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10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

"H burns food so horrible, all I tastes is smoke!"

i've been listening to They Might Be Giants does the ABC'S. not having children is no reason not to enjoy this album. it's hilarious. there are some very jumpy exercise worthy songs. if anyone wants a mix write me, unless you find giggling at the gym unseemly. and me saying the weather wasn't so bad yesterday, i was full of shit. it just wasn't bad here. other poor souls lost their roofs, and a restaurant fell into the sea at old orchard beach. windy windy. but the good news is that afflicted states get two more days to file their taxes. you know things suck when taxes hold the good end of the news.

in news that's neither here nor there, the scale was way up yesterday and it freaked me the hell out. i didn't report it because i really hoped that it wasn't a lasting condition, and i was right. it came back down to 172 today. it hurts the most when you're doing the right things and something like that happens. and you think about everything you did and ate and how could cereal and two salads make you gain 5 pounds. your body, living it's life and all, betraying you. it makes me wonder what i would have said if it hadn't come back down on it's own.

i suppose if i had really gained 4 pounds, i'd get some chocolate and re-group the next day. that's what you do right? mourn for a bit and then move on. i didn't go for the chocolate but i did grab myself a soda last night, not knowing that today would be a reversal. the funny thing is that i couldn't drink it. the first few sips were ok, and then it was just way too sweet. so matt finished it. he might start to wonder if it's a ploy to steer calories his way...it might just work.

i've made a habit of telling myself no, and now even soda doesn't appeal. it's kindof fascinating retraining your own body. being your own guinea pig. all the news about the naturally skinny being creatures of habit, it's really true. if you do something long enough you accept it as the norm. like eating pasta every night for dinner when you're broke. it becomes the norm. and then you gain 30 pounds. not that i'm dwelling on my own mistakes, or anything. no, i'm really trying hard to build new habits and i think it's working.

i know i'm going to hate myself for saying this, probably tomorrow or in five minutes, but it's almost easy now. i felt like this before, i think in january or there abouts. like things were coming together and the pounds were falling off steadily and it just felt easy. i haven't gotten the falling numbers yet but the process is coming more and more easily. as long as nothing even remotely interesting happens between now and the next ten pounds...i'll be all set. i'm going to take it ten pounds at a time, work at maintaining it and go from there. i don't want to kill my easy breezy feeling with the more, faster, thinner thoughts that pop up so often. so i'm not going to think beyond 160. which is 12 pounds technically, i know. but it's my blog, i can be a hypocrite if i want to. it's in the constitution somewhere, practically verbatim. fact.

7 comments:

metamorphose said...

Thanks for reminding me that it can feel easy breezy. I had forgotten, since it's been a while since weight loss has felt easy for me.

Amy said...

it does get easier, after you shoulder your way through ridiculously hard.

pinky pinkerson said...

I have what I think is the first TMBG kid record. I liked it, before I traded it for other things. It came with really cute games and things on it.

I have a photo of myself with them, and I look strangely apprehensive.

~~Rae~~ said...

I hope the numbers keep falling for you..I used to be a soda junkie I could suck down 2 2-liters a day but last Aug I gave it up in the beginning I missed it but now I can live without it now If I could only do that with junk food I think losing weight for me would be alot easier

Amy said...

pinky p- i know there are two but i'm not sure which was first. this one is all alphabet songs. i love listening to my nieces singing it, e really does eat everything.

pinky pinkerson said...

weirdly enough - before they even started making kids' records (the one I had was called NO!, I think) my brother used to tell me how his little babies loved TMBG. And now they are eighteen and sixteen! Way to make me feel old, babies!

Amy said...

i'll make you a lil' something. i won't be the only woman sans child boppin' to the alphabet.