you know what happens when you're all excited to wear your sexy heels to work? you totally forget to pack shoes to walk in. for as much as i think about footwear, i'm always forgetting about it. the last pair of sneakers i bought was on the first leg of a road trip to quebec city. because i only took the flip flops i was wearing when we got in to the car. moron. i had three maps, cash in two currencies, the phone numbers of every hotel with availability on our route. and no shoes. so my very patient friend who flew all the way from baltimore to drive another 5 hours had to stop and shoe shop with me. and then we had to buy socks. those are the sneakers i exercise in. a very fancy pair of new balances. they were service-able* for the trip but they give me the most perfect blisters when i run in them.
this hasn't been much of an issue because i've been a slacker. and also i've been stepping more than running. the point is that i've been exercising in shoes bought under duress and furthermore i routinely forget the duress shoes and then i'm strapped at work for my walk. yesterday i went to the sports store and took a gander at their running shoes, because i really do want to start running again. properly. i'm amazed to say that i've discovered endorphins from exercise. they kick in at the exact moment that i would normally be ready to give up. i learned all this from the stepper. i've been goading myself to always beat the last high number and i've realized the last two weeks that i routinely beat it because i want to keep going not because i need to do twenty more to make it past yesterday's high. i haven't even been looking at the counter the last few weeks.** i get to this point where my legs are killing me but i just don't want to stop moving. i want to get there with running.
the hard truth is that i'm more willing to spend 60 bucks on sex kitten heels that i'll never wear than i am to buy real running shoes so i can finally shift this ass. i looked at a few pairs of shoes, and then i went back to work. i must have a problem with commitment. i have almost decided to trade in the chinese laundry heels for proper running shoes. the problem is not that i don't believe they'll be worth it. i have to convince myself that i won't quit running again. that with shoes that don't cause blisters and pants that don't fall down i will be able to keep going long enough to not want to stop. what do they say? if you go fast enough you can't see where you came from. sometimes i think that's exactly what this whole journey is about for me.
** ofcourse i dropped my cd player on it and now it doesn't always work...that could have a small part to do with it.