i was the tiniest bit crabby last night about the job thing and the future thing and the hour commute thing i'll be facing in the fall. i know how worried matt is about my sanity because he said he only needs to sell two cords of wood a month to pay the mortgage. i think he would really enjoy having a wife from the fifties and dinner on the table when he got home. but mostly he just wants me to stop being a crab all the time and if cutting and splitting two cords of wood a month will make that happen it's a fair price to pay.
i can't stop working though, not completely anyway. on the one hand i'd have lots of time to write and cook and shop for bargains (and exercise of course). on the other i'd go completely insane. oh and we'd be broke all the time. i'm just getting comfortable with the little bit of financial security i have and i'm not ready to pitch it in. if i stay in my current job i'll never earn a raise of more than .03% a year, i'll never have more than 3 weeks of vacation (and that not for two more years) and i'll never do anything more exciting than count cash and hand out receipts. i do essentially get paid to play on the internet but can that sustain me for another 30 years of working? i have to have more ambition than that. just a sliver? a molecule?
the resume is officially mailed and now i wait with a dwindling ratio of nail to finger. just like last time. and the time before that. but what i really want to know is how much y'all would hate me if i put ads up? would you stick your collective tongues out at your screens? or would it be just another thing in the sidebar you don't worry about? i really do want to know. it's just something i've been thinking about in the atypical employment department. that and alligator wrestling. hmmm.