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10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Inches away...

I almost bought a new Macbook this weekend. Maybe not even inches, maybe it was centimeters. I was a click away from free shipping and Apple goodness at my fingertips. I pulled away at the last second, it would not be a responsible decision to buy a new computer right now. Next time though, the next time I'm home in tax free NH I'm buying one. So I'd better get my saving on between now and then. I was a very responsible shopper this weekend, I only splurged on a pair of clearance jeans at the Gap in a size 10A. A for Ankle, or Amy is short. But damn, a 10. I can honestly say that I never thought that would happen. Ever.

It's a little anti-climactic because while they fit better than my 12's, they don't look that great. No, that's not true. The jeans look great, it's the flesh that is not contained by the jeans that looks awful. I need a full-body jean, a jean jumpsuit. Or a girdle. Or more sit-ups. A lot more sit-ups. It occurs to me that I'm not going to be really happy with my body for a long time. I get to a point and I feel better than I ever have and then I move down a size and I feel like crap again. I am always reading my archives to keep some perspective, to remember what I could be going through. Last year, tomorrow, I was buying new jeans in a size 14 and worrying about taking my diet control too far. This year I don't think I'm being careful enough about the food I'm eating (see fastfood entry below) and I'm hating on my size 10 body. Maybe next October I'll have some balance to reflect on.

7 comments:

Sugarcrook said...

I forgot to mention it, but the new version of OSX is coming out on the 26th, so you'll definitely want to wait for that. New versions of the operating system typically bring upgrades to the hardware as well, so waiting a few weeks might not be the worst idea.

PastaQueen said...

I've noticed that since I've been at the same weight for the past several months I've more prone to look at the last 16 pounds I want to lose instead of the 196 pounds that are gone. I think it's just easier to see what's there instead of what's gone. I still look rockin', I guess I'm just getting more used to it though, like building up a tolerance to morphine.

Amy said...

I knew I was holding out for good reason!

You're right, I think morphine would help.

pinky pinkerson said...

your annoying body is your annoying body, I have to say. Not that you are the same as me, but I found my size six bod to be almost as irksome as my size 20 bod.

(but I did logically know that it was preferable. That, and I could find lots of clothes, and could fit more easily between parked cars)

Amy said...

yes, in my head i know it's so much better i just thought i'd be happier and that's the dissapointing part. and also, i'm glad you found a whale onesie because I was trying to make my own and it wasn't working out...not that i've given up completely. whale graphics just aren't what they used to be.

pinky pinkerson said...

aw!

losing weight is both everything you thought it would be and nothing you thought it would be. That has sent more than one formerly-fat person I've known to therapy, and I kind of wish I had found someone good for that myself. Maybe then I might have not gotten fat again, twice.

Lauren said...

congratulations? You know, I have to say, that even though I'm in a size 26 now, I sometimes look in the mirror and like what I see, and sometimes I look in the mirror and feel disgusting, and I have a picture to look at on those days of what I looked like 75 lbs ago. Seriously, it helps.