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10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

on the fence

someone got here by searching "big fat aggressive hos". i can't decide why that's so hilarious but it's been cracking me up all morning. maybe because this is so not the place to find big fat aggressive hos. i'm living ho free now a days.

i've been having all these english as a second language moments lately. every email i get has some kind of spelling error, grammar error, erroneous vocabulary. earlier this week we got an email saying the budget couldn't condone buying calendars. the budget has moral authority does it? the budget hopes we'll make better choices next time. language as powertrip is less effective when used incorrectly. it's wearing me out.

i've been really paranoid lately about my own writing. while making our video my boss and i had a five minute conversation about contractions which i really hope makes the bloopers reel. geeks gone wild! it would be like ghetto school house rock. i should probably place my apology for hypocrisy here...because i know there are spelling mistakes on this blog. and grammar mistakes. the worst thing you can do when you write your blog like you're drunk doodling on a cocktail napkin is criticize the writing of others. but look, i'm doing it anyway. i'm a rebel. without a clause. ha.

i wish i could remember all of the grammar i was supposed to learn in school because it would help me now with my fastidiousness. it's hard to pull off being pompous when you can't remember how to diagram a sentence. i should buy myself Eats, Shoots, and Leaves for christmas. then i could whine with authority.

i've been thinking about how i could relate this rant to dieting and i decided i totally could. no matter who you are and what you're doing, someone thinks they can do it better. dieting, speaking, writing. there's always a loudmouth telling you what you're doing wrong. thinking about that makes me feel a little bad that we spent hours mocking the girl who gave the budget feelings. only a little though. it was pretty funny.


the budget wants you to go to your room! now!

7 comments:

Sugarcrook said...

Sentence diagrams! I do some writing and can't diagram. Every author should have terrible grammar to keep copy editors employed.

I listened to something last night on KQED talking about how kids can't diagram sentences anymore. But why should they? It's just as easy to diagram a poor sentence as it is a correct one.

I like 'Sin and Syntax', but Strunk and White still owns.

MayQueen said...

My grammar is somewhat deplorable, mostly because I was never really taught it in school. Most of what I know is instinctual - in other words, I know what works and what doesn't, but I can't tell you why.

I spend an embarrassing amount of time on the internet message boards and I have to tell you that there is nothing better than a self-righteous grammar Nazi who can't spell "grammar."

Fluffie Bunnie said...

Oh I really know what you mean. Love the budget with feelings!

We had a flyer through the door last week from the police warning us about "buglaries" in the area. Sigh.

Amy said...

in an unrelated update the girl who wrote us that the budget is tired of putting up with our 'tudes is leaving her job so she can work with people her own age. how many votes say that her monitor was belittling her and her desk chair thought she was fat?

MayQueen said...

My bed shook me awake this morning at 2:45. There was a huge explosion at a chemical plant in Danvers that's in the middle of a residential neighborhood. It looks like a tornado went through the place. And nobody was killed.

Amy said...

damn! it's amazing no one was hurt. we've been having earthquakes here like crazy. it's very disturbing.

MayQueen said...

I totally thought it was an earthquake. Or that the painting by my great uncle Earnest that my dad just gave me for safe-keeping was haunted. Either one.