i read the harry potter on saturday and now i'm sortof sad that it's all over. not in a kill-joy the ending's sad way, just in an end of an era way. i wish i'd savored it a bit more. and i wish i'd read less while in the car because i still feel like my stomach is going to go all alien and burst over my work station. and maybe i shouldn't have eaten all of that ridiculously large "small" ice cream either. that probably didn't help. it was also the most frustrating part of my weekend on the "diet" front. not because i fell at the hurdle, i had planned on ice cream. one cone on the only saturday in july your boyfriend isn't working isn't so dreadful. but anyway, the frustration was because i was distracted and i ordered a small when i knew i should have gotten a kiddie size and as soon as matt got his i thought "shit, i'm going to have way too much ice cream" and then i got over it. and not two seconds later skinny bitch from massachusetts points to my cone and says "oh my god, that's the small, i'd never be able to eat all that!". and pretty much that's what i was thinking, but it still pissed me off. keep your tiny appetite observations to yourself lady!
obviously the problem here was my reaction and not what she said. i knew i had ordered too much and was way more upset than i needed to be by having had it pointed out to me by a skinny tourist. and then i was pissed when i was able to eat most of it. i kept thinking "two weeks ago i'd never have finished this". i still think that is true. i've been sort of wild and crazy this last week, as far as food goes. matt and i finished the last of the stached christmas chocolate, by which i mean matt ate 4 pieces and i ate the rest. and then i drank about 6 cokes last week. i didn't finish them but is that really the point. it's horribly true that when you bring these things back in to your life as a guest star they become season regulars way too fast. and then you use tv metaphor to symbolize that you've also been sitting on your ass a whole lot too.
all things considered 171 isn't terrible. all things considered i could also have a law degree and 7 children by now. i could also be an actress in hollywood or a bum in key west and all of these considerations and could be's are pretty much crap. i made bad choices last week. on impulse. on purpose. because i wanted to more than i wanted anything else right at that moment. i just have to accept that. so i can move on. that's what i need to do. get over it, move on, want better things more often. and less pirate growling behind the backs of tourists. aaargh!