i'm going to pretend i didn't gain 2 pounds in a day. i don't know how it's possible. it must have been a trick of the light. the weightloss success comes and goes but the denial is coming along nicely.
in diet and exercise success, i ran this morning and didn't eat the horribly fat laden pastry brought to us by some of our customers. my boss, who incidentally ate the whole thing, said they were gross and not worth the calories so i'm saving myself. we're grilling tuna steaks tonight. i think that's my favorite new dish. i've been marinating them in lime juice and serving them with grilled vegetables. a little wild rice. i can feel my eyes glazing over.
hey, speaking of eyes, i seem to have developed a lump right next to the blue part i can't remember the name for. sara, my co-worker, has been telling me i look like i'm strung out for a few days and today there is an undeniable bump. i called the eye doctor this morning to make an appointment. it always seems that i alarm their receptionist with my eye issues. our last vacation was to quebec city in august, where i burned my retinas. i can tell you that there is some kind of fast service when you tell the woman you're seeing shining spots. same kind of service you get when you tell her you have a bump. and she says "on the lid?" and i say "no, on the white next to the blue part" and she says "ON THE WHITE?" and then she says "how's 1:30?"
so that's my afternoon planned for me. i can't wait to see what they say. i'm a little worried because my neighbor works there. the one with the shelf of breyer horses and the three cats with the litter tray right next to the cold air intake. i'm afraid that the doctor is going to ask "are you exposed to harsh chemicals on a daily basis?" and i'll have to say yes. ammonia. but none of this has anything to do with being fat, or exercising or cooking healthy food. i've been in a bit of a holding pattern getting ready for vacation and house guests and yadda yadda yadda. also, i'm confused by the upswing in the numbers. i've been feeling very muscular lately. i can really see the muscles in my arms now. i don't think it's because they're getting bigger, i just think there's less fat around them. less fat is good, but less fat equals floppy skin. i keep thinking of college when this friend of ours lost a bit of weight (she wasn't all that fat to begin with) and our other friend described her breast (which had escaped from the dress during a raging fit of dancing) as a floppy triangle. i don't want to be a floppy triangle person. surely it's a transitional stage, but i'm worried. what if i stall out at half fat and i'm floppy forever? so i'm happy to see my muscle but i'll be really happy when i start to shed some skin. and now i'm going to google bumptious eye conditions so i can be properly panicked by 1:30. au revoir!