A while back I was getting my gloat on about how little sugar I needed to survive. Sort of like methadone. Only the last few days my theory has bit the dust because every time I have tea with sugar I feel ill. Sugar is trying to kill me and I don't like it, the whole thing is un-american. I guess slightly sweet tea is no longer my opiate of hunger and I'll have to start eating food or something. Speaking of which I bought a cantaloupe yesterday and I already sliced her up so there won't be any explosions this time around. It was a very motivating explosion. If I thought everything I didn't deal with in a timely matter would blow up I'd never have a to do list.
I've been using the slightly sweet tea to take me through mealtimes without needing a lot of snacks. I'm in this whole "it worked before!" mindset but seriously this isn't before and if before had gone so well there wouldn't be a before there would just be a skinny now with a different wardrobe. This is me letting go of "what worked before" because that was what, two years ago and things have changed a lot. It's really easy to lose weight when all you eat is pizza and dessert and you switch to yogurt. When you're eating yogurt and salad and you still need to lose weight things are different and also you're older and essentially I'm saying it's no good to whine about what used to work because that day is not today. I'm not making so much sense what with the nausea so bear with me while I try to convince myself to move forward instead of navel gazing the past.
In the present I haven't had to change my meals all that much, mostly I watch portions better and send all of matt's treats to work with him and it had been working. I had started looking at new foods and meals to get the things I need without adding points I don't need but most days I don't plan snacks. I see how many points I have after adding my planned meals and then I just eat whatever until I'm out of points. This is not a plan, just a series of reactions to situations and what I might have in the house. I definitely have the time and I'm working up the motivation (really wish something would explode) to plan my whole day and build a routine.
I had the most success in a routine environment where I couldn't get whatever I wanted whenever. My last year has been a little like that but also putting me into a lot of unsolicited food situations and had me driving past fast food twice a day which is really out of the norm for me. I can count on my hands the number of times I stopped but it's one of those things the more you do it the more it seems like the thing to do and I so don't need to go there. I'd do best locked in a room all day with a hole for a food tray, like solitary confinement. Makes me wonder why no one's invented the prison diet.