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10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

cathartic

i don't actually have any idea what this new thing is that i'm going to do. i just know that i need to stop trying to put the round thing in the square hole and going batshit when it doesn't work out. i do, however, have a great desire to toss my scale. part of me is convinced that if i had a new one it would show me a new and improved truth and i could go blithely on. in reality, if i bought a new scale, it might be more accurate but probably it won't give me a magically skinny number. probably it will be a lot higher and make me very sad.

getting a new scale is something i've been considering for a while, getting rid of the scale all together is something i didn't consider until last night. i'm a little nervous about the prospect. on the one hand it would be a really good shake-up and give me a chance to see just how well i maintain in my natural environment. on the other hand i won't have the data that keeps me in certain parameters. i just might need that data to keep going.

you see, before 2006 i didn't have a scale and hadn't set foot on one for years. i went years without knowing the numbers and can track my weight through history only by the clothes i was wearing at the time. when pq did her driver's liscense post it was the first time that i considered what i put on my own liscense in 2004. i guessed at 185 and now that i think about it, i guessed pretty damn high as i was wearing the same sizes i am now at about 15 lbs less. it's ye olde adage that how we feel about our bodies doesn't always reflect reality. but the moral of the story is that when you don't pay attention on such an epic scale it's very easy to wake up one day and weigh 40 pounds more than you thought. whoops! and i really don't want that to happen again.

i wrote most of the above yesterday and then i left it. i really feel nervous about the idea of ditching the scale and i just wasn't ready to put it out there. i think it's been very good for me to put a number on the various stages my body has been through lately. 175 was when my doctor commended me for losing 20 pounds, a very validating moment. 170 is known as the age of compliments, they've been coming in daily the last few weeks and that's good validation too although it sometimes makes me uncomfortable. i'm ready to know what 165 will bring and it's well beyond time to make that happen for real.

the idea behind going scaleless is that it's the one thing i haven't tried. i have never tried to let go and just be healthy and exercise how i want to and not have expectations every morning. that might be a good thing all around, just letting go. and also i feel like introducing my 5 dollar scale to one of matt's big ass sledgehammers would be very cathartic. and calorie burning.

3 comments:

PastaQueen said...

I know Marla ditched her scale and it turned out pretty well. She used measurement pants to see if she was losing weight.

I always consider the scale weight to be an estimate. I rarely ever weigh-in the same two days in a row. Usually I fluctuate within 2 or 3 pounds during a week and during my period I gain 5. I was always a bit surprised that your weigh-ins were so consistent from day-to-day because mine bounce all over the place.

If you do destroy the scale, take pictures for us! I'm sure I'm not the only one who would love to see a pulverized scale Flickr set.

Amy said...

the consistency is one of the things that makes me wonder about it's accuracy. but then it's not digital so i don't know if it's closer to 170.9 or 170.1, but the needle doesn't move that much. it's easy to see when things are going up but more difficult to chart the itty bitty comings down. but then it could be that my body just doesn't do things on the quick, or should that be obvious to me by now.

MB said...

The scale is cruel and usually doesn't tell the whole story. The numbers make me crazy. When the numbers on the scale are down I feel good and want to stay on track but when the numbers are up I'm miserable and and want to give up.

I think it is great if you can give up the scale and judge your progress on how you feel.

I want to see the smashed scale photos too!