comments and if I choose to use your totally awesome catchphrase on her bottle, I'll mail you your very own personalized Sigg!  So, WOW me with your suggestions and help us all get motivated to shake our booties!

"Uh, twice a week after work, I put on a totally realistic bear costume and hang out in the park."

In the same day I saw a beautiful bald eagle soaring above the ocean and a cyclist smoking.  Not just a guy on a bike going to pick up a six pack, a genuine spandex wearing cyclist lighting up in a national park.  Weird, weird, weird.  Well, not so much weird as anachronistic.  Is that the right word?  Spellcheck didn't give me the underline of shame so I guess it's ok.

I'm making an effort to get my blog on.  I haven't been managing my time very well.  Actually, maybe I just don't have enough time.  After work and walking and gardening and cooking we have dinner around 8.  And then we go to bed.  Everything in the garden is ripening at once and we have a lot of harvesting to do.  We have a slew of baby pumpkins and one butternut squash I hope will make it into the fall.  The tomatoes are all green and plump and ready to ripen any day now.  We have been seriously drowning in snap peas and green beans and I've been eating stir fry like it's going out of style and now the zucchini are taking over.

Everyone else has been handing me zucchini for weeks and ours are now at that stage where they're cute and adorable one minute and the incredible zucchini hulk the next.  I have some chocolate zucchini cake recipes that are enticing and the words zucchini and relish keep popping up.  I personally hate zucchini relish but I relish using up the zucchini in a suzy homemaker way so that might be the way I go.

"Friendship. It's the same as stealing."

So many people checked in yesterday, what did you forget it was a holiday?  The one where you're supposed to celebrate a year of industry by eating charred meat and jello salad?  What were all you people doing online?  Don't you care about the jello salad?  Have you no humanity?

I don't know where that came from.  I think it's a sugar rush.  I had a cinnamon roll for breakfast and I think I might be tripping.  How much sugar do you need to eat before it's lsd.  Is there a rule for that, like switching out applesauce for oil in a weight watchers cake recipe?  Unless it's the runner's high from this morning's run.  I wouldn't say it was my longest run ever you know but I hit an endorfin place at a really good point and it was awesome.  And I'm wearing purple leggings to work today so yay for color.  I guess I'm just in a really good mood this morning.  I didn't lose my doggies on our walk and I'm watching a cute french movie on netflix.

Jolie is curled up on two pillows so Knox has to sleep on the floor.  I wonder if she thinks about how many pillows she'd like to sleep on or if it's an accident of pillow location.  Knox used to move pillows around for the best advantage but he doesn't do it lately and I wonder if Jo has become queen of the pillows and is now in charge of all pillow usage.  These are the things I think about.  I like to imagine their dog hierarchy like a married couple, I imagine they argue over the remote and chicken pot pie.  I've got to get out more.

"Running just annoys them."

Sometimes I look at my blog and I think, wow...it's been that long since I blogged?  and then i think wow, nothing has happened at all that anyone would want to blog about, or read about.  Working part-time is a full time job.  seriously.  I must have a serious time management problem because I get nothing done.  The house just barely runs with enough clean dishes and laundry and groceries.  The dogs get walked at what we would consider a minimum at only 1 to 1.5 hours a day.

What do I have to talk about?  Recently we started watching White Collar and I decided I love the casting department for that show.  All of the women are beautiful and round and while they're not fat by any normal standard...they aren't skinny with bones sticking out hither and thither.  It's pretty awesome to see curvy sexy women on tv who aren't starving themselves.

I've been trying to make the most of my body the way it is and I've been dressing completely differently.  I've been wearing a lot of dresses and skirts and seriously I never knew how easy it was to wear dresses.
I have always been weary of wearing dresses and skirts and now that I am an adult I have no idea why.  Lately it's been all dresses and boots and it must work for me because I spend half my time tallying up admiring gazes.  Good for the self esteem.

Puppies where they belong, safe in the house making a mess of the bed.  

"it's like dog racism"

My sister goes back to Prague this week so this weekend was my last cross New England drive to sit and watch reality tv and eat too much at the family homestead.  There is a certain relief although I'll miss all the fun we have together doing nothing.  This weekend was kind of not the best because I've had to pick up extra hours at work and I have some kind of terrible summer cold and my other sister's kids are on crack oh and also my baby got attacked by a pit bull.

I suppose technically if he was really attacked he'd be dead but I don't have a better adjective.  And I don't want to be the person that says all the pit bulls in the world are evil because this one owner is a moron but holy shit it was scary.  We always walk our dogs on leash away from home because I could not deal if something happened and my woofs got lost.  Not at all.  So we're very diligent about being on leash and screaming at the children to CLOSE THE DOOR, NOW!  NO, NOW!

We were walking on leash behind my dads house where we always walk and we never see anyone, not even the very often off leash cocker spaniel who lives next door and frequents the same path.  We turned up toward the college and we saw a guy walking one dog off leash...so we went the other way.  Why ask for trouble?  So we're on the path and begging the dogs to transact their business and all of a sudden thunder paws from down the dirt road and whooze and yelp and there is a very large pit bull with his very large mouth on Knox's neck.  Knox's instinct must be to play dead because he threw himself to the ground in the face of this scary ass dog.  Matt was able to grab that dog by it's collar and pull it off but then he had that dog and knox's leash all tied up, when the other two smaller pit bulls arrived.  And they were fine, they didn't growl or bark or even get close to us before their owner arrived but we didn't know that situation would continue.  The owner comes pounding after them and is obviously terrified that our dog is hurt and I don't know if that's because this has happened before or because it hasn't, but he did say that the big one is the only that's "like that" so it strikes me he knows there's a problem there and still had him off leash.  I feel for the guy because those were strong dogs that need a good run in the woods and the smaller two were fine.  He's clearly not an altogether bad owner but if my dad's wasp neighborhood ever hear there were three unleashed pits back there they will have a collective wasp style cow.

The two smaller pit bulls were fine and even Jolie said hello to them while he got them all on leash.  And the big one submitted to the owner immediately but whoa, it was altogether unpleasant.  I don't want to be one of those people who blames a breed because it could have been any kind of dog with (let's assume) a history of that behavior but the dude should have had that particular dog on a leash.  I didn't tell my dad because damn, he hates pit bulls for no other reason than he heard he was supposed to on the news one time.  My sister reacted similarly but she's only been bitten once and it was by a pomeranian (to no one's surprise).

It was something I knew could happen, either with an off leash dog or at a dog park but I was completely unprepared for actually happening.  We've watched enough dog whisperer to not freak out and start screaming and escalate things and hopefully that helped.  And hopefully we'll be more prepared for the unexpected next time.

"Well, what if the baby killed a man?"

I haven't been blogging.  I try to find the time and seriously I'm no that busy but somehow the interwebs just fall by the wayside.  I've been running a lot lately.  I've had to rebuild some of my running stamina but I was pretty proud of my morning and evening runs.  See that, TWO episodes of running.  Spastic as I know they were, I still feel accomplished.  Every bit of running or walking is not time spent eating cookies so that's positive.

Lately I've been spending most of my time working and the rest of it working on myself.  I have been trying to work on boundaries especially with obligations, especially with matt's family obligations.  I have some issues to work out there and I'm trying to work them out without making things worse but also without spending the rest of my life doing things I don't want to do with people I don't want to be with.  It's kind of hard and there isn't a whole lot of understanding.  And maybe there shouldn't be, maybe it's wrong to distance yourself from situations like that but what we have going on is not working and I'm reaching that point in my life where I don't want to put up with things that don't work for me.  I guess I'm realizing that I don't have to put up with things that don't work for me and that I never did but I was too young or something to know that.

I suppose it's never too late to start living your life for real, instead of just going through the motions.  I know I'm not the only person reaching that point, PQ moving because she wanted to and Rebecca starting an exciting new career and I'm sure many of you are reaching a crossroads too.  Where are we all going, whither are we bound?  Who knows eh, excited to see where the road goes though...

another pound hits the dust!

I've decided that that pound is gone forever so I put it up on the title bar.  I'm at training today and tomorrow and it sucks hard.  Seriously.  But I'm trying real hard to be a grown up and do the corporate thing and not make enemies or burn bridges with my cynicism.  Trying REAL hard.  I did get some shopping in though, so that's good.  I got some black slouchy cowboy boots to match the brown ones I already have...because I love the crap out of them and I wear the crap out of them which I never thought I would.  I would not have called myself a cowboy boot person but it seems that I am and I have been wearing them to work which may or may not be dress code but no one mentioned anything today at training.

I have to admit I feel chic when I wear them.  I like them with casual skirts and dresses and business skirts too.  I've been wearing wide leather belts Deschanel sisters style because it's supposed to give people the impression that I have hips...which is a good thing.  Course when I wear them every day it's less of a fashion statement and more like a uniform.  To be even more tv gorgeous I bought a Mrs. Harris dress today because there is no gorgeous like Joan gorgeous.  I'll get some pics when I have a chance.

The hotel where I'm staying is dog friendly and there's a storm tonight, the woof staying next door is seriously freaked out and it's breaking my heart.  It's making me miss my pups but I've got to say it's nice to have no responsibilities for an evening except shopping and eating.  Not so great for that one pound loss but I made good choices and I have a ton leftover...good thing my suite has a fridge!

"Diversity--just the thought of it makes these white people smile."

So, New Hampshire was fun and now I am tired.  And the doggies are even tireder.  We went to a flea market where I got no bargains and some horrible old man told me I'm abusing Jolie because she wears a collar and it strains her neck when she's trying to kill a Doberman Pinscher.  Yes.  I'm abusing my dog because she pulls when she's behaving badly.  Uh huh.  Thanks old white man, your opinion like all those of your kind, is IRREFUTABLE.  It was weird.

"Maybe I'm too funny. Maybe I was joking about not getting your joke."

Well, geez.  This is gross.  Gap, shame on you dudes.  As if 20 dollar tank tops wasn't annoying enough now we're not good enough to wear 60 dollar shorts.  Maybe I'm focusing on the money because I'm feeling broke lately.  I think it relates to getting paid.  Getting paid in theory is way more exciting than getting paid in reality because when we get paid in reality we also have to pay bills in reality and we can't spend all that pretend money at zappos on black knee boots because I'm just not in the right profession to make that profitable.  

On the other hand, I have made quite an impression on some of my former customers because there have been exclamations at seeing me back at work.  Burly adult men who work very hard at very hard jobs like lobster fishing and logging are giddy at the sight of me.  What does that mean?  Maybe I should re-evaluate my wardrobe.  

I might be spending my weekend in new hampshire but I'm seriously hoping my sister is otherwise engaged and I can spend the weekend home alone doing laundry.  Laundry sounds awesome.  Visiting my sister is awesome too but laundry and getting ahead at home sounds so great.  What also sounds great is not getting set back a few pounds by eating out and sitting around at my dad's hanging out.  I'd really like a break to keep moving forward or downward or whatever.  Some time and space alone to work and walk doggies and just get balanced would be amazing.  But geez, the girl only visits once a year and I have to take advantage of that and stop whining because the pounds to lose are many and the sisters are few.  

"My door is always opened for you. Please, close it in your way out."

Wow, I've been really busy lately.  I'm actually really busy right now.  I have to take puppy to get her hips checked before work and walk the dogs and shower and put on clothes and whoa I have zero time for blogging but I just bought shoes and now here i am typing.  more and more shoes from zappos.  I am having a footwear love affair lately, particularly with some cowboy boots I got from marshalls which I wear with everything.  Why I would need more shoes when I wear those boots every day...but I soldier on with my shopping...

my question was up at blogher and I screwed it up

I know, the link doesn't work.  My internet was down and I can't check these things at work so yeah, it fell into a black hole.  My question was "what would you give up to be green?" and I still don't know what anyone said because i can't figure out where it is.  That's what an awesome blogger I am.  


What would I give up?  It's a hard question given how little we have to actually give up.  When the power goes out is when I realize how very much I depend on electricity so that's the one thing I try to be conscious of when I use it.  We've been working extra hard to keep lights off and make the most of the long hours of sunlight.  I keep all my electronics on strips with on/off switches and turn them off at night and during the day when we're not home.  It's a pain in the butt turning every thing off but it saves resources and dollars on the bill.  


In the way of things I actually give up, hmm I try really hard not to use plastic bags or buy bottled water.  We use rain water to water our plants and give our well a break.  A commenter is giving up paper towels which is awesome.  We use paper napkins and I try really hard to use towels to clean up spills (which allows me to buy all the adorable cupcake printed towels i see) but my boyfriend loves paper so we're working on that.

"Did the corporation once touch you in a place that made you uncomfortable?"

Working part time is kicking my ass.  My house is a mess and my blog is sad and lonely.  My dogs are taking it ok only because I am giving them every last minute of my time and lots of treats.  Matt is getting lots of treats too, to keep him so sugar high he doesn't notice that there aren't any more clean glasses...or spoons.  We go through a ridiculous number of spoons, I have no explanation for it.

I'm having a hard time packing the right things for lunch.  Yogurt and granola are awesome and veggies from our garden, but I also keep bits of chocolate in my lunch bag and super pretzels in the freezer.  In my past life I had a very strict routine but the hours are different now and I have to rearrange it.  Today I have margherita pizza I made last night for dinner and apple sauce I found in my cupboard.  It's all about finding stuff in my cupboards lately when I need to do some more planning.  Gotta make some time for grocery shopping.

"When you think about it, shouldn't you be thanking us for making mistakes?"

So far, the job is exactly like it was before.  I spend the hard hours reminding myself to be a drone.  Drones don't worry about shit, they just feed the queen and then die so that's my goal.  Not to worry about shit.  Also, to drink more water.  I like to keep my goals small.

Anyway, so it's been a while.  There is just not enough time for blogging and nothing to blog about because the new job is just not that exciting.  I did have an interesting day with a young, young co-worker who was shocked that a customer was dressed fashionably, she kept saying "she looked like she was from France" like it was a bad thing.  It is NOT ok to be different, have to keep remembering that.

So, err, weight wise I'm doing really well.  Mostly because I've been sick.  I didn't drink enough water last weekend or any of the other days and I seriously dehydrated myself.  Nausea, vomiting, unconsciousness...the whole deal.  I have four bottles of water packed for today and I'm determined to get my shit together in that area.  Not making myself sick is a priority if nothing else is.

"X-rays show that when people work together, they're happier and less likely to do something weird."

I have been busy.  Which is novel.  I officially started my job today and it was exactly as anti-climatic as I thought it would be.  I liked my new shirt though.  That was the best part.  My old boss is training me, which is weird.  Not bad, I mean I know her so it's not like trying to meet the expectations of someone new. Anyway, I've been busy and I have nothing new to report really.  I didn't gain any weight on my vacation but I made up for that at my dad's birthday party.  It wasn't so bad really, just a pound.  I never drink as much water as I should at my sister's and it was hot and we were busy.

I'm sure I have more to say but I have a ton of catching up to do at home, you wouldn't believe the dishes.

"I've never been so sure about being unsure of anything in my life."

Tomorrow I am taking a tiny vacation and I'm so happy I got a job and the timing is perfect.  If I had not got a job at this exact time of the summer I would not be able to go to canada with my college friend and get massages, which is the best vacation idea ever.  Massages and meals are literally the only plans we have and that's awesome.  I'm packing my pilates mat, so I can do pilates without a fur buddy and I'm packing running things so I can go for a run all by myself.  I'm pretty excited about it actually.

I have one thousand things to bake today and then tomorrow we're gone till wednesday.  Have a good week!

"Oh, man, this lie has spread like mayonnaise at a Baptist picnic."

This week is one of the last weeks that I'm not working.  One might call it a vacation of sorts.  I've been sitting around my house doing whatever I want for months and now that seemingly endless expanse of free time is coming to a close and I have to start thinking of this time as a last meal of sorts.  I have a few things planned, a birthday party for my dad and a short trip to Canada that hasn't been completely sorted out.  So far I've been spending my time exactly as I have been for months, sitting around, walking my dogs, cooking and cleaning and that has to stop now.

I have officially gone from unemployed slacker to person watching clock run down before starting serious job.  Unfortunately it is ridiculously hot so my plans are kind of, uhm, centered around avoiding heat stroke.  I hate this feeling that I have time I'm not doing the most with and I know that will eat at me when I'm sitting in boring ass training for DAYS before I start boring job.  I have a lot of things to pack in to the next two weeks and a lot of emotional preparation to do before starting this job.

In not so simple terms I have worked this job before and I know exactly what is expected of me.  This is both good and bad.  The good is that I know I can do the bad is that I don't really want to but I can, I just have to put my brain in a box.  It's that kind of job.  I'll work on my novel, or uhh, my manicure.  It'll be fine.  Better to be bored with pay than bored at home for nada.

"At Veridian Dynamics, we can even make radishes so spicy that people can't eat them, but we're not, because people can't eat them."

Yesterday I got an offer of a job that pays money so we celebrated by going to the grocery store.  Also, we really needed groceries.  I splurged in the peanut butter aisle and got some natural peanut butter with flaxseed.  Unfortunately I got the chunky, which I hate, so my taste test isn't as unbiased as it could be but I can't taste anything one wouldn't want to taste in their peanut butter.  So yay for that!  I checked the calories and nutrition benefits at the store and I saw they were all the same but maybe I wasn't giving it my whole attention because the internet pinky swears that the flaxseed version has less calories.  As long as it isn't more calories I'm down with it.

Apparently flaxseed oil is a wonder miracle food that I didn't know about until just now.  Google told me it helps with everything, weightloss and pms and apparently it can make you see colors more vividly.  It's the wizard of oz of health foods.  I call it a splurge but it was only about ten cents more per jar, which I can afford now that I'm employed.  I just have to figure out what to do with a whole jar of chunky peanut butter...the dogs seem to like it.

I didn't expect new peanut butter to be on the top of the list of things I will do when I have money again but so it was.  That is where we are, getting excited about peanut butter.  The mental list of splurges and plans of things I want to do when I got a job is pretty long.  Most of the things on it are silly and small, like buying a new box of Greenies for the dogs.  I have to buy some new clothes for the job because I have to dress a certain way and Matt's calling on a bulldozer he saw in Uncle Henry's.  We're going wild and crazy with our moderate amount of income.

"like a god, but it hurts more when he judges us"

It is too hot.  The blueberries are blueing early, the wild raspberries are off the hook and we already have big ass bear tracks on our running path.  And it's too hot.  The dogs are tired all day and so am I.  I have never looked forward to shoveling snow so much.  We get one decent walk/run in the morning and today it was awful.  Humid and hot and waiting for rain storms.  On the upside it's way too hot to eat.

It's been a salad and yet more salad kind of a weekend.  And I made sweet tea, which was a mistake.  It was a tasty, tasty mistake, but now I want to make more.  I suppose if I make not so sweet tea it would be alright.  Almost sweet tea.  Not that sweet at all tea.  Something like that.  Whoops!  I went and made regular sweet tea already.  It's gotta be the heat stroke!