the good news is that the size 14 gap skirt fits way better than the size 16 gap skirt. the bad news is that the 16 cost $19.99 instore and the 14 $29.99 online. i could a) switch the 16 for the 14 and return it with the online receipt and hope they don't look too closely. b) tell them the problem with the amounts and hope they see the sense of giving me the $29.99 back. i have a habit of hatching elaborate returning schemes in my head and it's hardly ever necessary. the girl at the register almost never gives a shit about why you're returning something. i always feel like a need an excuse, it must be my catholic upbringing.
the best part is that i get to go to bangor tonight, and make my return and maybe even go to sam's club. for bulk butter. butter and hydraulic oil are the only things we ever buy at sam's. one day i want to get one of those giant wheels of cheese. think of the world of options for a nebuchadnezzar of cheese. one day cheese, one day.