*

10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

"How can women be as thin as we are? We have personal trainers to work us out. We have specially prepared meals."

I was doing my daily troll for Buffy quotes when I found this one from Sarah Michelle Gellar. I really like it, it's so honest. I hate it when starlets confess eating whatever they want and having crazy amounts of food like the properties of science don't exist in their bodies. In their world eating a whole sandwich is a crazy huge amount of food, and then they go and work for 14 or 20 hours a day. That's not a fair comparison, that's not a real world scenario. It sort of makes me think more highly of the Oprah's and the Kirstie Alley's of the world. It's your job to be skinny and you failed, admitting that takes some balls.

I'm really relieved that it's not my job to be skinny. I stink at it. Or, in other words, we had waffles for dinner last night. Waffles and high fructose fake ass maple syrup. It's not really my fault, you see, there's this chicken. I pulled a whole chicken out of the freezer last saturday for a nice warm dinner for Matt on Sunday. The chicken, it was not thawed. Fair enough, we'll do it Monday. Monday, it was still hard as a chicken shaped glacier in my fridge. I've been having salads for dinner so it's no big if the chicken is still on ice, for me anyway. Meanwhile, Matt is starving to death. I fed him everything we had that wasn't also frozen. Last night was supposed to be chicken night, 4 days later it was still frozen beyond all reason and there was no Matt food left. So we had waffles. I could have had a salad, a very cold salad, but I didn't...I had waffles and butter and syrup.

I'm banking on that chicken being defrosted tonight. Can you die from eating chicken that was cooked while still frozen? Will this very post be used against me when Matt's family sues me for conspiracy to commit murder? Aggravated assault with poultry. I think it was more dangerous when it was solid, and hurling it would burn a lot of calories. Anyway, I'm tired of this chicken, making me eat waffles. I'm going to enjoy roasting his ass.


*edited to add that I need not fret over the chicken because Matt is bringing home Moose meat. E. Gads.

7 comments:

Debbi said...

No, you're not going to die if you cook a not-quite-defrosted chicken. But don't sue me if you do! Seriously, I've done that many times. Another thing I do is throw a frozen chicken in a slow cooker on the lowest setting, cook it overnight and maybe the next day, as well. Then use the meat for chicken chili. Yum.

Hilly said...

Hahaha, you can totally eat a chicken that has been baked while frozen. My lazy impatient ass does it all of the time.

Waffles sound good...must look away.

i i e ee said...

"I'm really relieved that it's not my job to be skinny. I stink at it. Or, in other words, we had waffles for dinner last night."

Some of my favorite lines ever. Probably will quote you someday.

Amy said...

you're a flatterer!

Me said...

Try takign it out of the fridge and thawing it in the sink, that's what I do.

Lauren said...

ah moose meat...something I miss from home, okay, I don't actually miss it from home, but I miss the idea that it is something I could get if I ever EVER wanted to eat it. (Moose is really more my dad's thing)

Amy said...

I'm sort of relieved I won't be here when he cooks it, but he's really excited about it.