so far the south beach thing is going ok. one of my co-workers is thinking about starting with me, as soon as she's done her stash of goldfish. it'll be nice to have some support at work. especially as the god damn main office sent down a huge bag of valentine candy. did they send chocolates when i wasn't on a diet, NOT ONCE. it's evil. those chocolates have no right to look so pretty with the red foil wrappers. i'm trying to convince myself that they're much prettier if you don't eat them, and leave the pretty wrappers on. and then eat some peanuts.
valentine's day was nice, although i cheated like mad. a breadstick and a few squares of potato. and when i have no results i'll know why. the boyfriend brought two dozen pink roses, and extra dozen because he couldn't buy chocolates. maybe next year...but probably not. better to be surrounded by roses than rent out space to store your ass.
i've been arguing with myself alot lately. half of me saying, you're fine the way you are have a cookie and the other half saying you know you can do better. i need to make institutionalized changes. forever. i do not want to end up dieting forever and asking the boyfriend if my ass looks fat in the last mumu on earth that will contain my largess. i really think i need to start leaving post it's like that around the house. i used to have ones that said "floss, or your teeth WILL fall out". i don't floss everyday, but i do feel guilty about it so that's a start, eh?
i did institute a grocery shopping rule. i have to look over the cart and decide whether i really NEED everything that's in it before cashing out. part because the cookies jump right off the shelf and into the cart (true fact) and part because damn, i can't afford to spend all the money on healthy food and the junk food. if i'm shelling out for decent food i need to see results. i work in banking and i'm going to consider it like a loan. if i put the money in, i'd better earn back the principal and interest. or i get liquidized and auctioned off. one pound at a time.
in other rule making news i have added current and goal weights to the right. and we'll have weekly weighings. i might weigh more (pun enjoyed regardless of intention) but i'm only going to count the once a week weighing. and that's what i'll use for progress. not just post bathroom pre-shower naked weighings in the am for the esteem boost. although i do intend to get a hair cut before the next official weighing. ha.