10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

not sure what she needs the mace for...

"stop picking at that it'll just get worse"

I'm making my arrangements for blogher. It is killing me. I am dying over spending money to fly in an airplane and stay in a hotel and meet people. DYING. But I really want to go and this is the year of doing Amy things even if it does mean we're broke. Matt suggested we save 50 bucks a week and then I'll be all set. The food budget is also 50 dollars a week. So, obviously I'm going to be very skinny by july and matt will be dead so then I'll have his life insurance money and what a brilliant plan! Or I could get a job.

Actually I have another job meeting tomorrow and there are some really good prospects coming up. This is why I had to purchase some clothes that aren't falling apart. The job I'm meeting about is a casual assistant type job but probably not a jeans with holes in it type job. I've applied for some other part time office positions and I'm signed up with the temp agency...I'll have you know I type 73 words per minute. I didn't know anyone cared about typing speed anymore, it seems so 1960 to strive for typing speed. I have vague memories of my brother taking a typing course but I can't remember why...do you need to type well to work at Wendy's?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

too much snow

The loose powder on top of the three feet of packed snow is now almost three feet deep which means that the snow is now taller than me. I tried snowshoeing but I kept tipping over...so I trudged a path up the hill for puppy and I to take our walks. IT WAS AWFUL. Very much like quicksand but colder. I fell in up to my arms at least twice...good for the arm muscles bad when the puppy eats your head. The whole walk was excellent cardio, I don't think I've ever felt my heart beat that fast before. We're going up again this afternoon when the pup wakes up from his nap.

I bought some clothes today. I am almost at the anniversary of leaving the bank and starting that stinky job and that was the last time I bought a pair of jeans. Those jeans still fit but they're getting worn so I cashed in my discover points and I ordered a few pairs. I ordered from American Eagle who have the best fit for my size and are all on sale for under 30 bucks...and I ordered from the Gap because sometimes I get lucky with their cuts. The big decision will be when they arrive because I don't need more than one pair in this size. A few weeks ago I bought a skirt from the Gap for 3 bucks which I just loved...in a size 14. I told myself that I was only buying the 14 because it was really cute and cheap but the truth is that if it was a 12 I'd have left the store empty handed. I'm pushing the edges of my safety size and it's not a good thing. It's a bad thing, a very bad thing. It's terrible when your clothes betray you.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Because the right to drive your atv to Denny's is not written in the constitution

I love this man, the state of maine can take their right of way and eat it.

"I can't eat plain ass vegetables all day, I'll get weak and die."

I am drinking a soda because my throat hurts. My throat hurts because I've been hollering in despair because the animals are fighting. I am feeling like a very bad person on both counts. I'm not actually yelling at them, but me wailing turns their attention. I just locked them both in the bedroom to figure it out for themselves. Very bad person. Actually it worked, I think I shocked them into submission...for the time being anyway. I'm a little argh today because the power has been out all day and all last night. It's not so much the fact that the power is out it's the possibility of the waterline freezing again that I can't stand...but that didn't happen. None of the food defrosted and became trash. No frozen limbs fell on house or car. I missed an appointment at a temp agency which is unfortunate but not the end of the world, it was certainly better to miss it than to show up unshowered.

Every year I think about going to blogher and every year I don't and now that I have exactly no money I think I'm actually going to go. Time always seems to be a problem, and getting off work is a problem and I decided that as my own boss I would grant myself the time off. If I start selling my plasma now I should be flush by july. This is one of the reasons I'm so looking forward to temp work rather than a regular job...just the tiniest bit more flexible. At least in my head if not in actual fact.

Anyway, damn. This day has been awful. Who knew that doing nothing but read a book all day could knock you on your ass. I should have made that drink a rum and coke, seriously.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Friday, February 20, 2009

rolo brownies

When I was a kid my best friend loved Rolos. Rolos and twizzlers were the sleepover candies of choice. Twizzler brownies would be beyond disgusting so...caramel. They're pretty damn good.

"trust me, a bakery is virtually impossible to run without drug money."

There is some debate as to whether hiking through snow or snowshoeing burns more calories. Snowshoeing burns about 10 calories a minute, I have no such info on snow hiking except to say that I felt equally if not more sweaty after today's hike. We got about 2 feet of soft snow on top of our trail and it's now completely invisible. Why is that important, well it isn't except that every once in a while I stepped on a soft spot and ended up in snow up to my ass. Which is annoying, as per previous post. I've gotten stuck in the snow a few times, once wearing Matt's boots with no socks and I could not get the damn boot out of the snow so I had to walk back to the house half barefoot and he had to get an axe and dig his boot out. Poor boyfriend, no rest for the weary. Also, a personal lesson for the masses, always wear socks because you never know when you'll have to go all survivor man in your backyard.

In other news, I'm baking brownies today with caramel centers. This is one of those times when you're not sure if you want the recipe to work or not because it could be devastating either way. They're for a birthday party I can't afford a present for. Calories, the gift that keeps on giving. I'm doing a similar thing for my sister's birthday only with marshmallow and coconut, apparently it's like a bounty bar but in a cake...how could she not be thrilled? South beach be damned.

I'm going to try and visit my sister with both the cake and the puppy which should be interesting. One of them will have to be in the trunk. She's graciously allowing us to stay with her because my dad will have a cardiac event if puppy sets paw in his house. He's always telling me about the dog that followed him into church when he was an alter boy and the one that knew his paper route better than he did but he's a bit too into his possessions to have a furry running off with them. Not that I blame him, it's just a situation to avoid. Since I might be of the employed soon I need to start using my time to my advantage and get my visiting on. I'm really very busy for a lay-a-bout.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Frankly I'm annoyed

I am right now looking at the Bangor Rye Rolls that I bought Saturday which have developed white mold sometime between this morning and 3 this afternoon. It's very upsetting. Essentially I paid 2.99 for one sandwich roll. And this is why you take no prisoners when it comes to using the freezer because I seriously can't afford to lose 5 out of 6 rolls. Now that I have gotten that out of the way, Valentine's day went very well. The pizza came out the cake came out the cinnamon rolls definitely came out, it was a very carbfull weekend.

There have been a few interesting things going on around here. One, it seems you can't license your dog at the town office. No, you can show up at the town office and the woman on the cell phone will eventually tell you that you could register your car here but you can't register your dog, you have to drive to the town clerk's house. Who knew? Anyway, that's insane so I have an appointment with the town clerk at the actual town office to spend 6 whole dollars licensing my dog. It can't be worth it, it just can't.

What else has been going on...oh, I might have a really cool job. I definitely have some cool writing opportunities and I'm definitely making some strides in cooking healthy food for myself. I have made two decisions regarding cooking in my house. First, I'm switching to green tea. I used to drink only green when I was doing my very best at this so I'm switching back. And then I'm going to start serving soup with every meal. Broth based soups before a meal are supposed to be the bomb so that's what I'm going to do. I have a few really good soup recipes I've been using but pretty much you can put whatever you have around in the pot and there's no waste and it's always tasty. Two things I'm going to try to do, two little things that I feel really good about. That and registering the dog...

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Valentine's Day 2009

Obviously this year we aren't going to be celebrating valentine's day with roses and dinner out and champagne. My valentine's day surprise from Matt is another year's worth of Martha Stewart Living and his present will be slavish devotion and copious amounts of heart shaped food. Technically we're going out friday night as a sort of a business dinner regarding that job proposal thing so Saturday really has to be on budget. In other years I would have considered filet mignon...this year I'm thinking pizza...but shaped like a heart...obviously...unless I find a hidden steak in the freezer because nothing says love like frozen beef.

I think the pizza will be fun and the right dinner for a night doing boyfriend things like watching Smokey and the Bandit and eating popcorn with too much butter. Dessert however is the star of the evening and will probably be a flourless chocolate cake. It's been ages since I've made one and they're yummy and decadent and should put a gold star on our valentine's day without me having to buy anything we don't already have. Are you having a thrifty valentine's day too? What are your plans?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

"I'm beginning to feel like a potted plant."

Lately I've been trying to understand more about my small town so Knox and I have been taking walks "downtown". There isn't really a downtown, there's a post office which isn't actually in my town and a town hall. The road is quieter and it was especially warm today so we went for a long walk. During what should have been the middle of our walk today I saw a truck back directly into my car. There was a loud bump and the car shook. And then the truck started to drive away. Knox and I ran and waved at the truck and he backed up. He rolled down his window and asked me why I was motioning him. Why indeed? There isn't much damage, just a crack to the light cover. I was probably a little more upset than I should have been. It's possible that I freaked on this old man a little bit but how in the world could he not feel something that I saw from 20 yards away?

I called Matt and he said he could fix it with glue and it's no big deal and I'm sure he's right and I know my car is a piece of shit really but it's the only one I have and I can't replace it. I think that's what was so shocking as I drove home, the thing that made me almost cry, how trapped I am right now. It used to be that if something happened to my car it would force my hand to buy a new one, now if something happened to my car I'd be screwed. I don't like how that feels and I especially don't like how it made me holler at an old man with a combat wound veteran plate. He probably didn't deserve my freak out. I'll have to write him a letter, send him some brownies.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"just a flesh wound"

Puppy survived his neutering. Actually, he passed with flying colors. He didn't even notice that I left and was thrilled to see me when I got there. He is already back to his old self, barking at the kitty, working for treats, licking the memory of his manhood. Actually I have to call them later, they gave him a bath and his whites have never been so white! Matt suggested they used bleach but somehow I doubt it.

I have another meeting about a job. A part time job that could be really fun but little money. It's good timing because my friend has just asked me if I'd like to share a super cheap office space in ellsworth. I'd really like to but practically I might have to work all those part time hours just to pay the rent there and if we sign a lease then I would be a bit trapped financially. Unless having an office to work in is the be all end all of productivity for me. There are lots of things to think about.

Friday, February 06, 2009

"bred for looks"

There is an evil woman in ellsworth, a woman who suggested my dog was bred to be stupid and is also "delicate". I think she's the one who was bred to be stupid, not that I'm defensive about my puppy or anything. I called Matt right away to complain to him and he was mad too, so the outrage is helping us bond. He was house broken at 8 weeks, he sits, lays, stays and comes when called EVERY SINGLE TIME, you and your over bred labrador can bite me. His only problem in the whole world is barking at the cat and sometimes she deserves it so that one is a tricky call. Long story short I'm sensitive about my dog and that woman was a ho.

In other news, since I had to give up running for the winter I've been kicking some snow shoeing ass. We have more than three feet of snow, daunting for both me and puppy to hike in so we've taken up snow shoeing. We have a pretty nicely packed trail now, he is able to bound back and forth along the trail and thanks to some rain a few storms back he can walk on most of the snow without snow shoes of his own. Making the trail is kicking my ass, we're both beat by the time we get home. We push forward a little more every day and now we have about 2 miles of snow track.

I am grateful to my unemployment for the time to take up snowshoeing and the puppy to accompany me. This time has been really awesome in a lot of ways. I'm learning a lot about myself and what I really need to be happy. I'm spending time on my resumes and some of them will be worthwhile jobs if I were to get them but being home is good for me too. There are so many things I've always wanted to do and never made the time and now I'm making the time for the things I am able to do and it's really good for me.

I've been watching the last project runway, what 2 years after it aired?...and I'm thinking about taking my sewing into clothing. I made a few pieces in high school, looking back I chose ridiculously hard things that didn't inspire me to keep going. The nightgowns I made for the kids were very easy and quick and there's no reason I can't try to make more of my own clothes. There are times when I see a perfect skirt or dress and think "if it was only like this..." I have nothing to lose by trying so that's my next goal. I've made a few more quilts and my seams keep getting better. I'm working on a new large quilt for our room and then I'm on to clothes...unless I get a job in the meantime.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

nanny state fanny state

Apparently it's a big deal that facebook has ads for weightloss gimmicks. How shocking! People trying to make money off other people's insecurities! No other company ever did that! It's ironic that I just read an article about how terrible it is that facebook wants to start charging for their services. It seems you can't win if you're facebook, they're not allowed to take ads from paying buyers and they can't ask customers for money. I hate to sound like a D.A.R.E. officer but seriously if people click on those ads the company will make money and they'll run more ads, it's a just say no situation. Or maybe a get over it situation.

I truly don't understand this modern need to protect the masses from their own mistakes. The children at the local school aren't allowed to play in the snow because they might fall. Who decided that life was too dangerous to live and why do we all buy in to it so easily? I honestly don't want to be a part of a culture that supports keeping children standing stock still in a frozen playground rather than letting them play and then denies them the occasional cookie because they're too fat from being encouraged to stand around or stay inside all the time.

Life wasn't always like this. Hardly one hundred years ago if you fell down playing and broke your arm you learned to be more careful or at least the fact that life is sometimes painful but you survive. It's a sad thing that we work so hard to make life easier, there is a definite lack of character in people today. Maybe I'm heartless but I think we're killing ourselves with unnatural selection. If you are a person who doesn't know that clicking the blinky blink "lose all your fat yesterday!" icon is a bad idea you deserve to get fleeced. I don't think those people need our protection. I think making mistakes and learning from them is a part of life, an important part of life. It's a harsh reality that getting what you want isn't what life is about and it's even harsher that some people make their living propagating the myth.

I don't yet think the human race is so stupid that literate people with access to the internet need violent protection from ads on facebook. There has to be a more worthy cause somewhere, even fighting pedophiles on myspace is a better use of time or visiting your local nursing home if you really want to make an actual difference in someone's life. I'm beginning to think personal computers are the root of all evil, what other medium allows people to to pander and protect the insecurities of so many.

Monday, February 02, 2009

"I never liked drinking milk, I hate cows."

Things are crazy and I've got nothing to say about it, or so it seems from the lack of blogging. There really isn't that much going on when I think about it rationally but I seem completely unable to process and deal so it feels extra crazy. I didn't get the job with the nun, the water froze again and the puppy is teething. I have a lot of things that I want to be working on that aren't getting done and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm supposed to do my taxes today, it's on my list. And send out some resumes. And bake something with bananas. The ands could go on and on if I let them but I think I'll stop here before I work myself into a medication required frenzy.

I'm trying to focus on positive things today so...I am feeling positive about redecorating my house. Mostly I'm just boxing up and storing a bunch of things I'm tired of, wall art and books that don't need to be at hand and lots of other things that just exist in my house without real need. I never thought I'd have enough stuff for a yard sale but I think I'm close and there's a great appeal in emptying out and starting over. I'm rearranging all the pictures and putting up a lot of new ones we've taken over the summer. I bought a new printer a few weeks ago to print resumes and make copies as needed for jobs and it prints beautiful photos too so I'm putting them up in the house. It's good for the morale to have a new clean looking space, it's helping me clear my brain.

I'm also feeling positive about our new debt free status. Matt's parents made him a very generous present and we're officially in the financial clear. It makes our budget living much more doable, perhaps there isn't a light at the end of the tunnel but it's not particularly dark either. I feel safer knowing the status quo, particularly as we're raising our pet spending. I made the mistake of googling the contents of our puppy food and now he's starting a fancy expensive natural food. Supposedly the critters eat less of the good food than they did of the less good food to get the same nutrients so it should even out. The cat will be switching too, once she's done her ginormous bucket of crunchies. I never realized how little she eats until we got the puppy. She is also much shorter than I ever realized, and lighter...I never thought I'd think of her as tiny.