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10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Friday, January 04, 2008

"I throwdown in the kitchen, amongst other places"

I cleaned my house last night. It's so clean, in fact, that Matt said he didn't feel at home. He's pining for the junk. Or maybe it's because I put all his stuff in a box and burned it. No, not really. I told him to eat it because it's taken me 10 months to get the house to have a semblance of the order and cleanliness to which I aspire. As much as I like stuff, I like space more and I'm just plain tired of living between piles of crap.

In the way of what to write on your weightloss blog when you're waiting for your grandiose start date (which normally is bullshit and I'd like to think I'd call myself on it but this here is a genuine icky, mouth-breathing, must rest necessity) I've been pondering what I want my life to look like, you know, in the future. I want to be the person who just washes the two plates and a pot instead of saying I can do that tomorrow. I want to be the person who just opens the bank statement and files it instead of making a pile six months high first. Those seem like little do-able things to me. Actually, have any of you seen the movie Proof? I want to be the anal retentive sister with the list in her day planner but I think that might be too much to ask for.

How can I exercise every night and be too lazy to wash dishes and sort a days' worth of papers? It's the sort of laziness that makes more work for you in the end, which makes me wonder what kind of laziness doesn't make more work for you in the end. I have no answer so I guess I should just stop being lazy because it's illogical. Ha. The truth of the matter is that I trained myself to be a person who exercises every night and not to eat every cookie I bake and I can train myself to be a person who works tasks as they come. I trained the goldfish to eat off my finger, I can train me to throw away old receipts. The IRS will not care that I bought soymilk and yogurt in June of '06. If I could write that off I'd have found a way by now.

It seems to me that I've had an epiphany of late, possibly since my birthday, that maturity isn't going to come find me and tap me on the shoulder like Ed McMahon or the Grim Reaper. I have to, like, make the decision to act on it all on my lonesome. I've been waiting for my life to fall into place when, uhm, I've been the one at the wheel the whole time. Little things big things, I put them all on the backburner for no real reason. I'm not curing cancer in the interim, I'm twidling my thumbs thinking about what I'll do someday. Screw that, this is a year of doing and acting even if it is just a year of having a neat house I'm proud of. I'm out of debt, I can change jobs if I want or take a trip, start a business or write a spy novel. I want to do something for me this year that isn't just about getting into shape. Something in addition to that. Something to further my petition for adulthood. In my own mind anyway.

9 comments:

MayQueen said...

This morning I was telling the coworkers about determined laziness, like sometimes I'll drop something on the floor at home and I'm so determined not to waste the energy on bending over that I will stand there for five minutes trying to pick it up with my toes. Also, I am guilty of the receipt hoarding. I still have paystubs from Hood. When will I ever need those again?

Amy said...

Matt has every pay stub he's ever recieved and guess who sorted by year and filed those after 8 months of them sitting on the floor? He insists on keeping them and yet does nothing with them, and never ever will. Next time it's a bottle of lighter fluid. And also, I miss your toes!

pinky pinkerson said...

I am very close to having all my papers and important classifiable and nonclassifiable documents safely contained in one two-drawer filing cabinet. it has taken me a long time , some angst and much shredding to get to this moment.

I just have two folders of paperwork to shred, about fifteen minutes of filing, and I will be done.

It feels really nice. It is my last task from changing "my office" (aka dumping ground for everything) into the baby's room. I would have never gotten so organized if I didn't feel compelled to by an outside force, I have to admit.

Amy said...

If I had an office, or say a closet, I would so have stacked all that crap in there until we moved, or forever. I guess it's a good think Matt didn't build any closets.

HappyBlogChick said...

Wow, "How can I exercise every night and be too lazy to wash dishes and sort a days' worth of papers? It's the sort of laziness that makes more work for you in the end ..."

That is me, and it *is* more work. I've blocked off my entire weekend to sort papers. How sad is that?

Hilly said...

One of my silent resolutions this year is also to be "that girl". I put off everything due to what? Sheer laziness? I have no idea.

Until I got sick too, it was going really well but I plan to continue on next week. I almost believe that if I really get healthier, I'll be less tired and less lazy. I sure hope so anyway.

Lauren said...

Great Post, but um...why did you train the goldfish to eat off of your finger?

Amy said...

A whole weekend of papers, bless you!

Yeah, I have a ton of plans for when I'm not dying but I think I'll still be sitting on the couch much of the available time.

I used to sell goldfish and koi, it's more fun to pet fish than you'd think.

Crabby McSlacker said...

Awesome post, I can SO relate to this.

I think there's a "mental effort" quotient that should at least have the courtesy to burn some calories. I'm already dreading tax season.

Re: "maturity isn't going to come find me and tap me on the shoulder..."

I laughed when I read that, because that's so what I've been hoping would happen.