10 pounds down 32 pounds to go!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

fool hardy undergarments

i was gonna write about this crazy bra i bought from lane bryant but i got distracted by eating an entire chocolate easter bunny. it wasn't a very large bunny, but now i feel very ill. i wasn't even hungry. i might be going insane. i don't know why i bought it or why i ate it. all. thankfully i'm too cheap to have bought a large one. but now i'm wondering what exercise i'm going to do when i get home to punish (for lack of a better word) myself. i don't like either that need to punish myself or the fact that i compulsively ate a whole bunny and also now i feel very ill.

i'm seeing a few too many chocolate scoffing for no reason posts. no "i really wanted something sweet and after many hours of craving i succombed". it's all just buying it and eating it all at once with no thought. that's no good. i've got to try harder not to eat the crap. i always feel sick afterward. i don't ever buy chips or junk like that i don't even buy white bread anymore and i've cut my sugar consumption atleast by half but still i buy large amounts of chocolate and just eat it for no reason. i don't even enjoy it.

i've started to feel really proud of how i've been keeping up the exercise. i need to keep feeling proud about that and stop eating like i don't really want to lose weight. i'm trying to think of this as a life change and not a diet. i don't want a life of eating chocolate all the time and then dreaming about roman vomitoriums. i want to not do that anymore. grrrr.

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