I had a really nice bridal shower, very low key. and I was really happy with how everything went down until i realized a cousin of matt's felt really left out because her invite didn't arrive. no one told us until after the shower was over. I spoke to my mother in law about it last night and she said that since she and sil are closer she talked to her about it. yes, i can see how helpful it is to talk to my estranged sister in law about my shower instead of me, how ridiculous i am to think that my shower would have more to do with me than sil. so obvious! what was i thinking?
My mother in law is very fond of telling me how hard she tries to keep everything equal and it just now occurred to me that what she means is she did really nice things for bil and sil because she loves them SO MUCH! and she just does the same things for us because it's fair. I don't know how that escaped me before. It turns out all the feelings I thought were turning around in our relationship really haven't changed at all and it will just always be "my son and his beautiful girl....oh, and there's matt and amy". The sooner I accept that and stop expecting something different the less it will hurt.