Whoops! I came back in to edit again my totally screwed up post from this morning and lost it, which is probably fine because it was a stinking mess. Update from yesterday, I totally agreed with Sarah and didn't try to eat a day's worth of protein in one meal. I would have had to eat an entire cow to catch up and it was easier to just eat my damn salad and get over it.
I had written before that I hate all my clothes and am super determined to get to the next size so I can go shopping. I think vanity really is my impetus and why not take advantage? If that's the thing that lights a fire under my ass to stick to my plan and my journal and get some serious exercise every day, why not be vain? Right now I should be taking a walk but it's raining, freezing rain raining. It's got me feeling very housebound and maybe I'll feel like working off some steam when I get home. I know I'll sleep better for it. It'll be nice to feel exhausted from hard work as opposed to just being ill.
Since I couldn't take a walk at lunch I did my grocery shopping instead. I spent the least I've spent for a week of food in months. Funny how when you plan things work in your favor. And seriously if my windows crash again I WILL GO INSANE. At home I keep losing my screen, it just keeps going black...but with all the programs still running. It's great fun, like windows roulette. I almost had a weigh-in roulette too but I guess I was just distracted. I always do the weighing thing after my shower and today I did it wearing my towel. Wet terry cloth is damn heavy. Sans towel I had a weigh in of 175.6 which is fine considering the vast amount of sugar I ingested yesterday.
That reminds me of how I ended the post I lost, the twenty cups of tea thing. I did the math and realized that I could have had twenty cups of tea for that damn bottle of orange soda. I'd probably have to seal my teeth with the stuff they use on driveways but still, that's value for money. I decided that I need to look at all bottled drinks that way, do I need to waste that many calories on a beverage? While I was killing time at the grocery store I poked around in the breakfast aisle and sort of spread that epiphany around. Long ago and far away I used to get myself strawberry frosted poptarts for breakfast. Not all the time, because I was broke...not health conscious, but enough that now looking at the calories makes me sort of want to cry. 200 calories per tart. And you know you're going to eat two because they package them that way. How many people take the superfluous tart and wrap it up for tomorrow? Exactly, no one does that. Makes my pre-sweetend instant oatmeal look like it's wearing wings and a halo. Which is what I was after, validation for my choices. It's good to have perspective when you're teetering on the edge of a snack attack.
3 comments:
I once had a boyfriend whose poor eating habits inspired delight in me, as I was raised eating skinless chicken breasts and steamed cauliflower.
(did it make me thin? the opposite, actually)
His favorite treats were funyuns, little debbies of all kinds, orange soda, and pop tarts for breakfast. Always. occasionally we would share a two-pack, but that was rare. We both preferred to have two. I don't think the man ever saw an egg or a bowl of cereal.
I often feel justified in having a little ice cream because atleast I don't eat as much as Matt. Which is ridiculous because he has ten inches on me and still weighs 30 pounds less. Then I purposely buy him the soda he likes and the chips he likes and all the things, in his perfect world, he wouldn't eat at all because they aren't good for you, just to torture him and with no remorse. Very little anyway.
Shopping! That's a big motivation for me. I'm using it as a carrot.
I want to go new-clothes shopping AND shopping in my own closet.
I pity my bank account after I reach goal.
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