i had this whole post written and wow...depressing, so it's gone and now i have nada. i've been writing that a lot lately. big depresso posts and then i delete them. i'm sort of an all or nothing writer, always have been. 30 page history paper due tomorrow "oh! i don't like this sentence." delete the whole thing and start over. i've never been an editor. can you tell? i usually scrap projects the second it looks like they won't finish up the way i planned. sometimes i start over, sometimes i give up completely. that is the essence of why this "project" is so unique. it's the waking up everyday and not quitting that makes the difference.
i've been wondering lately about some dieters. folks who've been at the same weight for ages and ages and are still trying even though nothing seems to change. i've been wondering where the breaking point is? when is it time to accept mediocrity if not defeat? i wonder because at heart i'm a quitter. seeing people struggle makes me cringe, struggling myself makes me insane. there's nothing a quitter likes better than company. a big circle of cowards to lament their failings together for all eternity. but that's not going to happen because they're all too strong. they face the hard times and they keep going. and so will i. i have nothing to lose in trying and everything to gain with my patience.
and that's what i'm thinking about. that and all the folks who've come and gone since the first of the year. if you're still around, you're always welcome. we're here to support eachother and you if you need us. we all know what it's like to have days where you can't face another failure, when the pain of it breaks your heart. i just wanted to say don't give up, that's the only thing worth regretting.