tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-215420582024-03-07T22:07:53.784-05:00does this font make me look fat?from weightloss blog to brain dump. c'est la vie.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger1102125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-5171990785934318712015-01-16T07:27:00.002-05:002015-01-16T07:27:37.943-05:00"Well, my time of not taking you seriously is coming to a middle."it's been a while. it's also that time of year when people take to the internet to figure out their new years resolutions and look for inspiration. I've been thinking a lot lately about something i guess I've never written here and something I wish I had figured out ten years ago. Last year I fainted on new years and Matt freaked out. I am sure it was just low blood pressure (which is common in the winter when no on drinks enough water, but that's a different story altogether) but the doctors couldn't really give me a concrete answer. Which is partly why I started looking elsewhere for how to live a healthier life. I watched Forks over Knives, which is amazing and even if you don't care about killing animals to eat them you should totally care about how they are killed and processed and make it to your table. Anyway, so I decided to try going vegan. I know I wasn't eating enough vegetables and fruits to get the vitamins I needed so it seemed like a reasonable place to start in order to feel better. <br />
<br />
I've been slowing removing all dairy from my diet as I was already vegetarian and the difference is amazing. I think it's a lot like how paleo people feel about their diets and I believe it's all about removing the dairy. I still occasionally eat our home raised eggs but I try to avoid all cows milk products and I feel amazing. The biggest thing is that I am never hungry, I have no cravings. I didn't think I would ever have an attitude to food like I do now, where I really have to think about if I'm even hungry when I choose a meal. I eat about half the food I used to. And there is nothing I miss. I used to love chocolate ice cream. I can look at the ice cream case and buy for matt and never even feel badly that I don't get to have any because I don't even want it, it's no where on my radar. <br />
<br />
All in all i'm down about 10 pounds from this time last year. It took a while to really remove all the milk based foods from my diet and we are toying with the idea of trying goat's milk, although for real cashew and other nut milks are delicious. I still bake and there are plenty of recipes that don't suffer with the removal of cows milk. I can still have chips and fries and I do, and I don't count calories anymore. I have nothing but my personal experience to go by but I feel so incredibly different without dairy in my diet. Everything tastes better, I feel fuller with a smaller meal, my cravings are just gone. I so very much wish I had taken the idea of a plant based diet more seriously in my twenties. <br />
<br />
It's bullshit that you need the protein, there were vegetarian dinosaurs who didn't have to deal with assholes asking how they get their protein. All plants have protein. I read something that I loved on a vegan website. So many people say they couldn't give up meat or cheese or ice cream, and that's bullshit too. They don't want to and that's not the same thing at all. After watching the documentary and some others about veganism I looked at my habits and realized that I had no good reason to eat cheese sticks every day or cows milk in my cereal. I'm not missing anything in my life without cheese sticks except feeling sick and hungry all the time. <br />
<br />
So that's what I'm up to. I hope some of the new years visitors who stop by consider watching the film. Even if you aren't over weight, don't have heart disease or diabetes it's good for all of us to eat less meat and less dairy and more vegetables and beans. As they say food is the best medicine or the slowest poison and life is too short to be sick.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-24169232712569602982013-12-20T08:47:00.000-05:002013-12-20T08:47:11.082-05:00" I realize certain words were exchanged. Also, certain... bullets."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This is one of the skirts I got on sale at the limited, </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I wish it was a little bit shorter but i can always take it up. I wanted to wear it to work for the christmas party so I chose the black turtle neck sweater and black tights/shoes so it doesn't fight the shiny sequins.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOh64LSFK_694rqJAC4Dth07gi4u_4FaDDeudR0qqi0qVhu9RRs6h8aYBSEOwGJYPk14olkBqBKrwzY5bDK8x33NGS1BOMuKIAxLWUtiBSfJTXMeYRttAMqZRYbAltn514Tx7U/s1600/IMG_1837.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOh64LSFK_694rqJAC4Dth07gi4u_4FaDDeudR0qqi0qVhu9RRs6h8aYBSEOwGJYPk14olkBqBKrwzY5bDK8x33NGS1BOMuKIAxLWUtiBSfJTXMeYRttAMqZRYbAltn514Tx7U/s320/IMG_1837.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAUuUZLDm2lFXi2Stj8BjBl3EWqP0Eajkb275fyqVywWsroyR-uJKfKz90OsMKURllJpJPiR53yZwmTB6Q_8fMCs3pfAR23j2GxJm37VHnOfCEgFFNfZNc5492vTZO9WLlZ0LY/s1600/IMG_1850.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAUuUZLDm2lFXi2Stj8BjBl3EWqP0Eajkb275fyqVywWsroyR-uJKfKz90OsMKURllJpJPiR53yZwmTB6Q_8fMCs3pfAR23j2GxJm37VHnOfCEgFFNfZNc5492vTZO9WLlZ0LY/s320/IMG_1850.jpg" width="239" /></a>Truly awful fashion photos, i suppose i could at least wash the mirror, but if i wait for things to be perfect nothing would ever get posted...so this picture is new trouser jeans and a pretty blue shirred sweater from the limited. they got me with their 50% off sale and i ordered a ridiculous ton of stuff. Unfortunately I love almost all of it. The vest is required for work but it doesn't bother me too much with this outfit.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhsiRkCGYd_sOyC2VjeVCX-Orsess1Mw7MVKZFMfCgCKLHfK_kdQsSo3jmpraBa8lTxRIdKvhO2ZK14i2b0gV040V9sdG7uDH-VzHR6wolTGtPobEzYp__Uz1pSdowGm-EoRf/s1600/IMG_1852.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhsiRkCGYd_sOyC2VjeVCX-Orsess1Mw7MVKZFMfCgCKLHfK_kdQsSo3jmpraBa8lTxRIdKvhO2ZK14i2b0gV040V9sdG7uDH-VzHR6wolTGtPobEzYp__Uz1pSdowGm-EoRf/s320/IMG_1852.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
Rebecca called this nordic chic! this is the worst picture of them all but it was a snow day, no time to clean! A pop of color in my tank top, navy blue sweater, black tweed skirt/ black wool tights and the best sorel boots ever made. well one of them.<br /><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-87968353927000826942013-12-10T16:34:00.001-05:002013-12-10T16:34:04.790-05:00"Ten percent of nothing is, let me do the math here, nothing into nothing, carry the nothin'...<div>
listing things on ebay is a serious pain in the ass. I've been finally getting rid of all the things i've been keeping just incase i want to wear them or incase i lose ten pounds or whatever. it's helping pay for all the new clothes that hopefully look decent and haven't been sitting in my closet since the ice age. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
speaking of, it's beautiful and snowy today. it's my 33rd birthday and it's been pretty uneventful. listing on ebay, baking cookies for the work party. boring normal everyday stuff. should there be some revelation as the birthdays stack up. we're working on our house, trying to buy a new car since the maxima died, two happy healthy dog kids. not much but contentment on this birthday. i suppose thats a good thing yeah? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
as always waiting to find the sequence of things that keeps my body at a healthy weight but not fighting for it as much as i sometimes have. I'm so lucky in so many ways, happy and healthy with a warm place to live and clothes and coats to wear. Lucky enough even if my jeans are never a smaller size. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-47686451929148685472013-12-01T13:50:00.001-05:002013-12-01T13:50:26.043-05:00first try at royal icing...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSXKFtEU06-oc6-lMGclAqTuzNZrs5Equ1kEjFA-V31xowtKwdDK7L0ErDQZJYy0wxCV91iHW3F-f7_5lsDOj_Xbl81nxy98Q-aD1DCPXfW2VPURBWB9Z_zHMpgxHqjs8j3Hcg/s1600/IMG_1812.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSXKFtEU06-oc6-lMGclAqTuzNZrs5Equ1kEjFA-V31xowtKwdDK7L0ErDQZJYy0wxCV91iHW3F-f7_5lsDOj_Xbl81nxy98Q-aD1DCPXfW2VPURBWB9Z_zHMpgxHqjs8j3Hcg/s320/IMG_1812.JPG" width="320" /></a>This is my first try at cookies with royal icing. I'm super impressed that it came out so well without crying. The cookie dough was wonderful. The flavor of the unfrosted cookies is a little bland but the dough was amazing to work with. </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRllqGjZ0-GBvdEnwZ2R4IiFDzVdD8na_BIvKbYqJWYi6EKxZ1bBMA7RggQWyMqPSFBkPjOABWLAObndlw9PZxW2taNwdt63YntYcNcKrO8L0ORFemcoSqEFjZNUIKG-297kGD/s1600/IMG_1816.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRllqGjZ0-GBvdEnwZ2R4IiFDzVdD8na_BIvKbYqJWYi6EKxZ1bBMA7RggQWyMqPSFBkPjOABWLAObndlw9PZxW2taNwdt63YntYcNcKrO8L0ORFemcoSqEFjZNUIKG-297kGD/s320/IMG_1816.jpg" width="239" /></a> The icing is from King Arthur Flour's site. I used just whites because hannaford doesn't sell meringue powder. It was very easy to work with too. The moose I added cocoa to to make them brown made it a little more tricky to work with but only half of them look like they've contracted mange so that's a win in my book. </div>
<br /><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-17488792832326006682013-11-28T09:36:00.000-05:002013-12-01T09:39:16.686-05:00Caramel Apple pie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiikkSFg62bL7ztCZITDRP1QFWCEVSBETmuAaPj_Cdgoy4v3e7Al1SFM3M6sG2O0Q00wfsbbFnZ0pHR3s4n8HjluXhyphenhyphenVJpPFORTtlWwU1M-qTm2NIMAMKm0YFDXqb_r4yIs_2dy/s1600/IMG_1807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiikkSFg62bL7ztCZITDRP1QFWCEVSBETmuAaPj_Cdgoy4v3e7Al1SFM3M6sG2O0Q00wfsbbFnZ0pHR3s4n8HjluXhyphenhyphenVJpPFORTtlWwU1M-qTm2NIMAMKm0YFDXqb_r4yIs_2dy/s320/IMG_1807.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I've never made an open top apple pie before. I guess this is splitting the difference. The apples aren't quite as soft but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's very caramelized and the crust is nicely crisp. I guess I should experiment more often.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-3275178727784887982013-11-23T08:43:00.000-05:002013-11-23T08:43:13.129-05:00"Stay in character, remember your lines, and energy, energy, energy, especially in the musical numbers!"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Somehow in the last year I've decided there's a girly girl inside me. Girly enough to sign up for <a href="http://www.ipsy.com/r/2vb2" target="_blank">Ipsy</a> Glam Bag. And I love it. This is actually my first bag after being on the wait list for a month or so. The wait was actually quite a bit shorter than I thought, adds to the anticipation.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNDe87586KU2R99kyy4gqlEnxfne01RQupEr3PBva8Srz5JdGc0WghdQHwcBtABDAZRQy2wiUA-kr0aSuOlKLfKS30ec_LkFgxRTkJJdP1BH_4WkEk3fQkyoE31Y4jSJl0Jju4/s1600/IMG_1801.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNDe87586KU2R99kyy4gqlEnxfne01RQupEr3PBva8Srz5JdGc0WghdQHwcBtABDAZRQy2wiUA-kr0aSuOlKLfKS30ec_LkFgxRTkJJdP1BH_4WkEk3fQkyoE31Y4jSJl0Jju4/s320/IMG_1801.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I got an adorable gold bag, in a hilariously pink mailer which I just love! A red lip crayon which is perhaps my least favorite but maybe I just haven't embraced the RED yet. I got blue eye shadow which I'm on the fence about but should give a try some time. Gorgeous Pixi bronzer, gorgeous silver glitter eye liner, nail polish that is so me it's kind of ridiculous and the most perfect nude lipstick from em. Michelle Phan. It's smooth as silk, it's a beautiful shade, and it's made in the USA so I don't even feel guilty about possibly buying a ton of it from now until the end of time. </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHXmKSv0SaN6bAOcXyTC3kVm3amP2A1wSayMy9zk-jxwuSPdBv7_XLJ4jzM9_rjrOFwGvtyztr-2whjBDhhBDN3WYqKIBqV1VsrqrEXiP9ZPtYwQG6quzxRRQQSa3OH-hsdlBQ/s1600/IMG_1800.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHXmKSv0SaN6bAOcXyTC3kVm3amP2A1wSayMy9zk-jxwuSPdBv7_XLJ4jzM9_rjrOFwGvtyztr-2whjBDhhBDN3WYqKIBqV1VsrqrEXiP9ZPtYwQG6quzxRRQQSa3OH-hsdlBQ/s320/IMG_1800.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This is me in wearing the nude lipstick, it looks particularly nude here. I still love it. nude with a hint of peach. it's perfect.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
It's a ten dollar investment for the months bag but I definitely feel like I got my money's worth and more. There were definitely things I loved about birchbox, moisturizer and sunscreen are high on my priority list. I can't tell from one bag if I'm going to see a lot of those type of things in the glam bag but it is a lot of fun to find out.</div>
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-53718693143346679462012-08-02T08:46:00.001-04:002012-08-02T08:46:33.167-04:00Wedding bells!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmY9vAwq_RlzupA9ZeE1tKEDmw-6J6yWzZj0fFZHqfprUcNHx5WeAS56kM6WOjhmojElcDEHSTjLE8fNp8CPTatAbVrGqyqh7Fh4Wlp74O9gz4oOfyyyfhyphenhyphen1Kek9hM2QAIEVaS/s1600/DSC_0009-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmY9vAwq_RlzupA9ZeE1tKEDmw-6J6yWzZj0fFZHqfprUcNHx5WeAS56kM6WOjhmojElcDEHSTjLE8fNp8CPTatAbVrGqyqh7Fh4Wlp74O9gz4oOfyyyfhyphenhyphen1Kek9hM2QAIEVaS/s320/DSC_0009-2.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwNQLH5T_ylIwDLowE9U6kzM_Nj0AhD14I_HiDTrHuMl1zdlQfcDjgOwnQhM-d4jUh4zovjK2duBP9pE3aMUYvMJzkm_wtW-YJdBwH7-cNQgmGU90E8ZP_H3RaWCY4_r7Dvb4A/s1600/DSC_0023-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwNQLH5T_ylIwDLowE9U6kzM_Nj0AhD14I_HiDTrHuMl1zdlQfcDjgOwnQhM-d4jUh4zovjK2duBP9pE3aMUYvMJzkm_wtW-YJdBwH7-cNQgmGU90E8ZP_H3RaWCY4_r7Dvb4A/s320/DSC_0023-2.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdQ7O5Shv8n_r4PuHuktbWebiAnjsYQsQskWwvbdYH1M7P3uCS7DZ_xvyxLUbWLxn2CfhY6GGwrbFhgZDTAJVOzzHda3EgRHItqxHftZi5Bx65Xms2AbwuquZoNQZuLCk-KY5x/s1600/DSC_0044.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdQ7O5Shv8n_r4PuHuktbWebiAnjsYQsQskWwvbdYH1M7P3uCS7DZ_xvyxLUbWLxn2CfhY6GGwrbFhgZDTAJVOzzHda3EgRHItqxHftZi5Bx65Xms2AbwuquZoNQZuLCk-KY5x/s320/DSC_0044.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT_uhyXQ1gEYaZuGbZOi-J91S_Oo0Rt5oSjGKk_N-TyfW8mHQbNAMBwEAZ7zo6m01X97vfkwBT0KyKw0zF9KKeh1DUI15z98f035KuJHW8KR86QTmH5vx4q1WLpRTcbg7A3k9r/s1600/DSC_0047.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT_uhyXQ1gEYaZuGbZOi-J91S_Oo0Rt5oSjGKk_N-TyfW8mHQbNAMBwEAZ7zo6m01X97vfkwBT0KyKw0zF9KKeh1DUI15z98f035KuJHW8KR86QTmH5vx4q1WLpRTcbg7A3k9r/s320/DSC_0047.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Finally got to load the wedding day pictures! Knox and matt are so handsome!</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-28390871390752788802012-07-18T07:36:00.002-04:002012-07-18T07:36:51.021-04:00"are you my mother?"I had a really nice bridal shower, very low key. and I was really happy with how everything went down until i realized a cousin of matt's felt really left out because her invite didn't arrive. no one told us until after the shower was over. I spoke to my mother in law about it last night and she said that since she and sil are closer she talked to her about it. yes, i can see how helpful it is to talk to my estranged sister in law about my shower instead of me, how ridiculous i am to think that my shower would have more to do with me than sil. so obvious! what was i thinking? <br />
<br />
My mother in law is very fond of telling me how hard she tries to keep everything equal and it just now occurred to me that what she means is she did really nice things for bil and sil because she loves them SO MUCH! and she just does the same things for us because it's fair. I don't know how that escaped me before. It turns out all the feelings I thought were turning around in our relationship really haven't changed at all and it will just always be "my son and his beautiful girl....oh, and there's matt and amy". The sooner I accept that and stop expecting something different the less it will hurt.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-66506075358398120442012-05-29T05:43:00.002-04:002012-05-29T05:43:27.060-04:00"Don't worry if the sleeves are too long, you'll find they'll ride up with wear"the thyroid medication is helping tremendously. i went from wanting to fall asleep on the side of the path on our daily walks to walking and then coming home and doing more cardio. which definitely proves to me that i'm feeling better and no wonder the first and much simpler wedding was kicking my ass so hard. my body could physically not cope with it because of my thyroid. and apparently all the blood sugar issues i had been having were indeed related because there's some weird connection between hypothyroidism and hypoglycemia. sorting out the one seems to be helping tremendously with the other. this is to say of course that i haven't actually lost any weight. i have gotten smaller and musclier but my actual poundage is even higher than i ever remember it being and i'm hoping it's all just a big fluke. my clothes are starting to get looser so i'm going with the muscle weighs more than fat line and i took some measurements to i can feel some kind of progress is happening. <br />
<br />
planning the reception is turning out to be a pain in the rear. the caterer people haven't returned any calls or emails which is probably a good a reason as any not to hire them. we started looking at chafing dishes and frozen crab cakes. i still haven't seen the movie and i'm just praying that it won't be embarrassing. not that it matters. that's why we're using most of our budget on liquor. anyway it sucks and we'd be much better off if we'd decided to stick with eloping instead of this hybrid. everyone seems very excited about it though which is nice. i'm praying it won't be a disappointment.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-44596339147870381662012-05-11T06:10:00.001-04:002012-05-11T06:10:48.314-04:00"This one is unsigned, and suggests that you do something physically impossible with the suggestion box"We toured the theatre where we're hosting our wedding reception last night. The vintage theatre is only vintage on the outside. It was turned in to a grocery store after it stopped showing films and there was a major reconstruction to make it a theatre again. It looks a bit more like a corporate office with a big screen but there is more usable space than the other vintage theaters we've visited in the area. The benefit of modern fire safety codes. They have tables and chairs we can use, at no cost, bathrooms, popcorn machine and a very cool thing we can use as the bar. <br />
<br />
We had dinner a restaurant down the road which sometimes caters events. It was kind of a strange experience but it's not scratched from the list. He also offered another suggestion which I know matt's mom absolutely loves so I'm really going to look in to them. <br />
<br />
I have to really think about the tables and how things are going to work out physically from sitting in a row of chairs with no aisle to eating food and serving drinks. Beyond actually yelling fire I'm not sure how that's going to work. In a church everyone knows to leave after and go to the reception spot but the reception is in the exact same place and will be completely visible from the event seating. I'm going to need some serious inspiration to figure out the flow.<br />
<br />
It's good news to finally get it sorted out. I have to figure out the times today and then print the invitations. then there's no going back.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-48113667886377826822012-04-24T19:19:00.001-04:002012-04-24T19:19:14.177-04:00"If I did have a baby it would have nothing to do with whether I had my underwear up"I read this article today about cooking and eating and julia child. There was a very interesting point about the Food Network not actually trying to encourage people to cook more, which is obvious when you think about it but is something I've never considered before. Julia Child did encourage people to cook and to be confident in the kitchen and to love cooking for more than just having a meal. It puts me in mind of the times I look up a new recipe and half the ingredients are cans of soup and mixes of this or that. That to me is not cooking, preparing food yes, but really cooking no. If the recipe is half cans of something it's not really a recipe in my estimation. <br />
<br />
<br />
I'm recently back on my thyroid medication and cooking and eating is easy again. A hundred years ago when I lost some weight I remember everything feeling really easy. And then I went off my medication because my doctor was an idiot and I was not a good advocate for myself and things got hard for a very long time. it's wonderful to have good choices feel easy and I'm really looking forward to hopefully reaping some weightloss benefits from all these good choices. I am working toward losing a little weight and wearing some of my favorite clothes again. I'm not trying to push myself or put forward unreasonable goals but I feel so wonderful. I'm doing pilates every day and feeling amazing. After years of imperfect teasers I am finally back on track and I'm genuinely looking forward to feeling this good for a long time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-25151479106977018152012-02-21T18:56:00.000-05:002012-02-21T18:56:52.492-05:00shanana's the best groupthe chicken lady thinks i'm crazy. i had to call her today and my co-workers heard a ridiculous one sided conversation about cocks and pullets and pullets and cocks and it turns out when you say those words over and over while getting more confused it just makes your co-workers giggle more. the long and the short of it is I filled out my chicken order form in a hurry and i'm not sure when kind of chickens i'm getting. i was pretty sure and then i looked at my receipt and now i'm worried. like it matters. they all lay eggs. there are worse things than ordering the wrong breed of chicken. and by the way, they do not sell cocks. just sayin.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-90309665973226141382012-01-31T07:27:00.000-05:002012-01-31T07:27:54.775-05:00dude, fat.so last week sucked. january, sick dogs, crappy work stuff, hormones and it all added up to about 5 pounds. I did a lot of things I never ever do, buying candy at the grocery store, eating almost a whole pizza myself over just two days. I very often lose five pounds and give myself no credit because it's only five pounds but this extra five pounds makes me feel exactly like i have 5 pounds of butter strapped to myself. I started dealing with it yesterday and i'm a pound down today. i'm sure it was salt and or water related to shift that fast but i'm definitely glad. only 4 or say 24 more to go. depending on how you feel about preparing for your wedding photos in two months. This would be a good time to start some kind of two month cleanse/or something but my emotional reserves are like shot. things at work that have always bothered me are still happening and completely shattering me. The dog being sick always completely shatters me, but he's getting better. It's not a real wedding, the stressful kind that involves huge white dresses and sobbing mothers, but it's still wearing on me to have to make so many decisions about that day and the party in summer. I had planned a massage/facial session to get my brain together but with the vet visits that's completely out of the budget. le sigh. but I have promised myself to do pilates every day so that's hopeful. if i keep it up.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-45482871168785852812012-01-11T07:27:00.000-05:002012-01-11T07:27:59.711-05:00wedding dress and shoes!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmXpb8IsGIq6RULF4G2-kYnxeD7W3yBMuE9z3pE_EdJahxOIPxTJTmUQerRYuHulbkQ3QqRS-kxDUBptjBKTwjKR3-ja-NO56CVX4SBB_VzqtTlDLhdbdTATEBSB2lEgpbOwLv/s1600/IMGP2844.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmXpb8IsGIq6RULF4G2-kYnxeD7W3yBMuE9z3pE_EdJahxOIPxTJTmUQerRYuHulbkQ3QqRS-kxDUBptjBKTwjKR3-ja-NO56CVX4SBB_VzqtTlDLhdbdTATEBSB2lEgpbOwLv/s320/IMGP2844.JPG" width="212" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6EBrGeW9l2oq8b58UsfWAzEJiMV4jAREP1InA-f529c6Z8CtdwHF-gOlkoNQ3gdAm_tYToORi9uD4MXac7q95KAiU7_SMcU0ZyJiCWY3KlSguFUOYEszP0AxSisfIc0wWxt0M/s1600/IMGP2845.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6EBrGeW9l2oq8b58UsfWAzEJiMV4jAREP1InA-f529c6Z8CtdwHF-gOlkoNQ3gdAm_tYToORi9uD4MXac7q95KAiU7_SMcU0ZyJiCWY3KlSguFUOYEszP0AxSisfIc0wWxt0M/s320/IMGP2845.JPG" width="212" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH7cL3EMiZcaWXk6A_Uy_alFrqvnfZ438hBEkYMt83oNdCFtEQIf9DjWPhZcSHUIC_8EVJce4JKLS0Ts9sDLYK4wwnJWzJpk4UK654nIeGLkdLE4vhQ5oCy7a-oZsOrNvtI3TY/s1600/IMGP2846.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiH7cL3EMiZcaWXk6A_Uy_alFrqvnfZ438hBEkYMt83oNdCFtEQIf9DjWPhZcSHUIC_8EVJce4JKLS0Ts9sDLYK4wwnJWzJpk4UK654nIeGLkdLE4vhQ5oCy7a-oZsOrNvtI3TY/s320/IMGP2846.JPG" width="212" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrSFl0YHy0DD8Pq4OZrw9WfQg6gZpcsN48APdjTd_IAtNwluO8eLDaG3xDZfW5Ount6cckUQaaz7RUtel9AfRxDqJINBM9iOFniRV6c7z6eXYl-IktbszkQSPTyCGDm_BxMCfJ/s1600/IMGP2847.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrSFl0YHy0DD8Pq4OZrw9WfQg6gZpcsN48APdjTd_IAtNwluO8eLDaG3xDZfW5Ount6cckUQaaz7RUtel9AfRxDqJINBM9iOFniRV6c7z6eXYl-IktbszkQSPTyCGDm_BxMCfJ/s320/IMGP2847.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh47eeebL4MJbFDap6derfOZbGWXp2UrrABBqaU6BySeJ4k4DieLce6-QqYbC2NGJYX8R73FPzsbV5tRyra12G3dtypSjRmGLIjyBOZVR9t-zJR50YMiBIS7B6jqyO2r02XTvH8/s1600/IMGP2848.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh47eeebL4MJbFDap6derfOZbGWXp2UrrABBqaU6BySeJ4k4DieLce6-QqYbC2NGJYX8R73FPzsbV5tRyra12G3dtypSjRmGLIjyBOZVR9t-zJR50YMiBIS7B6jqyO2r02XTvH8/s320/IMGP2848.JPG" width="212" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-91390804637107462522012-01-04T16:40:00.001-05:002012-01-04T16:40:50.373-05:00"we've got to get her a man before she fills this house with crucifixes and pussycats"if i don't choose a date for my wedding reception rebecca is going to reach through the computer and kill me. the thing is, choosing a date is hard. really hard. i'm not sure how much i can commit to having my whole family around for my wedding. I had assumed that matt's family would be the problem but now it seems that my anxiety about my own family is the problem and i guess that's why we're planning an elopement in the first place. <br />
<br />
the latest idea is to video tape the actual wedding and show it as a movie at a very cool old movie theater. it's not expensive, it's a super fun idea (i think) it would hold all of our guests and we might be able to have alcohol for those who want it. the problem is that securing a date and inviting people makes me feel itchy. even if we end up just having friends up and watching a movie of our choosing with popcorn, it wouldn't be a total waste of an experience. gosh, i might need chocolate and valium to get through this planning.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-32052109806693347652011-12-14T20:04:00.000-05:002011-12-14T20:04:56.630-05:00"no one wins, one side just loses more slowly"I've been doing a lot of new age style self help work lately. that sounds crazy and it probably is but I've been feeling like I just spend too much time angry and I'm getting older and I just don't want to go on like that. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my family and how i grew up and why i hold on to things i should be able to let go of. I haven't gotten it all figured out yet, but I think it's important to look for answers before I'm turning 51 and I still have so many feelings that don't take me forward. <br />
<br />
The bulk of my triggers come from family and real or perceived slights. Most of this is matt's family because i keep a lot of distance from my family. I can't keep much distance from matt's family so I have to find a way to deal with it in a more positive way. I've been thinking and talking to my sister about our childhood and it's helping me understand more about myself than i've ever really tried before. I've always been hard to get to know, I keep up a lot of walls. A lot of that is protecting myself from my family. <br />
<br />
My parents weren't horribly abusive but they weren't very good either. I can't remember a time when I didn't make my own lunch for school or do my own laundry. Before first grade I had to use chairs to reach the buttons. Matt told me his mom taught him how to do laundry when he went to college. that is what a normal family does. A normal, attentive mother. A normal mother doesn't leave her kids sitting outside of school until it's dark and not notice when their six year old isn't at the dinner table. <br />
<br />
My sister says she couldn't ever forget her kids. I don't know how anyone could. it's not like she did drugs, she just wasn't that interested in caring for us. and neither was my dad. They had kids because that's what you were supposed to do. we had food and clothes, they paid for my college at least what the scholarship didn't cover, but no attention. not ever. <br />
<br />
So I guess my parents raised me to be very independent with their negligence. independent and hesitant to trust because who can you rely on if you can't count on your parents. I'm trying to understand this and realize that it's not always going to be like that. I can trust matt. Always. that's the thing i'm basing all my personal growth on. I can trust him which means I can work on other things and try to let some other people in and stop feeling like i have to bear every burden on my own. I'm working on it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-2450490586888510492011-12-11T07:14:00.000-05:002011-12-11T07:14:47.239-05:00"Well, what if the baby killed a man?"My mother in law gave me cat earrings for my birthday. again. I think this is evidence that she does in fact hate me but matt says he asked her and she said no. ha. This is why he says we should ignore as we are ignored and I do try not to care. I do. I have better days and worse days and there are some days I wish I could be vapid and focused on reproduction and big family weddings but I just can't, it's just not me. I'm trying to be a better person and let it go. <br />
<br />
Actually I want to be such a good person that it doesn't even bother me but I'm not sure I can afford the therapy to be that good. I'll settle for not seething because someone gave me a present. That'll all change when we get married and she's not there, I'm sure I won't see anything as friendly as cat earrings again. I might have to start a completely new blog for that, something with barbed wire. <br />
<br />
As this is supposed to be a weightloss blog, I will share that I am losing very slowly by eating more calories. It's very difficult psychologically to eat more calories to lose weight but i'm tracking and really trying to eat well to fuel our daily exercise. I need to get back in to my pilates every day thing. I've been stretching every day to keep my shoulder loose but I would definitely benefit from the core exercise. I have a dress that fits at my current size but I wouldn't mind terribly if I was so thin I had to buy a new one. I'd get over it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-79116524710072658842011-12-10T08:18:00.000-05:002011-12-10T08:18:51.656-05:00"Going to the doctor is your answer for everything"I chose this title because one of my co-workers said it, the one who was out sick all week with, well, everything. So I had to work extra hours all week but the kind where you're on tenterhooks while you wait to see if your co-worker has actually gone to the doctor. It's been a long weird week with not very much exercise and lots of bad food because today is my birthday. I have a very beautiful white box in my fridge and inside it is a cake. I'm excited about slicing her up but patient enough to have not done it yet. I have however started to open my presents and cards and YAY! birthdays are fun. I have a very exciting baguette pan and a bento box to pack my lunch in, which means I'll have to start really packing my lunch. I have a check from my dad I might use to get a facial or a massage or something else i haven't thought of yet. it's a very exciting day. <br />
<br />
I don't know yet what is in store for me for the rest of the day. Matt is keeping his plans all quiet all though i definitely saw the sign he mentioned about how nothing says love like a gun. I guess we'll see.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-71813655993531236902011-11-30T17:45:00.000-05:002011-11-30T17:45:55.790-05:00"hey’re also floating the idea that his being dead may have been a pre-existing condition"so, i can't say i've been busy because that just doesn't seem true but i guess i can say my ability to manage my time has gotten worse. I don't know if it's winter or old age or what. the darkness is a problem. fitting a whole day into 8 hours of sunlight cramps my style. it's hard to walk the doggies in the dark and we are really counting the days until the light starts to come back. 22 more days till we start going the other way. and what's the deal with it being so warm? i don't watch the news but my homies at work told me this morning bangor was the warmest place in the US. what's that about? tomorrow is december and today was 62 degrees. this is maine, it's just so wrong. Snow in october, 62 on the last day of november. so weird. <br />
<br />
I'm trying to get excited about baking this year and that's hard to do when it's so warm. I know there will be plenty of days for hot chocolate and warm cookies and i'll be cursing the cold before long but seriously it's weird. and those boots i bought are totally not necessary when it's 60, just saying. <br />
<br />
I've been working on my wedding and recently nothing is that big a deal anymore. maybe it's winter malaise but i'm just not that into it anymore. the basics are covered and that's about it. I'm thinking of taking my brooch bouquet to flower class with me to ask my teacher's opinion. I don't really want to re-do it but i want it to look right and i'm not sure if i have the objectivity with it anymore.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-17761183450505802192011-11-18T08:27:00.000-05:002011-11-18T08:27:22.810-05:00"have you ever seen someone so unhappy to have a new iphone?"the salesman was totally right because I was totally unhappy to have to buy a new phone. i'm getting used to the new phone but it's weird and i'm super bummed that my genius plan to get my old phone working again failed miserably. i guess you need more than genius, you need luck and technical skills and the ability to let go and just be grateful you can afford a new phone and get over it. <br />
<br />
on the downside, I lost everything. email addresses and phone numbers and music and everything. if I had your number and i owe you a call or a text, sorry dudes. my phone was dead for weeks before i got around to dealing with it and my sister was convinced i was dead and now because i live like a technology gypsy and have nothing written down...i'm totally without basic contact information for most of my family. it would be awesome if i learned a lesson from this but odds on I tell myself I'm going to write it all down and I won't. Maybe i'll surprise myself.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-89126369932773691862011-11-13T14:53:00.000-05:002011-11-13T14:53:42.611-05:00"I wish I had a blowhole"After years and years of abuse I finally killed my original iphone. it was the day after steve jobs died which i find especially poignant. anyway, since it took me longer to kill that phone than any other phone I have ever owned, i decided to hit up ebay and get a new old school iphone. At first I was just going to replace the screen and some other bits but then the whole thing bit the dust when whatever bits and bobs you need to charge the battery stopped working. a ha! I thought, I'll just replace the whole phone with this other old school phone i bought off ebay, which is in such good condition that i think they must have kept it in a glass case in on their mantle instead of actually using it as a phone. they certainly never dropped it twice a week on to cement like i did. <br />
<br />
I thought changing out the guts would be hard and all the tutorials on youtube proved me right, what with the special tools and instructions that tell you to use force but be careful. I didn't think it would be more difficult to make the practically brand new phone come to life but i was totally wrong. it's way more frustrating dealing with stuff that should work as opposed to stuff that is leaking proverbial phone blood all over the place. customer care told me i had to get a new sim card...at the store...and after four days i was finally able to do this. and actually it helped. it helped in the way that i can now see the phone on my itunes and restore the settings but alas, can still not at all use the phone. <br />
<br />
i'm starting to get hulk mad, like when your clothes rip at the seams and you call customer service and are short on the pleasantries with the tech help just because you can be, watch out at&t!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-45631600352170038922011-11-01T07:00:00.000-04:002011-11-01T07:00:34.584-04:00"how can they postpone halloween"Winter has arrived early and often and we are starting to understand how unprepared we are. I need new boots, a face mask, we both need new socks and probably some shovels. It's bad news how unprepared we are. but yay for shopping. I have some boots coming from zappos. I really love winter but not when i'm freezing to death. <br />
<br />
To prepare for the storm we had to put the grill away and pick the last of the garden, and stack four truckloads of wood. The stacking was my favorite part and now all of my muscles are broken. even if sunday wasn't snowed in and powered down we would have been laying around all day anyway, in traction. it burns almost four hundred calories an hour though so that's a plus.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-67939464744656484992011-10-13T10:31:00.001-04:002011-10-13T19:15:08.484-04:00"I don't know what you're after but get me one too"I just baked the best baguette I have ever baked. it's also my first baguette and I'm hoping the process only improves. it's from the five minute artisan bread cookbook via <a href="http://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/the-almost-no-knead-baguette-recipe">king arthur flour </a>and it honestly couldn't have been easier. you mix the ingredients in a very large bowl, or bucket. I used my largest cooking pot. You knead it for literally 2 minutes and let it rise on the counter in the bowl. and then you put it in the fridge overnight. You can keep it for up to a week, pulling out a pound at a time to shape and bake. this must be what french farm wives do, make it up once a week and bake a little every day. It all makes me feel very smug. I'd love to keep it up and bake fresh bread every few days but we'll see how long that lasts. least of all I don't need to eat that much bread. If you love bread baking and want to impress the crap out of your family, give it a try.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-57285014340050431292011-10-04T18:16:00.000-04:002011-10-04T18:16:08.858-04:00wedding progress report:Today I received most of my wedding ensemble. unless i hate it when i try it on of course. I got a sweater that is very vintage looking and actually looks just like my bouquet. I'll post pictures when I find time to try it all on. it could be fantastic...it could be way too matchy matchy. <br />
<br />
I also ordered a belt for my dress which is not matchy matchy so hopefully it works out. <br />
<br />
I have a few pairs of shoes that go with my belt, or vice versa, I'm not sure which ones i love the bestest but i get to try it all on and see what i like best. <br />
<br />
I ordered two sets of wedding cake toppers today. two sets? yes, i'm a jerk. I couldn't decide and since they're actually salt and pepper shakers it's not like I can't use them. I have a pair of very adorable vintage black swans who make a quirky goth heart when put together. I also have a pair of pewter birds i can't remember the name of, pheasants maybe. they are very graceful with long tails. So I have a quirky option and a gracefully beautiful option depending on the mood. I can of course use them both on my table all year for any occasion and I just couldn't resist losing them at their super cheap prices. <br />
<br />
I have a few more things to buy for matt's ensemble and a few small things that I know i will want for one of my wedding related parties that I will purchase as funds allow and then I am calling it quits on the shopping. if you keep shopping you keep finding things you like better and second guess your choices and i'm just done with that. i'm burnt out on decision making and i really have a lot left to do so some things really have to get settled on the quick.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21542058.post-47621351258795079372011-10-03T20:15:00.000-04:002011-10-03T20:15:49.900-04:00"if you start seeing with your ears or whatnot...get to a doctor"I really need to get my scale back. Judging by how huge my engagement ring is I have lost one thousand pounds. I really have to see if i can get it sized. but then i might lost more weight. and then i'd just have to do it again. this is how i think, really. That is how lazy I am. there should be a study. <br />
<br />
This weekend I baked everything in the whole world. I made chicken soup and biscuits for my sick boyfriend, I made banana chocolate muffins, peanut butter biscuits for knox's birthday! and an apple pie. The pie came out great, my crust recipe is really improved. The peanut butter biscuits got no complaints from the doggies and knox was so eager to help me with the taste testing he ate four banana chip muffins with wrappers. hopefully he doesn't have regrets about that. I certainly do, they were really good and definitely not meant for doggies. <br />
<br />
Matt and his dad agreed the soup came out well and matt's dad asked me an interesting question i've never thought about before. how do I know it's good if i never taste it? 80% of the things I cook I never taste. I've never eaten my own chicken soup or pot roast, beef stew or meatloaf. I have no idea how they taste. I remember what my mom's recipes taste like and I cook them the same way my mom did. He asked me how I season things and i said I guessed and he laughed. I suppose it's more like instinct that guessing. I don't know if it's impressive that I can feed matt without tasting anything or if i'm missing huge areas I could learn and grow as a cook. I guess there's not much I can do about it unless I go back to eating meat, I suppose I should just be happy matt is happy. if I was a terrible cooker of meat I'm sure he'd take over. or divorce me.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0