it's so great to finally break 185. i just have to keep it down. we're going on vacation (to maryland) at the end of the month and i would really love to lose a few more by then. i feel kind of silly hoping for a loss so i can go on vacation and eat it all back. i know i will. i have a laundry list of restaurants to take the boyfriend to. the plan is to walk everywhere and hopefully that will counteract the eating. i have no intention of driving 12 hours to see my friends and insisting we eat salad with dressing on the side every night.
i'm also planning on a new tattoo. i had a bargain with myself that if i kept up the exercising until vacation that i could justify the new tattoo as a reward. i didn't want it to be pound based because i'm really just a little too fragile for that. "you didn't lose x pounds, no treats for you!!!" i want it to be more like a reward for building up good habits. i think i've succeeded there. i've proved myself correct that eventually i will see some change if i keep up the exercise and try to be moderate with the food.
in the vein of rocking the fatness that's been all around, i bought some cute girly clothes this weekend. i don't want to wait until i'm skinny to wear nice clothes. i might never be skinny, and then i'll just be a frumpy fat girl instead. screw that. so i had a good time on the clearance racks. i also stopped in to lane bryant. i've been popping in the last few weeks because they keep sending me coupons. mostly i look around and pass my coupon to someone else who has purchases in hand.* yesterday i took a jean skirt in to the dressing room because it looked really cute and it would have been cheap with the coupon. IT HAD BUILT IN SHORTS!** why? i just don't understand that store. they ride the very fine edge of being cool and then they screw it up. how sexy would you feel in a mini skirt with SHORTS BUILT IN? no skinny woman would wear that. why would anyone wear that? i don't deny that there is a skort demographic out there but i seriously doubt it's the same women who want washed denim mini-skirts. heads up their asses.
*the last two times i did this i've said "god bless" in a way that to me is ironic but probably they think i'm some fat promoting missionary. i'm not sure which is better.
**clearly the capitals weren't enough to display my horror.