this morning i weighed out of habit but i'm re-thinking the scale thing. i have the choice of buying a new scale of the calibur that i can't afford or getting a tape measure. i haven't really decided. this week has been really hard.* maybe it's the time change, i'm not sure. i had a little vacation yesterday. i decided to cook and eat whatever i wanted for dinner and not worry about it. i ended up with a decent meal, veg. omelet with pumpernickel toast. i was rather proud that what i really wanted wasn't so bad for me. not like macaroni and cheese or something super fat-tastic.
i'm taking a vacation from planning all my food. tonight we're roasting a chicken and some potatoes. i plan to eat them. i'm going to continue my vacation for a few more days or until i don't feel like the walking dead anymore. i haven't been very strict for a while and i haven't wanted to eat any easter bunnies since the last one. i haven't had any cravings really, or any interest in food or anything else. i've been cooking whatever is perishable or easy. i've made salads for lunch because i can't afford to waste the lettuce. i've been eating cereal for breakfast because the milk dies at the end of the week. i'm boring myself beyond recognition. i used to love cooking and now i can barely chop for an omelet.
*i have enough counseling experience to hear depression diagnosis from every angle in this entry. i know it well and i know i would probably be prescribed something that would make me numb, or fat-ter or something else i'm not interested in.