10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Monday, September 17, 2007

wow, that picture blows

the thing about the camera phone is that it sortof sucks. it's not a camera and it's barely a phone and i would really hate it if i didn't on purpose spend so much money on it with the premonition that i would regret doing so almost immediately. i just can't give myself the satisfaction, if you know what i mean. but here is my ever-increasing pilates library. can you tell that there are six ana caban dvd's there. what you can't see is the toner ring and balance ball that i also bought. i'm single handedly keeping gaiam in business, or my employer is anyway.

this is not the toning ring set that i have, but hell if i can find it. i pulled it out on saturday to see what it was like. i did my usual weights and stepper workout* too just incase i didn't go the distance with the toner ring. i didn't go the distance with the toner ring, incase you were wondering, but i did love it. it kicked my ass. i estimate i got about 20 minutes into the 40 minute program. i only did half and it still kicked my ass. yesterday my thighs burned as i walked up the mountain and today my arms are still sore. it's awesome.

i've missed the way my muscles feel when i really exercise them. i stopped stepping every day when i started running every day. when i stopped running every day i didn't start anything new unless you count whining. i did the same pilates, the same daily walks, ate the same more or less careful meals and i maintained. and somehow that surprises me. i've been trying to re-establish the mindset that i had when i started out and it's required a hell of a lot of thinking. more than i thought. deeper than i thought. ironic that the deep thinking is deeper than i thought the thinking would be.

i spent this weekend alone because matt is having a fantastically busy period at his job. it was a little lonely but it was a good opportunity to see what choices i make when i'm completely on my own. they were all awesome choices. i make really great choices 95% of the time and i have to accept that it is not enough. i've been living a maintained life with a maintaining mindset and hello, i'm not ready to do that. it's a lot fun and it's comfortable but it's not getting me what i want. it's time to start pushing the envelope again. it doesn't matter what used to work or what works for other people. i have to find the combination of diet and exercise that will make me lose now. the person i am now needs to find a new combination of efforts to meet my goals. it's a lot like starting over, but with higher expectations. i hope they don't hold me back.

*what, weights. i never talk about weights. one of the other things i realized i haven't been doing like i used to is to hit ye olde stepper machine every day. i used to do that every day with co-ordinating hand weights. hehe, and i wonder where my ooomph went.


PastaQueen said...

I've been feeling the same way lately. I've decided to start really getting into running and I'm planning my meals a bit more diligently. I've basically been in maintenance mode for the last couple of months and I'm going to kick into weight-loss mode again.

I am very jealous of your Ana Caban collection. Mine is only 1/3 the size of yours.

kimberly said...

I know what you mean about maintaining! I'm at a point with my Zumba workouts where it's all I do right now, and because I do it so much I think it's all I have to do, but it isn't working me out like it used to so I have to add stuff, and while it's great to feel my muscles feeling "worked-out" again, it's not easy challenging myself, as opposed to just keeping on with the same ol' stuff. :) And I wonder why the numbers don't go down! ;)

Amy said...

i'll have to let you know which ones are good, i just grabbed every one with ana in it.

it all makes me wonder how hard it will be to maintain at goal. i'm hoping courage and will replace all that fat.