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10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

184

means to an end? i guess we'll see. it's so interesting to see what brings out the comments, apparently the cola war is all consuming. i love pinky's Triumverate Of Evil. it's so true how some food information sticks out in the mind. i will forever feel guilty every time i'm offered wheat bread and refuse. i know it's supposed to be better for you, we're beaten over the head by it. but i hate it. with a passion that burns like one thousand suns. i've never liked it and i never will, but when i choose rye or white over wheat i always feel like the waitress is judging me. it's another one of those moments when you have to remember that the only person agonizing over your bread choice is you.

i've been thinking about the calorie counting thing lately. to go along with my journaling. that rings so loudly of a genuine diet that it scares me. but i'm almost interested enough in my daily caloric consumption to do the math. almost. i'm trying to talk myself into looking at it like a science experiment, anything but being a "dieter". i hate that word. i hate the images it brings to my mind of my mom dieting. she did one that was all grapefruit and one that was all ice cream. to be the person who came up with the ice cream diet would have to be like a religious experience. but then sometimes i think my mom made it up because she liked ice cream.

so i've been using the word lately. trying to get comfortable with it, but it's work. i suppose that is the most obvious way of looking at what i'm trying to do for myself. but that's not what it means to me. i'm trying to change my life and change my habits. it's not just about losing a few pounds for an outfit or an event like you might with a diet. that's part of my issue with diet foods. i'm not going to eat diet foods forever, i'm just not. i buy reduced fat when i can, dairy products mostly. it's a perfectly natural process of removing the fat from the milk and they've done it since ever. but i refuse to buy any product that lists anal leakage on the facts panel to save a few calories. it's just not worth it to me.

it is worth it to me to eat dessert sometimes, and have soda sometimes and to put sugar in my cheerios once in a while. these choices aren't going to get me a size 10 ass. i know it and i live with it. maybe sharing tiramisu with the boyfriend isn't going to make me as happy in the long run as being fit and buying smaller sizes might. but i could get hit by a cloven hooved woman from new jersey tomorrow. life expectancies are significantly lower in the summer in bar harbor and i'd hate to die without properly romancing the boyfriend. it wouldn't be right.

8 comments:

PastaQueen said...

I agree it's weird what entries get lots of comments. I once made an offhand comment about how nagging your children about their weight was bad and got lots of comments about it even though it wasn't even the point of the entry. I also find posts with pictures rake in the comments.

Amy said...

i imagine everyone has memories of their parents nagging them about weight. (maybe everyone is too inclusive, but it feels like it) and we know we all drink soda. but, actually, i think consumption must have gone down because the price keeps dropping. coke is always on sale, it makes me think most people are kicking the habit for good and it's hurting the man.

duenneschen said...

interesting thought and why is it cheaper at gasstations? 2 for 2.

yes...cola is a huge weakness of mine..i hope i can kick it for good while i'm over here!

Jennifer said...

I never use the word 'diet' either, for very similar reasons to yours. I guess it just has a bad connotation for people in our generation (I say, not knowing how old you are). I once drank soda at every opportunty and thought I could never live without it. Now I have it only every once in a while and GOOD GOD do I love it. What good is a tiny ass if you can't walk it down to an ice cream parlour every now and then?

Michelle said...

I've finally learned that "dieting" is not going to help me loose the weight I want to loose. I just say the word and gain 5 lbs. For me, I'm choosing to eat smaller portions. I'm also learning that I do not need to snack and watch T.V.
By the way..this comment made me smile.."but i could get hit by a cloven hooved woman from new jersey tomorrow. life expectancies are significantly lower in the summer in bar harbor and i'd hate to die without properly romancing the boyfriend. it wouldn't be right."

~M

pinky pinkerson said...

I was raised on a diet. I've never been good at gauging when to stop eating, so who knows if things might be different if I hadn't had Tab, chicken breasts and steamed cauliflower since day one.

Haystacks said...

I avoided losing weight for years because I hated 'diets' "Diet" Consume your life. They ruin in. Only ten times worse is "Life Style Change" Being Gay and Being Fat are apparently both lifestyles. What happends if you are Gay and Fat? Which Life do you get to keep?

The only way I could move on and diminish my ever expanding tummy was to ignore all vocabulary words. I also punch anyone who uses them, which makes talking with paranoid skinny girls very funny.

Heather said...

The program, www.dietpower.com, works well for me. It's awesome. There's a free trial you can try (15 days) to see if it's right for you.

Umm, I'm not affiliated with the program in any way. FYI. Thought it might help you :)