as fluffie bunnie points out in the comments on the last post, my house is exactly like a gingerbread house with frosting binding the seams*. only the treats hiding hither and yon are of unknown age and quality. as sarah learned when trying to eat some of the maple candy** we brought back from vacation last year. so i tossed a few things last night. i saved everything with a reasonable sell by date. i don't know why really, i just don't have the heart to throw it away yet.
i don't know what the deal was with buying all that stuff in the first place. the lovely D and i had a chat about similar stuff a few months ago. like we feel we have to prove we have the right to buy this stuff whether or not we're going to eat it. that we could if we wanted to. it's so obscure. something to do with the denial you feel when you're on a hardcore diet. on an average day, when i'm not thinking about carbs or calories or exercise, i don't think about buying or eating a sleeve of chips ahoy. the minute you tell yourself you can't have those pre-packaged preservative laden discs of evil, you go and buy some. it's like required to bring the 7th level of hell to a full circle.
i'm thinking about shipping them all to my sister in japan. they have an earnest appreciation of all things american, more preservatives the better. she once traded a box of kraft mac and cheese for a vcr. think of what she'll get for the doubl stuff. and it's way too expensive for her to call and be mad at me. unlike my sister in new hampshire. who incidentally called me last night and illustrated why i love my family so much.
her: hi! amy? can i borrow some money so i can get liposuction?
me: sure. check's in the mail.
her: ok. thanks. bye.
and then she hung up. she's really making the most of this free calls on the cell phone thing. bless her.
**i originally wrote "maple canada" here instead of maple candy. wouldn't that be great, half a continent of solid maple sugar candy? fuckin' awesome.