the chocolate barn

my idea for a bakery and chocolate shop was so good, someone else used it. they have a bad location though. suckers. i'll still stop in and buy something, just to see what they did. it doesn't bother me that much, because i really wasn't ready. it's just the day late dollar short thing is getting old. none of my shiny new job possibilities panned out but hey, atleast i didn't spend 30 plus hours in labor. there's always a silver lining. the baby and mom are fine, but damn was that an ordeal. too many hours. we'll get a nice puppy. it'll be great.

i've been off the wagon for awhile, but i haven't gained any weight. that's a plus. i did however make macaroni and cheese the other day so it's probably a matter of time. i haven't made macaroni and cheese since january when i started this whole healthy food thing. you'll be shocked to know that a meal based on white pasta and cheese isn't all that healthy. the 1/4 cup of onions just doesn't pull it's weight in the vegetable arena. there are things i could do to make it healthier, but i think anything you cook bi-annually you might as well enjoy.

i've been slacking. i haven't planned a meal for months, and i got too lazy for the daily salad production. lazy, lazy, lazy. but i've kept up my exercise. hell, i even like it. it's the only thing standing between me and accelerated fatness. i do feel less inspired lately. less inspired to watch my snacking and make sure dinner is full of vegetables every night. it just doesn't seem all that important lately. maybe it would if i were getting fatter. but since i'm not i guess i'm getting complacent. ofcourse i know if i prepared a salad for lunch every day and served lean protein with vegetables for dinner i'd be a lot skinnier right now. and then i'd have to do it for the rest of my life. maybe i'm just not up for the commitment.

i'm getting more and more happy with what i have and less focused on what i want. i can't decide if that's a bad thing or a good thing. part of me still wants to reach for that limited skirt. not being able to wear the things i want to is the biggest factor right now. i'm just not sure how bad i want it. enough to change a few things, sure. whether it will be enough i'll have to wait and see.