Wedding bells!

Finally got to load the wedding day pictures!  Knox and matt are so handsome!

"are you my mother?"

I had a really nice bridal shower, very low key.  and I was really happy with how everything went down until i realized a cousin of matt's felt really left out because her invite didn't arrive.  no one told us until after the shower was over.  I spoke to my mother in law about it last night and she said that since she and sil are closer she talked to her about it.  yes, i can see how helpful it is to talk to my estranged sister in law about my shower instead of me, how ridiculous i am to think that my shower would have more to do with me than sil.  so obvious!  what was i thinking?

My mother in law is very fond of telling me how hard she tries to keep everything equal and it just now occurred to me that what she means is she did really nice things for bil and sil because she loves them SO MUCH! and she just does the same things for us because it's fair.  I don't know how that escaped me before.  It turns out all the feelings I thought were turning around in our relationship really haven't changed at all and it will just always be "my son and his beautiful girl....oh, and there's matt and amy".  The sooner I accept that and stop expecting something different the less it will hurt.

"Don't worry if the sleeves are too long, you'll find they'll ride up with wear"

the thyroid medication is helping tremendously.  i went from wanting to fall asleep on the side of the path on our daily walks to walking and then coming home and doing more cardio.  which definitely proves to me that i'm feeling better and no wonder the first and much simpler wedding was kicking my ass so hard. my body could physically not cope with it because of my thyroid.  and apparently all the blood sugar issues i had been having were indeed related because there's some weird connection between hypothyroidism and hypoglycemia.  sorting out the one seems to be helping tremendously with the other.  this is to say of course that i haven't actually lost any weight.  i have gotten smaller and musclier but my actual poundage is even higher than i ever remember it being and i'm hoping it's all just a big fluke.  my clothes are starting to get looser so i'm going with the muscle weighs more than fat line and i took some measurements to i can feel some kind of progress is happening.

planning the reception is turning out to be a pain in the rear.  the caterer people haven't returned any calls or emails which is probably a good a reason as any not to hire them.  we started looking at chafing dishes and frozen crab cakes.  i still haven't seen the movie and i'm just praying that it won't be embarrassing.  not that it matters.  that's why we're using most of our budget on liquor.  anyway it sucks and we'd be much better off if we'd decided to stick with eloping instead of this hybrid.  everyone seems very excited about it though which is nice.  i'm praying it won't be a disappointment.

"This one is unsigned, and suggests that you do something physically impossible with the suggestion box"

We toured the theatre where we're hosting our wedding reception last night.  The vintage theatre is only vintage on the outside.  It was turned in to a grocery store after it stopped showing films and there was a major reconstruction to make it a theatre again.  It looks a bit more like a corporate office with a big screen but there is more usable space than the other vintage theaters we've visited in the area.  The benefit of modern fire safety codes.  They have tables and chairs we can use, at no cost, bathrooms, popcorn machine and a very cool thing we can use as the bar.

We had dinner a restaurant down the road which sometimes caters events.  It was kind of a strange experience but it's not scratched from the list.  He also offered another suggestion which I know matt's mom absolutely loves so I'm really going to look in to them.

I have to really think about the tables and how things are going to work out physically from sitting in a row of chairs with no aisle to eating food and serving drinks.  Beyond actually yelling fire I'm not sure how that's going to work. In a church everyone knows to leave after and go to the reception spot but the reception is in the exact same place and will be completely visible from the event seating.  I'm going to need some serious inspiration to figure out the flow.

It's good news to finally get it sorted out.  I have to figure out the times today and then print the invitations.  then there's no going back.

"If I did have a baby it would have nothing to do with whether I had my underwear up"

I read this article today about cooking and eating and julia child.  There was a very interesting point about the Food Network not actually trying to encourage people to cook more, which is obvious when you think about it but is something I've never considered before.  Julia Child did encourage people to cook and to be confident in the kitchen and to love cooking for more than just having a meal.  It puts me in mind of the times I look up a new recipe and half the ingredients are cans of soup and mixes of this or that.  That to me is not cooking, preparing food yes, but really cooking no.  If the recipe is half cans of something it's not really a recipe in my estimation.


I'm recently back on my thyroid medication and cooking and eating is easy again.  A hundred years ago when I lost some weight I remember everything feeling really easy.  And then I went off my medication because my doctor was an idiot and I was not a good advocate for myself and things got hard for a very long time.  it's wonderful to have good choices feel easy and I'm really looking forward to hopefully reaping some weightloss benefits from all these good choices.  I am working toward losing a little weight and wearing some of my favorite clothes again.  I'm not trying to push myself or put forward unreasonable goals but I feel so wonderful.  I'm doing pilates every day and feeling amazing.  After years of imperfect teasers I am finally back on track and I'm genuinely looking forward to feeling this good for a long time.

shanana's the best group

the chicken lady thinks i'm crazy.  i had to call her today and my co-workers heard a ridiculous one sided conversation about cocks and pullets and pullets and cocks and it turns out when you say those words over and over while getting more confused it just makes your co-workers giggle more.  the long and the short of it is I filled out my chicken order form in a hurry and i'm not sure when kind of chickens i'm getting.  i was pretty sure and then i looked at my receipt and now i'm worried.  like it matters.  they all lay eggs.  there are worse things than ordering the wrong breed of chicken.  and by the way, they do not sell cocks.  just sayin.

dude, fat.

so last week sucked.  january, sick dogs, crappy work stuff, hormones and it all added up to about 5 pounds.  I did a lot of things I never ever do, buying candy at the grocery store, eating almost a whole pizza myself over just two days.  I very often lose five pounds and give myself no credit because it's only five pounds but this extra five pounds makes me feel exactly like i have 5 pounds of butter strapped to myself.  I started dealing with it yesterday and i'm a pound down today.  i'm sure it was salt and or water related to shift that fast but i'm definitely glad.  only 4 or say 24 more to go.  depending on how you feel about preparing for your wedding photos in two months.  This would be a good time to start some kind of two month cleanse/or something but my emotional reserves are like shot.  things at work that have always bothered me are still happening and completely shattering me.  The dog being sick always completely shatters me, but he's getting better.  It's not a real wedding, the stressful kind that involves huge white dresses and sobbing mothers, but it's still wearing on me to have to make so many decisions about that day and the party in summer.  I had planned a massage/facial session to get my brain together but with the vet visits that's completely out of the budget.  le sigh.  but I have promised myself to do pilates every day so that's hopeful.  if i keep it up.