I almost bought a new Macbook this weekend. Maybe not even inches, maybe it was centimeters. I was a click away from free shipping and Apple goodness at my fingertips. I pulled away at the last second, it would not be a responsible decision to buy a new computer right now. Next time though, the next time I'm home in tax free NH I'm buying one. So I'd better get my saving on between now and then. I was a very responsible shopper this weekend, I only splurged on a pair of clearance jeans at the Gap in a size 10A. A for Ankle, or Amy is short. But damn, a 10. I can honestly say that I never thought that would happen. Ever.
It's a little anti-climactic because while they fit better than my 12's, they don't look that great. No, that's not true. The jeans look great, it's the flesh that is not contained by the jeans that looks awful. I need a full-body jean, a jean jumpsuit. Or a girdle. Or more sit-ups. A lot more sit-ups. It occurs to me that I'm not going to be really happy with my body for a long time. I get to a point and I feel better than I ever have and then I move down a size and I feel like crap again. I am always reading my archives to keep some perspective, to remember what I could be going through. Last year, tomorrow, I was buying new jeans in a size 14 and worrying about taking my diet control too far. This year I don't think I'm being careful enough about the food I'm eating (see fastfood entry below) and I'm hating on my size 10 body. Maybe next October I'll have some balance to reflect on.