we bought a genuine home theatre system last night. actually i guess i did. part of our financial arrangement, the one where i buy the food and run wild with my moderate amount of power, seems to be that i buy the entertainment things and he buys the washing machines. it's sort of an unspoken thing. technically i win because i'm way too cheap to spend a grand on speakers but that's probably what he'll spend on the washer. see, i'm a kept woman. lucky me. but anyway, home theatre. they're expensive bastards. which is probably why i've always bought the forty dollar walmart version in the past. the kind that lasts two years if you're really nice to it. so it was worth doing the dorky consumer reports thing. i hope. i'm excited for ana caban in surround sound, i can't wait to hear her say that thing about her perky buns. that'll kick some perky ass in surround sound.
i was hoping this would be a spending free month but i'm not that upset about it, there are some things that are investments in the quality of your life. and while we could live without movies, cells would divide and all, it would be kind of boring. we live without cable and internet, no need to go too far. i can hardly believe how calm i am lately. it's great actually. i haven't felt like eating all the cookies that are still in my house, i haven't thought about them in days. i'm hardly even thinking about money and numbers anymore. direct link to cookie ignorance there i'm sure. i still check out the numbers once in a while, still pining for the day i'm out of debt.
i used to think about all the things i would buy when i got out of debt. which is a pretty good indicator of how i got into so much trouble in the first place. it's sort of like when you're on a crash diet and all you can think about is what you'll eat when the diet is over. a continuation of the problem and not a solution at all. i think that's pretty much why i can be so calm now. i'm not thinking of the things i'll spend money on when i'm out of debt anymore. i'm thinking about how much i can save and what i'll do with it.
as documented for over a year in addition to the fat, i have no idea where my life is going. what i want to do, if i want to go back to school, if i want to start a business. i'm always trying to think about what i really want to do. that's where the bakery idea came from. which would still be great fun if it didn't scare me to death. now i'm thinking of something else that would put together a lot of the things i love. something that will take some time and money to make happen. i'm thinking about a bed and breakfast. what's my favorite thing in the whole world? having people visit and cooking for them. it would give me an outlet for all my dreams of extravagant victorian hostessing.
it's a thought anyway. a thought that will require patience and the saving of money and will give me enough time to decide if i'm really dedicated to the idea. and if i change my mind i'll still have a bunch of money saved and i can go get drunk in mexico and forget all my troubles. the point to all this rambling is that i'm finally living like i'm going somewhere and not like i'm stuck in one place. it's a good place to be for all of the things i'm working on in my life.