"You're just the torch to put the flame to all our guilt and shame"

I am right now trying to think of something to say. The weekend was sort of crappy. Uneventful when it should have been all business. What can you do. I'm trying really hard to roll with the punches. The scale is a bit up, but my twelves feel even larger than usual and my ring is about falling off. It should be tighter given the suspected water gain, but it's not. I'm starting to worry it'll just fall off one of these days. I'm almost wistful about that, though I really don't want to lose my school ring. Hood girls are weird about their rings, it's so much more than just a bit of gold to us.

I spent the weekend making Christmas crafts and baking. Because I'm 26 going on 80. I also pulled out the Halloween decoration, as Matt described it. The one and only. Last year I bought a plush Hello Kitty candy pail and I got to re-visit my neuroses when I came across it Saturday as it had the tags and the receipt still in it. PastaQueen compares compulsive shopping to compulsive eating, where does a compulsive returner fit in?

I've always been a returner. I had thought that I was getting better with my decision making but I guess not because I did a lot of returning this weekend. The skirt from Target that didn't go with the boots I bought and the boots I bought at Macy's that didn't go with that skirt, both returned. The dress from the Gap that I only bought for the skirt but then couldn't find anything that worked to cover the top, returned. The best one and the one that made Matt the most insane, which is always a bonus, was the scale. I bought the scale originally two weeks ago and I meant to buy it with my Discover bonus card thing-y. Only I tore through my bag and accidentally removed it before we left to go shopping. So I bought it with said Discover and Matt who is so good at rolling with the punches said "gee, you buy cooking crap all the time...don't worry about it". Which is totally normal. I could use it another time, but then I couldn't obsess over it like a freak. Obviously, I had to go back and buy another one with the card and then return it with the old receipt. Obviously.

Sometimes I think I could cure cancer with the brain power that goes into thinking about crap like that. Crap like if "I use this coupon at the store that doubles and I do it on a sale day then the carry the savings to the 11th power....." is always running through my head. And again I'm looking into lobotomy. It's a theme.