"she irons her jeans, she's evil"

These are the running sneakers I bought the fall before I moved out of Bar Harbor, two years ago. I was very careful to only wear them for running, to protect my investment and also because they're super white nikes and not exactly my every day style. I bought some new running sneakers this summer because apparently you're supposed to replace your running shoes after every third run or something so two years seemed about right. I've been wearing the old ones around the house, for running when it rains so my new shoes don't get trashed, I've worn them every day for wreath making. Every other piece of clothing I've worn down in the shop is trashed, pitch and dirt and spray glitter and yet these sneakers are like they're out of the damn box. I think maybe they're possessed. There's no other explanation. My sneakers might be evil, definitely undead. No other explanation for them being so damn white after two years of use.