the baby is home, safe and well. the wardrobe was built with hardly any blood loss. the scale read 174. which is way better than 196 so i'm putting on a happy face. and i got a compliment today. from a fairly mentally unstable source but why look a gift horse in the mouth? he says i look like i've lost 50 pounds. and since he only saw me from the shoulders up i'm thinking he embellished. what with the insanity. i'd much rather think he rounded up than think i looked that fat before. probably it's just one of those times that show no one really knows what a few pounds looks like.
what does a pound look like? i get that referral about 50 times a day. a pound of what, ham? are folks confused about british currency? i just assume they mean on the human body and that's an unanswerable question. all of our pounds look different. like snowflakes. no one really knows. who notices one pound? i only notice because of the scale. frankly i'm only noticing 4 pounds because of the scale. i've never woken up thinking "gee, i feel 3.5 pounds fatter today...rats!".
i didn't give mr. unstable any more information. i'm not going to ramble on and say really i've lost 26, but i've sort of gained back 4 so i guess i've lost 22 'kay, bye. not just because he's creepy, i just don't like talking about it. atleast not with people who aren't in the know. it's not that i'm ashamed or embarrassed, it's nice to have the loss noticed. it's just that i don't want to hear something like "gee, only 80 pounds more to go. good job!"
the few people who've remarked to the boyfriend about my loss, mostly his colleagues, make assessments like that. and they just have no idea. one of them thinks that every woman needs to lose ten pounds. "hehe, if she lost ten pounds she'd be hot!" how does he know? did she see her ten pounds ago? no, he's just being a jerk. people who talk like that are only telling you you'll never be good enough. no one knows what pounds are going to look like as they fall and it doesn't really matter. either you're happy or you're not. numbers are good when you're dieting, a scale to mark progess. but there's no hot-o-meter where in number of pounds equals sexiness.
i'm tired of hearing about it. i don't need the criticism, objective or not. what's the old saying? a fat girl is her own worst critic? that's not an old saying? it should be. or maybe it should be any girl is her own worst critic. but then i'm not even happy when i get a compliment so i should look up some sayings about being overly sensitive and paranoid. and rude to the mentally ill. maybe i'll check the farmer's almanac.