i'm not pissed off about being fat, i'm used to that. i'm pissed off about working in the other branch. the one with the donuts.* i hate being driven into situations where i will inevitably fail. i feel a similar way about the weightloss thing except no one's driving me but myself. today i had to work in a new branch that is not my branch because the M.O. has an inability to plan. second to that inability there were no computers and no phone lines. the cell reception was sloppy so i couldn't even call for help. you know what happens when you have no computers in a bank? and half the cash work is on the computer and half isn't? your drawer is short hundreds of dollars. that's what happens. and then crying.
i didn't actually cry but i really wanted to when half the executive board was standing around staring at me and eating cake while i tried to count money without actual hissing curses from my increasingly fork-tongued mouth. that is what i mean by being driven to fail. nothing was ready for us to be working today, but the powers that be decided it would be done and so we were all there. they don't have to actually deal with customers so they don't actually care that you can't do anything for them with no COMPUTERS.**
if i wasn't so tired i'd be eating. i'm planning to do some pilates when i get home. that or watching the joy luck club and writing poetry in a darkened room.
*and today they had cake, but that's another matter.
**ofcourse there was banking without computers. but it was different. folks had to carry their account numbers and things took a very long time. folks now have no information and no time and it makes them grumpy when they have to both wait for their transaction and for me to call bar harbor on my cell phone to get their account numbers.