10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Things I am blocking out:

When we came home tonight Matt went in to turn on the lights and I stayed in the car with the dogs for just a minute while he got the house opened up.  And then the car started sliding.  You might remember the time we both slid down the driveway, it was no fun.  This was worse.  It would seem that every few years we get a ton of snow and then a ton of ice and then rain...which bites.  Seriously, I am so angry at rain right now.  Obviously I'm not dead but my heart is still pounding.  I couldn't get to the brake, the keys were gone so I couldn't steer from the passenger side and by then I was so freaked out I didn't even think about the emergency break I was just trying to get us all out.  You know how fred flintstone stops his car with his feet.  It was just like that but totally less effective.  I could only get one foot out because of my stupid purse and other crap so I just started yelling for Matt.  I don't think I've ever seen him run that fast, especially on that ice.  It's a minor miracle he didn't slide and fall behind the car and get run over or something.  It's more of a miracle the more I think about it, I'm totally friending Jesus on facebook.  

Matt got the driveway sanded and the car moved but you can still smell the burnt rubber and my sphincter will never be the same.  Add to that a very unpleasant week at work and one very apologetic man who asked if I was having a baby and I don't know what you get...there was supposed to math what with the adding but I don't know where I was going with that because my brain just doesn't work anymore.  No room at the inn.  And a baby?  Seriously?  I told him I was just fat and the look on his face was almost worth the embarrassment.  He said his wife is always telling him to keep his mouth shut and probably that's a wife worth listening to because dude, that's just the dumbest thing you can say to a woman kind of ever.

Anyway, this weekend had better be awesome and if it rains again I'm taking up dark magic because I'm seriously on the edge.  Seriously, seriously, seriously.


The Merry said...

Quote du jour:
You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. - Dave Barry

I'm totally friending Jesus on facebook.

Rebecca said...

oh snap...I'm glad you and Matt are ok!

and that comment from the man...damn, you should have taken his picture just to see the horrified look on his face!

if that doesn't give you some extra grace, I'm not sure what will...;)

MayQueen said...

I always give my seat on the subway to pregnant women, but now that it's winter it's very hard to decide if that's a baby bump or just a really bulky goosedown jacket. So I stay in my seat.