it's possible i was a little caffeinated this morning. i'm coming to terms with my mortality or something. if my body is in this rough of shape at 25, i'm going to be in trouble later. unless i do something about it.
i guess i'm feeling out of control. because it's totally in my control to take care of my back and my neck, i just can't commit to maintain my health. i think about this all the time actually. if i had a diabetes diagnosis would it motivate me to change my habits. would infinite sickness be enough or would i give in and just shoot up insulin all day. i really wonder about it.
i was looking at my exercise from a strictly caloric point of view. i need to look at it from a whole health point of view. this is a great theory. we'll see if i can prove it to myself. it all reminds me that this is about more than just losing a dress size. it's good motivation. whether or not it makes a difference i don't know...we'll see. so far i can't be bothered to diet for my figure, maybe dieting for the spine will get better results.