Seven deadly sins, seven-eleven, seven gables on that house in that book that time, seven Reese's peanut butter cups that I ate this weekend. Seriously y'all, seven. It's a very bad no good number. It just sort of happened. My sister was buying these big packs of them for her friends in Prague and I just couldn't seem to resist so I bought some. I looked down at the pack for a minute and there were 8, Matt ate 1 and then the pack was gone so I must have eaten 7. I have no recollection of deciding to eat seven reese's. I don't even like them that much, I simply have no explanation. My meals yesterday were cereal, salad, a bean dish for dinner and a very juicy pear for a snack. Oh, and that inexplicable pack of Rolo's that I bought out of frustration which were totally gross and which I ate anyway. So...normal, normal, normal, normal, INSANE. That's a four to one ratio so I guess I'm doing well.
I can't remember doing anything so completely insane in the last months. I've been quite hard on myself for not being perfect but I can't think of anything that was so bad. I buy and eat lots of veggies and fruit and I hardly ever buy candy. God knows I bake all the time and probably I help myself to too much so I'll have to keep an eye on that. For the most part I think I'm doing OK. I am not a whale and I do walk every day and I'm working the pilates in to my routine. It's on the plate for tonight actually and I've decided that I can't make love to James Roday in Psych until I get my pilates on.
Let us not say tv is a reward, let us say that I'm going to make the exercise my priority. I've always sort of hated the idea of rewards for doing the right thing. It's reminiscent of not being deserving unless you're skinny or killing yourself to be skinny. I've been trying to describe why I don't like it, what exactly is so bad about having a reward for what is really hard work and it's difficult. It seems like telling yourself that when you're skinnier you can do whatever you want and that's just not true so why would it be true now. I prefer to think of things in the way of priorities. It should be my priority to do pilates before entertainment. It should be my priority to eat well and exercise. Thinking about it that way helps my head. When I tell myself things like I can eat this as long as I do that it doesn't really promote me making good choices. Making that sort of deal with myself doesn't help me much, I don't want to be always looking for the next bargain when it's really just an excuse.