*

10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Friday, April 30, 2010

"I have faith in you. There is no one you cannot piss off."

Dudes, I have had a busy week with things to do, for people if not for money. It's been very exciting. I had to bake cream puffs and brownies and then I had to eat them...which is taxing...and then I got to babysit for a sickypoo baby who was actually in the best mood I have ever seen him ever and today we are picking up more trees for our orchard. I haven't had such a busy week in a LONG while and it feels almost like being human. I have a weekend of physical labor to look forward to, planting and other gardening duties. It's kind of awesome.

My running is coming along great. The icyhot really helps my knees and the snowshoeing kept my muscles in awesome shape because there has been no warming up curve at all. I'm kind of amazed. I have to admit it feels better than I ever would have thought to work the muscles that way. I have a strong memory of running till I felt like I would die, 3 minutes or so, and now I hardly ever feel like I'm going to die at all. Progress is a beautiful thing!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

"But sweetie, you'll get bedsores."

I'm taking a quick break in my domestic duties to tell you all how very disappointed I am that while I feel ill I'm not sick enough to lose thirty pounds. A little stomach flu never hurt anyone! Sigh. There's always next time. Perhaps I'll mail order a tape worm.

And that's where I want to stop because my blog has turned into a collection of brain dead text messages. My narcissism level is critically low lately. But perhaps I should keep typing till I get a paragraph? Or even two. I applied to work at some banks today. It just occurred to me that it might be a good idea, better late than never...maybe. I suppose it's better than debtor's prison but the more i think about it it's very much the same, only the clothes are less dickensian. And that's it, I'm spent. I have not another thing to say. Or Blog. Jolie is making out with a clifford doll and it's taking all of my attention. They make a very cute couple.

Monday, April 26, 2010

"content to do very little, slowly"

We're all pooped from our run this morning. I don't know what they were up to but I made a point of running and jogging every flat and uphill grade. Matt has a theory that downhills are more damaging than uphills so I skip those. I've been using icy hot on my knee before runs and at bedtime as Roxy suggested and it's been very helpful. I feel pretty good lately and the one day I skipped the morning run I felt so ridiculously stiff that I promised myself I wouldn't skip a walk/run again. Now I'm preparing to have my second breakfast and leave the house to do errands. Leaving the house is such a big deal lately, I'm going to put on real clothes with no holes or stains and it's going to be momentous.

I have one hundred returns to make and then buy some oven cleaner...so you know i'm spending my afternoon with my head in the oven but hopefully without the gas on. If I don't blog tomorrow send flowers.

Friday, April 23, 2010

"I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight"




If Knox could blog he would totally tell you guys that I'm in the well and to send help but probably only because he wants me to stop cleaning. Dooce says it's her mental illness that keeps her floors so clean and to tell you the truth I do feel better when I'm vacuuming. Jolie let me vacuum her feet which really solves the whole dirt to floor problem before it starts. It's going to be a long day for the woofs in my house.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

"have you seen my drawer of inappropriate starches"

I finished the first season of Dollhouse on netflix yesterday and I only got one quote. Damn you Joss Whedon! Today I made a deal with myself that I wouldn't spend any amount of time sitting down so I'm typing quickly while standing in my kitchen. I have baked beans in the oven and am working on the laundry, it's domestic goddess day. I'm making coconut cupcakes later and then any other thing I can think of because I didn't get anything done yesterday and I felt terrible. I'm determined to be more productive today to get out of this funk. If I have to force myself through it I will, one to do list at a time. The cupcakes will help too.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

"dead people are talking to you, do the math"

So, I exercise a lot and I don't spend my whole day eating cake so it's starting to get kind of annoying that my weight never changes. I mean I'm not asking for a lot and I don't always count my calories but I have a very good idea of the calories i eat because I'm boring and I eat the same things all the time...like when I was doing weight watchers and spark people and reading labels. There are ideas that maybe I'm not eating enough calories or that I need to get my thyroid adjusted and I'm definitely not drinking enough water, they're all good ideas and I'm working on all of them but I'm still pissed off. And now I'm venting. Le sigh.

Monday, April 19, 2010

"No. But then again I'm probably lying."

The last few days I've been running part of my walks. The dogs like it and my muscles like it but my knees are on strike. There is something about how good running can feel that always surprises me. Like it's against the rules to enjoy it. Weird enough I've been feeling incredibly unfit lately and it's really pissing me off. It genuinely doesn't seem right that I walk and hike and run more each day and feel like I can breath less each time. I feel like at the pinnacle of each walk I feel more beat than I did the day before and I'm pretty sure it's supposed to go the other way. It's starting to get really annoying, like I don't have enough reminders about the nowhere I'm going. I'm really puzzled and not sure what to do about it or if there really is a root to the problem but what I do know is that I don't like feeling like dirt doing my every day things.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

"You should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer."

The weirdnesses that have occurred lately are starting to pile up and wear me down. I thought the dead bunny was like the most upsetting thing that could happen but it turns out that was just the beginning. After the bunny incident I went out alone to find the rabbit foot that Jolie left behind. Something else must have stolen it because I couldn't find it but I did find that all of the chickens had escaped their pen. The door is broken and the wind blew it open and there were chickens everywhere. I caught them all, eventually, and I figured if the bunny foot was out there the dogs would no doubt find it and I'd deal with it then. So I took the dogs out for their afternoon walk and they didn't find the foot. Yay. I thought yay until we were coming back and Knox went into the woods and came back with a leg bone. I'm telling myself it was a deer bone and Matt is telling me it was a deer bone and it's resting in the extra fridge, with the bunny, so I can make soup with it later. Heh.

That was yesterday. I didn't take the dogs out again until Matt came home because I just couldn't take it anymore. Chasing and wrestling dead things from puppies is exhausting. I had to make myself some medicinal caramel corn to relax. And then some brownies. And a cocktail. I was hoping today would be better and I was all full of hope when we took our walk...until we saw a car. Our road is private, you can tell by the no trespassing signs EVERYWHERE. And yet whenever I speak to an interloper they always say "I just realized this was a private road!" Uh huh. This morning was no different and the dudes in question drove away pretty fast...toward the highway...with the dogs following them. Neither the dogs nor the driver would stop or turn around for anything so I had to chase them up the road, yelling. It was awesome. I was pretty sure they'd follow the jeep onto the road and be killed when the little dog came back. We kept going and yelling and eventually the big dog came back and my heart rate slowed enough to walk home.

We work on come every day, every single day. But trespassers make me nervous and make them nervous and we all lose our grip just a little, Cesar would not be proud. And I really do know that it's my fault my dogs wouldn't come when I called them but I'm still mad that people drive on our private road without permission, and leave trash and shoot into the woods and steal things. If there hadn't been a tree down blocking the road I never would have caught them and I'm sure the dogs would have run the other way a few miles. These guys said they were looking for somewhere to fish but they didn't have poles and they drove away awful fast so I seriously doubt it. I'm sure they were armed and they were definitely weird and Matt has promised to drop more trees at the head of the road so I won't call him from the edge anymore. I think any amount of manual labor would be worth not having emergency calls from home every day. Personally, full time employment is looking better and better.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

"I just figured you'd be terrified, and I would be sarcastic about it."

When I call my dogs and they don't come my worst fear is they are hurt. My second worst fear is that they have found a treasure. Treasures are usually dead things or parts of dead things. Today's corpse was a bunny. Most of a bunny anyway. It's not like there is a good corpse to find but bunnies are so cute! I felt extra sad about stuffing the bunny in the broken refrigerator which has since become the dead stuff store room. Oh how I wish we didn't have a dead stuff store room.

The interview went pretty well I think. They're making a decision in the next week or so and I guess I'll know how well it went then. I'm not going to talk about how exciting the job is because that never works, I'm going to plan on being broke and bored to death at home. I will say that this job involves a lot of cake so it could be pretty awesome...and fattening.

I didn't expect to start my day with a dead bunny so I'm not really sure where my day is going from here. Anything would be up I guess.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

"I was being patient but it took too long."

Today I have a promising interview. Is that redundant? Aren't all interviews supposed to be promising. I don't know, some of them are depressing from the get go. This one sounds pretty awesome and I'm excited about it. Hopefully I come back home just as positive.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

the Don Draper contrition tour

I've been watching Mad Med all day and I have decided that I don't need to exercise anymore, I just need a corset and a hairstylist and I'll be Joan. Doesn't that sound like a good plan?

Monday, April 05, 2010

"if a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet."

Nothing, nothing, nothing...that's what I've got lately. Sat on my couch and got nothing done but some dishes, and a pot roast. I am a housewife, a bad one. Remember that show Married with Children and Peggy ate bonbons and they were broke all the time, I feel like that's my life. I know it's not the truth but that's what it feels like. Some weeks are harder than others. Having nothing to do but run the house feels like it should be awesome except it's not. It's boring beyond all recognition. I kill time all day, kill kill kill it. A hundred years ago when I thought about being home all the time I thought I'd be exercising all day and cooking all day and I'd lose a hundred pounds and write the american novel and be awesome in some third as yet unknown way but mostly it's just boring. I have clothes to fold but you know what...it doesn't matter if it gets done today because I have tomorrow...and the next day and the next day. I thrive on deadlines and pressure and getting things done and when there is nothing to get done on any particular timetable I just kind of unravel. This is me unraveling I guess.

I keep thinking of ways that I can give my day structure and turn my life into something beyond killing time. Sometimes it works. Sometimes I have whole weeks where I don't feel the crushing weight of nothing. This week is not one of those weeks and as Merry says this is a no blogging zone. I hate blogging about nothing, it depresses me and I'm sure it depresses you.