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10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Monday, February 26, 2007

"I'm a good cook. In theory. I've eaten a lot."

i've been thinking all morning about french fries. you know how sometimes you fantasize about some food for so long that the actual experience is pre-ordained to pale in comparison. i hate that. i really wanted those french fries i had for lunch to solve all my problems. and decorate my living room. but really it's just another notch in my belt of crappy food choices lately. i didn't need to eat all that pizza this weekend. i didn't need to make ben and jerry the first occupants of my new freezer. no matter how many calories i burned hauling boxes up stairs.

part of it is that i don't have the time or the supplies to make real food right now. but mostly, being under the smallest bit of strain encourages me to give myself permission to eat badly. i treat stress like a free pass, when probably i'd feel much better if i did a little more to eat decent food. i do the same things every time i'm under pressure. and fall into the same traps. i end up feeling physically ill, emotionally weak, and usually financially wrecked. all of which, of course, stress me out more. and on and on.

i have a few more nights of living in two houses, packing and driving all night, and buying stuff i can't actually afford (two words: well pump). i just have to make the most of what i have for two more nights. the only thing i have going for me is the insane amount of calories you burn while pushing a mattress up a flight of stairs. better than nothing i suppose.

2 comments:

metamorphose said...

Vicious cycle. I can certainly relate. But moving is a bitch. And sometimes giving in to French fries is awesome...unless the fries suck. That's sad.

Amy said...

the fries weren't bad. i've just become one of those healthy people that can't eat bad food anymore. i'm genuinely disappointed.