10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

''I was busy shoveling coal into my styrofoam factory. Enjoying some roast penguin.''

Do you ever have a day where your perfect horoscope would read: You will be unreasonable today, probably because you're high on sugar. You'll also want to avoid operating heavy equipment or logging into sparkpeople.com because it will make you cry. It's probably the excess of the guilt as I mentioned in the previous comments. It's filled up my body and is drowning my brain right now. What would Jesus eat? Jesus would not have chocolate mousse cake for breakfast and then follow it up with Thai food for lunch. Jesus is much better at tracking his spark food than I am and Jesus prefers Chinese anyway...'specially the crab rangoon. Loaves, fishes, cream cheese...excellent.

Clearly I'm a nutcase today, an overfed crazy person with a strong desire to nap. I had all these awesome plans for today, awesomer than napping. I was all into kickboxing tonight. It's kickboxing night you see...it's on the calendar. It's set in stone and sturdy sneakers. I'm trying very hard to be the person who has a list and who does all the things on her list every day. It's actually working out very well. I love writing things down and crossing them off with a flourish like eating breakfast is an accomplishment. I suppose now it is an accomplishment, as long as it's not cake fulfilling the requirement.

I'm feeling a little guilty over the choices I have made today. I re-rigged my day on spark so that my calories are pretty darn close to the top of my range. It's not reasonable to expect that I won't eat anything for dinner and I can't start my day over so it will just have to do. And you know, my range is well below a normal 2000 calorie diet so it's not like I ate 42 cheeseburgers for lunch and am trying to pass it off as normal. Today is a little high in calories but yesterday was low and maybe I don't need the inner "you suck" dialogue all day. It's not a co-worker's birthday every day and I didn't spend all last night baking and whipping and melting to not have half a small piece of cake today. Three bites of chocolatey deliciousness and a tofu stir fry have my brain spinning like I ate three meals at the Golden Corral meat buffet.

I didn't need to eat cake for breakfast but I don't need to over-react. It hardly ever helps when I freak out over one thing. There's most of a cake left back there and I so don't need to have any more, better to just get over it and look forward to my kickboxing to dig myself out of this deep ass calorie hole.


HappyBlogChick said...

You said "Today is a little high in calories but yesterday was low and maybe I don't need the inner "you suck" dialogue all day."

Heck no, you don't need that dialogue!

I don't know enough about SparkPeople, but does it allow for some flexibility in daily calorie intake/flexible restraint?

It mentions flexible restraint here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/your_weight/reaching_maintain.shtml

You may be all over the flexible restraint thing, but I want to mention it just in case. I hate to see you beating yourself up one day when you had a low-cal day yesterday.

Either way, hang in there and chin up!

Lauren said...

I pardon you, enough with the guilt, I have enough to cover both of us.