171. one pound, one day. i can dig it. it's not all that hard avoiding the simple sugars. the structure is just the jolt i needed to be more mindful of what i should be doing. i don't have to cut those things out, i'm choosing to. this is all about choices not directives from on high. it'll do me good to remember that this is what i want.
the peppy pep talk to keep me on the straight and narrow (or the queer and still somewhat wide, whatever) and now for gossip. apparently our trainee lost 125 pounds last year. i don't have a lot of these stories in my real life, people losing a lot of weight and changing their lives in my own neighborhood, it's sort of novel. i would be envious if i saw that she ate more than a pack of peanut butter crackers and a diet soda all day. it makes you wonder if eating a lot of bad food is better or worse than eating a little bad food. i'm just not sure.
on the exercise front, i must be doing more walking because my legs are falling off. it's very cool. there's something very marquis de sade about exercising to lose weight. i like it when it hurts. it makes me feel like i'm working my body hard enough and that lets my mind rest. it's great too because i've remembered my sneakers and haven't have any trouble with shin splints. it's better if it's just my muscles getting a workout and not tearing away from the bone. i hate that. i even hate typing it. if i think about it too much i'll pass out so whenever it pops into my head i have to think about kittens. furry ones. which reminds me there was a beat up looking cat at the dentist this morning (they wanted paying) that i wanted to take home. but it has a collar so it must have a home somewhere. actually, thinking about sad bloodied cats makes me want to pass out too. tricksy sensitive brainses.
that reminds me of my mom and her refusal to watch any part of the lord of the rings trilogy that wasn't hobbits or talking trees. which makes me think of cake, which is bad because i do not want cake. and now i will go read a book so the stream of consciousness thing going on doesn't kill anyone with boredom, or force me to go to the bakery. a few times.