10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Friday, August 01, 2008

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."

When I thought I was wearing that bridesmaid dress that I'm totally not wearing anymore unless the other one doesn't show up in time in which case I'll have to have my jaw wired shut to fit in it I thought I needed a new bra. You know, a dress bra. A bra that would make my DD's more like an A cup. A whale bone and titanium contraption that bends reality and mixes a really great martini. I really thought if I looked hard enough and opened my wallet wide enough I would find something that would make that dress (bigger) fit. I came to my senses and ordered another dress but not before I spent 100 dollars on new bras.

I'm blaming it on the sales girl. She was fucking amazing. If she was selling used cars off a dirt lot I'd have bought 6, heroine...I'd be a junkie, she was that good. I was only there to browse and she mesmerized me into a fitting room. She measured, chattered, and then brought me the biggest box of brassieres I've ever seen. She really had me convinced that she'd pull out nunchucks or similar if I didn't try them ALL on...so I did and ended up finding the most perfect bra ever. Really, it's the very best in breast technology, it's so perfect it practically hovers in the drawer. So I bought three. In the lexicon of things you buy in bulk when you find perfection...bras are pretty high. Bras, jeans, hair care products that stupid John Frieda discontinues, very important things one could live without but one would inevitably weep all the time.

I'm becoming such a girl in my old age, I bought cuticle cream yesterday. Cuticle cream, is there a less practical thing to spend money on? And tomorrow I schedule my next facial. Mostly these are wedding preparations but I'd be lying if I said I didn't sort of love it. It's so incredibly self indulgent to spend time and money on this sort of thing, it's awesome. I wish I'd discovered it earlier.


MayQueen said...

Oh, I need to start with the facials and the skin-clearing back massages for Tracy's wedding. Like last week.

Amy said...

Dude, seriously.