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10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

"I'm not sure I should give bullets to a woman with a pimple."

I almost just left Rebecca a two page comment so I guess that's where I'll start. I find myself lately to be a weightloss blogger who hasn't lost any weight in, uhm, I guess about two years. I've pretty much maintained my size 12 and though my body is always changing I haven't lost any more weight. I can't say that I really care. I'd like to, I really really would but if I did I'd be sucking down slimfast and joining a gym and whatever else it is that people who really want to be skinny do. Maybe get a tapeworm. My real goal lately has been to find exercise that I enjoy that doesn't hurt my body, a diet that makes me feel good physically and emotionally and in general to live a healthy balance.

The priorities in my life have shifted so much recently that I find myself juggling a lot of things and "me" is pretty much always at the bottom of that pile. I'm trying to reinvest in myself a little lately, particularly with food because I've been feeling like crap. I don't want to feel like crap so I have to try harder. This week I'm trying something new, salads for lunch and omelets for breakfast. I'm trying to automate two meals a day to keep up some kind of routine. My client is almost never hungry and when she is she likes to eat out and I'm still trying to get a handle on that because I'm sure it's part of why I feel so awful. I try to order just a salad but she gets a little crazy when I do but I'm just going to have to stand my ground because otherwise my stomach is hiring a hitman.

Exercise, actually I'm getting a ton. Part of my job is walking and part of my home obligations are walking so on the days that we do some extra special hard labor or I get some matwork in I'm already ahead on exercise. I definitely don't think about it the way I used to, MUST EXERCISE OR WILL DIE FAT. I try to do everything now to feel better, although the Tracy Anderson mat is all about vanity but it's still working my arms in new ways and building up endurance. Horrible, horrible endurance. She says when it starts to get easy you aren't doing it right...I'm sure she's going to retire to be a dominatrix. That's how I get through a session...imagining her in black spandex with a whip. Weightloss and health are just so personal.

5 comments:

The Better Idiot said...

I think so long as your happy with where you are then screw other people. You've got an active lifestyle and as you said you don;t think about things the way you used tom and that's fine.

Re: your comment on my comments (er...) I'm thinking of hitting delete on a couple. It may be bitchy but there is one commenter in particular that just doesn't seem to get that the message is for them. I mean, the day after I posted the comment rant she left me a comment with her link in the bottom again and if there had been some way to reach through the screen to strangle her. Disproportionate response? why yes, but it drives me crazy. It makes me feel like a bitch but maybe if I start deleting she'll get the message? I don't know.

Rebecca said...

WOW...who knew that post would elicit such commentary...i'm beginning to feel like dooce!

hahahaha...i'm with you...the problem is i'm ok with how things are. i mean , i think ive found that weight where i cant go over because then i'll feel all gross and icky...

more than anything, my post dealt with my frustration about not being able to workout...and my back issue...

Amy said...

Realizing there are things beyond losing weight is important, christ your back is more important than anything else could ever be...ya know.

Rebecca said...

uh huh....nodding in agreement...

also, do you know if we get parking at the hotel we are staying at?

i think im driving down and wondering where im gonna park my heap!

Amy said...

I dunno. probably, it's a nice hotel. can you call? your name is on the res too.