that's not what i had intended to write about today. i was thinking i could talk about how mad i am that the hormones a'cometh right when i'm all ready to rock and are farking up my scale, or the latest fire in my kitchen which is a perennial favorite, or how i dropped a carton of pete and gerry's organic eggs in my kitchen and now i need a recipe that uses 6 eggs. accidentally telling the world wide web you're getting married can be so distracting. speaking of which, i can't wait to tell matt about it and watch him twitch. what's love for if you can't torment your beloved for your own amusement.
i hadn't really settled on a topic, they're all so exciting. i really love buying new bamboo kitchen utensils and then leaving them near the gas range. who thought it would only take a month for the first fire to pop up. and matt said "maybe we should get a fire alarm". yeah babe, maybe we should get on that.
the hormones and the scale are pretty self explanatory. and yet every month i forget and i spend a few days feeling like a bad, bad dieter. i moved the scale around looking for a better spot for five minutes before i remembered that it's not the scale, it's the ass. and the water retention. i'm always so willing to believe that i gained 3 pounds in a day. it's amazing more people don't cop to shooting jfk, all the guilt we carry around.
oh, and the eggs. two seconds after telling matt the groceries were delicate, i let the bag fall off the chair. ca-thunk crash crack. i'm way too cheap to let pricey organic eggs get tossed, so all the reasonably not too nasty ones got cracked into a tupperware bowl. which should be fine for a day or so. only thing is i put six in one bowl. whoops. i know you can mix it up and then divide by six or three or whatever (here comes the dread kitchen math again) but that sucks. i really wanted a recipe that asks for six eggs. and can i tell you not even quiche wants six eggs. i could make a ridiculous chocolate cake, but that's not really in the spirit of the diet.
my options are to make three times the recipe of cookie dough and freeze it or i can guesstimate two eggs and make a rum cake that freezes well with the other four. i haven't decided yet. i had intended to make a rum cake anyway, because we have a lot of rum around (i don't know why, neither of us drinks it) and freezing it would keep me from taste testing. i have to decide today because i don't know how long eggs are good out of their native habitat. and i don't really want to eat scrambled eggs for five hours on end. not that there's anything wrong with that. except the puking. could there be a worse time for the what to bake with these rich calorie laden ingredients challenge?