there's something about doing up a meal plan that makes ye hungry. maybe it's all the food, and the thinking about food, and then thinking about it some more. that's probably it. but it's a necessary evil. for both my budget, my behind and my boyfriend. (yeah the both is sort of defunct there but isn't the alliteration worthwhile? i thought so.) it's not that easy thinking of a weeks worth of food. which is sort of surprising considering how much i like food in general.
the ocd in me really likes writing that sort of thing down. a week of meals all decided. all i have to do is buy the right food and then cook it. it's the same part of me that puts the budget in three different excel spreadsheets every month. the overkill part of me maybe.
i've been spending a lot of time recently looking at why i'm back to 172 this week. for one i haven't been drinking my green tea every morning and i am very curious to see whether that makes a difference. for the other i've been super stressed about money. not that things are going badly. they're just going slightly more expensively. i can pay all my bills without trouble but things are tighter than usual. until this month i hadn't written myself into the red in about two years. march is gonna be close.
i'll always feel that poverty begets obesity. for lots of reasons but for me it's the stress. i feel more like a failure when my budget is off than when i eat something i shouldn't. i've been anticipating this move in a financial way for a long time and now that it's here i'm disappointed in the delayed gratification. next month...april...will be fabulous. but march sort of bites. and there's rather a lot of it left being only the 9th. there's nothing like a daily blog to document your impatience.
if i'm patient enough to take a whole year to lose 20 pounds, i should be patient enough to wait 5 more months to be completely free of credit card debt. it's a cake walk considering where i started. i don't think i'll ever be able to really give myself praise for getting out of this. i'll be paying for it emotionally for a long time. and yet the same mistakes led to my weight gain and i am able to positively appreciate my loss. here i thought being fat was the the bigger emotional burden. i guess my world doesn't revolve around my weight as much as my bank balance. i'm almost surprised.